2: Leave Me In Your Past

After years of not talking to you, I received an letter and invitation to your wedding.. and to a MAN no less. Sadly enough, this letter and personalized monogrammed wedding invitation became the most interesting thing about you. I buried you as deep as my unconscious mind would allow as I repress the imprint you left on my heart.

The letter that came along with the invitation reminisced the "good old days", in which you describe our "friendship" starting because of my smile. A gesture that was never intended for you .. but somehow managed to captivate you. My smile, my moxie, my presence was a beacon of hope for you to be the best you, you can be. And you did — become the best you, you could be. The asshole. The manipulator. The spiteful girl who was only satiated when she diminished & belittled others.

Quick Question: who the fuck do you think you are? As I recall our "friendship" revolved around you. It was one-sided, selfish and depleted me of any chance I had of pursuing and fully committing to any other woman that followed after you.

You pursued me. Chased me. And despite all your efforts to ensure me you were all in .. it was the vulgar slurs that ruined us. You projected your demons and insecurities, which ultimately made up a depiction of who you really are. Your sorrow and woes of the world were tattered all over your body, yet I was on the receiving end of it all because you imposed and associated them with me.

You cheated and fucked anything that walked accruing more mileage than I ever could. Yet, a mire smile or look at another girl that lasted too long (in your opinion) meant they could steal my virginity from you. A part of me I refused to share with you because I would've been another tryst on your sexual escapade. I didn't want to be like the other girls you fucked and tossed. And no, I never thought I could change you.. I simply thought you would do that all on your own. My pureness was the only thing I could hold onto because I voluntarily gave you the rest of me in hopes you'd be grateful and considerate of those tidbits. At least enough to love me. Enough to give us a real shot. And you didn't — you were somehow incapable.

I just want to say thank you. This walk down memory lane was the best thing I never knew I needed. But just to be clear: I don't love you. I don't miss you. You were an after thought until today. The day you dumped me in the corridor in front of the entire school was the most embarrassing day I ever had, but I was and still am grateful for that day. I was free of you. And you were nothing for me to mourn.. so I went on a journey toward self-discovery and found solace in who I am.

*A 💣 Ass Black Lesbian Woman*

So, despite your last ditch effort to get out of the loveless hapless marriage awaiting you on the 25th of January; know this: I'm not that 16 year old girl anymore. I'm not a shoulder you can lean on. I don't want to be caught up in your calamity. I'm no longer the person you can call to help fix your problems and dissolve your anxiety by being a filler or voice of reason for your future husband. FUCK I LOOK LIKE?! You left me in your rearview mirror — and Im grateful that you did. So, my

R.S.V.P Response

__ Accepts With Pleasure

✅ Regretfully Decline

Forgive me for being abrupt for I've lost the capacity to lie.

Wedding advice is typical. So here's mine: As a survivor of your wrath, if you're not happy: leave. Don't wait for him to leave you or grow tired of you. Just go. You're with him for security and that's all well and fine, but does it outweigh having a piece of mind and being who you are? You're marrying someone knowing its bound to fail. So, why mock the sanctity of marriage with a known false start? 🤷🏾‍♀️

Final Farewell

Regardless of your reservations I know you're going to go through with the wedding. And in knowing that, I wish you both the best, sincerely. Congrats on your upcoming union.

Goodbye.