Part 23

Justin's POV

I looked at Selena to see a tear slip from her closed eyes, her hands gripped onto my shoulders as I looked mine.

She looked like she was remembering something but I shook my head at this sudden felt of care.

I hated her.

It was only her.

She made him like that.

She made me like this.

She killed my mum, she deserves my hate and whatever I will do to her.

So she knows how it feels to destroy someone's life.

"I-I'm sorry" Selena whispered opening her eyes and I released her from my hands causing her to lose her balance but she quickly regained it.

"Fuck you" I cursed feeling my anger get the better of me.

She cant just say that she killed my mother and say sorry.

You, you just can't.

She let out a harsh breath and looked at me with her eyes slightly darkened. "That sounds like a good idea" Selena smirked with a bitter tone and I bit my lip stopping myself from a nasty comment.

First she said that she was sorry and now she's acting like this.

I couldn't think when I was around her.

Fuck I felt too much when I'm with her.

Too much hate, too much anger, too much lo.."Shut up Selena" I said before storming out of the room.

Why the fuck is she acting so different all the time?

Why the fuck did I believe that she could actually be nice?

Why the fuck did I fall for her?

Selena's POV

I slumped down the wall feeling defeated.

But I didn't even know why?

I know what I did was wrong but I was 5 years old.

I was naive but I don't know whether Justin will understand or whether he'll even want to.

Maybe there's no way out by this.

Maybe I cant make Justin forgive me.

Maybe I did kill his mum.

Maybe I'm a murderer.

Maybe I do deserve to feel his pain.

********

Justin's POV

I let out a sigh laying my head against the door knowing how stubborn I was being.

Fuck, so many thoughts ran through my brain.

She probably gave it to him once and then he started using other drugs.

Like it was his choice to use.

I punched the wall in anger ignoring the pain increasing in my chest.

I wasn't be stubborn.

Selena deserved all the pain and suffering i'm giving her.

'But you could at least hear her out' my subconscious said and I shook my head clenching my fists together. I closed my eyes feeling the urge to walk into Selena's room but I fought the urges and stood up before collapsing on my bed.

I closed my eyes but I couldn't fall asleep causing me to groan. I tried to lay in different positions but still my body was active wanting to get off my bed.

So I eventually gave in and got off my bed.

Without her even being here, she ruins my sleep.

I opened my door and looked around to see Selena wasn't there causing me to let out a sigh of relief.

She was the last person I would want to see yet the first.

I took a step outside slightly cautious as she could still come out any moment causing my heart to speed up a little than it should.

I heard something in Selena's room causing me to stop in my tracks.

It was like she was in pain or something and I gulped.

My breathing quickened as I stepped closer to her door.

I let out a breath that I was holding in and opened her door to hear nothing but silence.

"Selena" I tried to shout but subconsciously went as a whisper and I heard something from the bathroom.

I walked towards it and Selena stepped out causing me to jump up.

She looked at me in shock. "What are you doing?" she whispered placing her wrists behind her back causing me to tilt my head in confusion. "What are you hiding?" I asked again walking closer towards her and she took a step back before I noticed she was in a towel with her hair drenched in water which was hitting the floor.

"Nothing" Selena said more confidently and I clenched my jaw getting annoyed before her back hit the wall causing her to gulp knowing there was no place to escape from me.

"Im asking you one more time Selena, what are you hiding?" I spoke calmly towering over her small height and she adjusted her towel around her before she tried to push me away but I already knew what was going to happen so I grabbed onto her wrists pushing them above her head causing her to let out a whimper.

"Let go" Selena whimpered and I felt a wet substance on my hand.

I looked to my hands to see there was blood on them. "Shit" I whispered before letting go to see Selena had slit her wrists. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" I shouted grabbing her hand to the bathroom.

"I-I" I heard her stutter looking at her wrists causing me to let out a frown. I grabbed the first aid kit from the cabinet and placed her on top of the toilet seat kneeling in front of her.

I clenched my jaw and she didn't say anything. I was about to shout but she was shaking incredible much.

"Why?" I whispered looking into her hazel eyes which were all puffy and red.

'Was she doing this because of me?' I asked myself and she sniffled breaking the eye contact from me. "I-I wanted to know how you felt?" she whispered causing me to close my eyes knowing she was talking about the scars on my wrists and I shook my head with a groan.

"All I wanted to do was make you regret what you did Selena, not completely break you" I whispered honestly wrapping her blood covered wrists as I felt a tear slid down my face.

"Sowwy" she whispered gripping onto my boxers without reakising and I sighed as she wiped the tears on my face as I cleaned hers.

"But I need to tell you the truth about your dad" Selena said grabbing my face closer to her and I felt myself stiffen under her touch. I shook my head as all the anger returned and I pushed myself away from me. "Justin" she whimpered clutching onto my hands for support and I bit my lips kneeling back down as my knees lost its strength.

I couldn't deal with the truth right now.

Or ever.

What has the truth done for me ever?

All its done is just show how shit people really are.

I looked at the person who I thought I could have as a really good friend at the beginning.

And then as a lover.

I sighed as she kneeled down Infront of me and I shook my head not really knowing why.

I guess because I just wanted everything to stop. To just not have this life right now.

I felt Selena's face nuzzle into my neck and I couldn't help but hug her.

I was too tired of feeling angry all the time.

Too tired of feeling shit.

Too tired of just wanting to end it all the time.

Too tired of being too fucking tired.

I sat back to look at Selena. "Okay tell me the truth, everything. Nothing less" I said.

...........................................