Meltdown

I didn't want to ask Mark about the Heather break up issue and I was waiting for him to open up but it seems like he won't. He hasn't texted me since my birthday.

The following week, Raiden came back but he looks weaker and way worse than before. I guess the trial did nothing for him, another fail for us and I am losing hope. I know that he won't get better but I was hoping they will find a way to improve his quality of life or at least extend his life a little more. I think with the way he looks now, that he really won't make it until the end of the year.

I gave him a day to rest before I went to his house to visit him. When I entered the room, he had his eyes closed and I thought he was sleeping. I quietly went to the high backed chair beside his bed and sat down. By the time I was settled he was looking at me. "Hey, how are you? I missed you." I said as I tried to smile.

"How do you expect me to feel? Like Superman?" he snapped and I was taken aback. I know he has his moments like this and I usually just keep quiet so I don't agitate him more. I leaned over to hold his hand but he snatched it away.

"Just leave. I don't want you here. I don't need you and I don't want to see you ever again."

"Raiden..."I was at a loss for words. This is the first time he had said those things to me. He would usually snap at me and make snide remarks but he has never sent me away before.

"Didn't you hear me? You're free. I am setting you free to date someone else. I'm breaking up with you."

"What are you talking about? What's wrong with you?"

He sneered, "What's wrong with me? Do I have to enumerate everything that's wrong with me? Don't you see or are you just that dumb?" I flinched at his words.

"Get lost Cassie, I don't really love you. I just knew I couldn't find anyone else wiling to be with me after knowing that I'm sick and you were new and didn't know about it that's why I asked you to be with me. Now that I'm dying I don't need a girlfriend to keep up my image anymore."

I felt like he slapped me. I stood up and stormed off the room, my tears blinding me. I called Mitch if she can come pick me up. I don't want to go take the bus looking like a wreck.

A few minutes later, in her car, I'm still bawling my eyes out while trying to be coherent in telling her what happened. "Does everyone really know he has cancer?" I asked Mitch.

"Yes, well, no. Everyone knew he had cancer before he transferred to our school but we all thought he was better. Nobody knew that he had a relapse."

"Then why would he say those mean things to me? He knew how I felt when Taylor told me about the bet. He knew how much he had hurt me and he promised not to hurt me that way again."

"Cas, I think he's just saying those things because he feels bad about keeping you on his side for this long. He knows he's dying and he wants you to go on with your normal life. He doesn't want you to anchor yourself to him. He's got a point, you know. School starts tomorrow and you need to start anew."

"I can't. I wish it's that easy to move on but I want to be with him until his last breath. Cheesy, I know but I do feel that way for now." I reasoned.

"I will just be here for you anytime you need me, unless I have a hot date." She said, making me laugh.

"Thanks for being such a great friend Mitch, I don't know what I would do without you. I think you deserve some ice cream for your Bestest Best Friend award."

"Yay! I could use some ice cream, this weather is literally making me melt. I can't even put on make up."

We went to the local ice cream shop and ordered the biggest sundae they have. We are splurging on ice cream today!

As we were eating ice cream, we compared our schedules that were emailed to us. I was happy to know that we have lots of classes together. Selfish as it sounds, I was happy she'd be there to keep me company, until the next boyfriend, at least. She didn't like Patrick because he was too clingy and needy which made me laugh. Usually guys have those complaints about women they date. This is the first time I've heard someone complain about a guy. She said he calls and texts her 24/7, always wanting to go out or hang out, he would just pop in her house for no reason at all. I honestly don't know why she's complaining because if it was any other girl like me, we would be happy with any guy who does that, but hey, to each her own. Michelle is a unicorn among ponies, I guess.

As I was looking for hand sanitizer in my bag, I saw the keys to Raiden's car. I made a mental note to call Catherine about the Porsche. I wanted to give her back the keys. Michelle wants me to keep it but I just can't. I feel that it's too much for me to take.