Chapter 10: Sleepless Memories
The sun rose through the window this Saturday morning. Its rays tearing through my eyelids as they fell, but refused to close. "I haven't slept a wink" the thought spread through my body. With it came the silhouette of yesterday. The whimpering wails of my horrid voice as she embraced me. After that, everything turned silent. Until the clock hit 6 and we had to go our separate ways.
I was so pathetic and so weak and I'm forsaken'd to see it since last night. Every time separating in the same silence. My clenching eyes just loved this torture. Dragging myself out of bed, feeling a few of my feet bones crack. And stretching out my back, I felt four nudges as my spine shifted amongst itself. Stumbling into my desk, taking the speech processor of my implant, after a few yawning failures.
Stumbling my way up to a mirror. My white hair spread out of control, mocking me with a gleeful grin. "You will last 50 mins combing me" it whispered into my head. After which my nostrils got pulled out of my face. The stained white shirt I wore to bed reeked of sweat. I questioned my sanity as I kept sniffing it. Succumbing to my nostrils, I place the processor on the table and take off my shirt. Tossing it towards the basket in the other corner of the room at light speed.
*Sigh* realising I missed, I tried to walk towards it but it was too far away. Turning to the mirror again, leaving the shirt on the wooden floor. Taking hold of the brush next to my processor. The brush struggled to slide through the hair, getting caught in it. Tears filled my eyes as I kept trying and failing. My pale arms showing off their thinness through the mirror. Slight flashes of the hits they've taken coming through my eyes.
Shaking my head, I return to the mirror. Giving up on the brush, I notice the eye bags in my face. A dark shadow lurking below my dulled emerald eyes. I knew I didn't sleep well, but to not notice them. "I was beyond just tired" the thought popped in my head. Finding resolve in my tired self, I walk over to the bathroom. After undressing, I face the shower. "Cold water has to do it" my internal wish, no prayer, resounded as I ventured forth. Shifting the handle, it roared out.
A torrent of freezing daggers stabbed at me. Shivering, I reached out for the soap, failing to keep my grasp. It mocked me, sliding through the tub. My hand tightened into a fist as I stared. The nails digging into my palm, reminding me of my pathetic self yesterday. A bestial grunt flooded the tub, scaring the soap to stop in its tracks.
"Why?" That one question dripped through me alongside the water. My hands trimming through my hair. After a few minutes of "meditating" I grab the first shirt in the closet. A light blue shirt, with no design, plain. Alongside that, I put on the processor. So I can now hear my stomach plead. Seeing as that would lead to meeting my dad in the morning, I breathe. Intending to lock myself in the attic until I starve, I open the door. I strongly believe whichever deity rules the world hates me.
"My child, I see you've arisen from your slumber" the sovereign of the fort, aka my dad, imposed dominance. Brandishing the shirtless wrath of his dark brown six pack. Accompanied by his huge bare feet. Topping it off with a pose reminiscent to that of
"Did you just wait for me to come out" My hands flashed instantly at him. To which he gave the biggest grin in the world and a nod. Hurricanes blew out of my nose as I followed him for breakfast. He had already whiffed up his signature 5 star dish, cheese and ham sandwich. His typical villain laugh resounded as he tended to his bike. What my Mother likes to call his first wife. I took my part of breakfast and try to leave, I failed.
"My child, you musn't, we shall bond over yesterday's F1 run" I felt the weight of his expectation through his eager disposition. Hurricanes shot out my nose as I sat on the couch. The longest 30 minutes of my life passed. The sovereign had drained me of the will to live. Just like he did to his usual slaves. During those 30 minutes I could not look at the screen for 5 straight seconds. Instead, I'd look at his short white hair in jealousy.
My mom entered the room, phone in hand. "Yata have you made me coffee" in her pouty voice came my saving grace. Flashing to the kitchen, I leave her coffee to brew. Her long white dress flying over her pale skin, giving an air of fragility. Her skinny arms hugging me from behind. A shiver ran through me as I tried to control myself.
"Oh spouse of mine, please accompany us in watching F1," the shine in his eyes grew even stronger. But the hurricanes in my nose would blow just as strong.
"Honey, a good morning is also welcome," Her voice resounded in a lazy reply as she held me closer to her. Meanwhile, the sovereign would start moping. Incomprehensible mumbles escaping his lips.
"Come Yata, let us sleep again" Coffee mug in hand, my mom dragged me across the hall. Her triumphant march setting my dad to cry.
"SPOUSE OF MINE!!!" tears shooting out of his eyes. The sovereign had fallen, defeated. Groveling on the floor, he pleaded with mom to not leave him to watch tv alone. Sadly, mom's eyes scorned him. Glaring daggers through his tears.
"You should have thought about greeting me before your bike beforehand," Ice dripped from her words as the sovereign regretted his choice. Her long blond hair flowed as she gave her back to the sovereign. Dragging me into the depths of the hallway, and ultimately into her room.