Chapter 6: lullaby

Today was actually a good day.

But not in the good reasons. I went to Noura's house, just her and me because we had to do a school project.

We where sitting in the floor of her kitchen talking shit like we usually do, but this time it was different.

I got to know a version of her I didn't before and I'm glad i did because she is one of my best friends and I just want to help, we talked about almost everything and then she asked me a question "have you ever purged?" She said.

Numbed and scared, I just didn't say anything and didn't knew how she could react.

After hours of talking, I found out a lot of things I didn't knew before like, she was struggling with the same as me.

She looked in the mirror and touched her ribs and I did the same, we where both proud of our ribs coming out. For a moment I felt safe, I was finally being me and I knew she wouldn't judge me, for a moment I wanted to tell her but I guess I'm still testing her if I could actually tell her or not.

I wish a would have.

For once tomorrow I'll go back to school I will know I'm not the only one thats alone.

I'm just grateful and sad at the same time for someone to understand me but I don't want my friends to feel like this.

Today was the best day I've had in a long time.

Finally I opened up to someone.

After everything that happened at Noura's house I really felt like if our friendship had an upgrade.

It was another level of trust that I didn't had with people.

Now I can just tell her everything so I finally confessed to her all my disorders and she has been the only one of my friends that has told me something that made me feel a little better. She said "I knew it, I could feel it, we're the same. Don't worry we'll make it out together"

Those few words meant the world to me, her honesty and kind word made me feel a lot better about myself.

Now we are three wintergirls but I feel like I connect more with Noura than with my other friends thats anorexic, but I'll support them both equally, i know I'm not supposed to be happy but I am.

I'm glad someone gets me and I'm glad is here and nobody else.

She's been through so much and I'll try to make her better and heal her and fast as I can cause I know how horrible is to live like this. As a slave of food.