I Know

There is nothing more than I want to do than cry

Cry for all the time I wasted

Cry for the memories I made but forgot

Cry for all the unimportant things that were once important

Cry for the future I made for myself

If I cry now, I may never stop

There's too much unsaid and things I want to scream so I can feel free.

If I think too hard, I'll spiral and never see the surface

I'll work hopelessly in an attempt to make up for what I threw away

It won't be enough

It's never enough,

I thought it was then but I was foolish, They said it wasn't about quantity, but quality and I believed them.

I agreed, I followed my heart and now it aches.

Aches more than the sun burns

Or the storm rages

Or the loss of a lover.

I'm in pain and all I want to do is cry it all away.

My vision will cloud and I won't have to think of my future

Only the past and my mistakes.

Yet when my vision is clear nothing will be fixed

I still won't have enough

They'll still be better than me

I'll still have to work harder to catch up

There is nothing more I want to do than cry

It's a luxury I can't afford