Haha fart go pfffffffft

(Author thingy)

Well I'm back from staying over with my friends. I had a lot of fun we did a bunch of things like make pancakes, burgers and pizza we watched the life of Brian, Monty python and the holy grail, the entirety of one punch man and a couple of seasons of South Park (again) we also went tree climbing did an escape room and went bowling (became 2nd). Over all I had a great time not because the activities were fun but because my buddies are fun to hang out with. I hope all of you have at least one friend with who you can do anything and it's still fun.

And even when I was gone you still sent nice comments about my dog and the chapters so thank you very much. I'll of course stay humble I'm probably one of the most humble person in existence I mean who can be more humble than me the god of humbleness.

(Mia )

Normally I'm not awake till like 12:00 because waking up is one of the worst things to ever exist let alone waking up early. And I sleep around 03:00 because going to bed is for kids and I'm a grown up so I can do what I want finally suck on that mom and dad. Valery on the other hand really likes waking up early and going to bed early I think she's crazy.

But today is different I pretty much slept the whole day yesterday so I could wake up bright and early today (00:00) because today is the last day till we arrive home and so my last day I can spend relatively alone with Sam.

The whole trip was not very eventful we came across some more humans some hostile some just passing by

We thought about just killing everyone normally we would but this time we didn't really want to draw to much attention even tough they could probably not mobilize anything on time to even hurt us let alone kill.

But we had Sam with us so if any of those nasty pigs even got remotely close to him I couldn't forgive him or myself. And if we get held up to long the search parties sent by the church after Sam who was until recently meant to be a tribute could catch up and that would just be a hassle.

In those party's are probably some of the stronger people in the churches arsenal if they sent some of their elites they could maybe defeat me and Valery.

Even tough we didn't go around and kill everyone we still had a good time killing some of the hostile people, watching Sam play with the hellhound and even bringing some of the bandits and stuff to a torture room I had a lot of fun in that room and Valery did to only she doesn't want to admit it since she told me before that my torturing of prey is barbaric and stuff so if she admits now that she actually likes doing it she admits she is wrong and her pride won't allow that.

I found out because I put a recording inscription inside so I can enjoy their suffering multiple times and even show what I did with the other torture subjects to my new victims often just showing the recording is enough to get them to beg for their lives.

One time I forgot to turn take the inscription and it kept recording so when I saw Valery going in in the morning surprised me quite a bit but it was a welcome surprise because this meant I had a trick up my sleeve for if I needed it. So I let her continue.

Sam was lying with Valery in bed Valery was hugging him tightly. I tried prying Sam out of her arms but she didn't budge so I had to wake her up I tried to punch her face but she caught my hand and glared at me.

I calmly said: "it's my turn to have him" while pointing at Sam

Valery said nothing and continued to glare at me but after a minute or so she very reluctantly loosened her grip on Sam not completely letting go but I quickly snatched him up and took him with me.

I stared at his cute calm face as he was sleeping and waited for him to wake up.

For a while now I've been trying to teach Sam something. If this works Valery would probably die of jealousy. I'm trying to teach him how to talk specifically to have him call me mommy if Valery heard him call me mommy she would either die on the spot or go on a murderous rampage haven't seen her go on one in a while so either way would be fun.

But first I'll have to have him say mommy.

"Sam say mommy"

"Hhhhbllllllll"

"No mommy"

"Blab blab blab"

I'm not making a lot of progress but I'll have to keep trying I can't give up.

Suddenly he started making a lot of noise and he tried to get of my lap but I didn't want to let go so I held on to him.

A bit confused as to why he suddenly was acting like this I suddenly heard a pffffffffffffffft and realized what had happened. For some reason he looked quite embarrassed which is kinda weird didn't know baby's could feel shame anyway I quickly calmed him before he started crying

As I finished changing his diaper when I heard Valery yell that we had arrived.