LIFE AND LIVING

She was baffled by the idea of Blue doing such a dreadful thing. She didn't know how to confront a man who performed such a hideous crime  . She needed time to accept it in the the first place, because although it was proved ,but she couldn't accept the fact that she ever liked such a person and wasn't able to see through him. She believed, a person's actions and intentions can never hide , personality can never be faked so much that a hateful being becomes lovable.

She wanted to see the man she trusted , see if he seems the same , sounds the same, but everything's changed. She fought with him, accused him,sometimes was mad at him. But from her heart she never abhorred him, she never wanted to hear that he is a traitor. He liked his patience and endurance to hear every blame against himself. She was comfortable with saying all the hateful words to him because deep down she knew he is a great person ,mature enough to not take things seriously, which are of no concern to him.

The night of Christmas, she laid thinking about it with a cool mind. She decided to visit Blue, give him a Christmas gift, the glass ornament, tell him that Saiph bought it for him, because he cared. Ask him the reasons for his actions?  Ask him if his heart allowed it?  If he at peace after what he has done?  Do he not fear himself?  What a horrible man he was.

                      ************

Her heart beat was ringing in her ears, she felt her heart banging in her chest, the tears blurred her eyes.  There was a lot to think about, bit her mind was numb with pain, and shouting and screaming inside her he'd at the same time.

She ran through long corridors of the hospital, spirit scent all around and moaning people on stretchers being transferred from here to there.

She wasn't able to see, anything other then room 154 . She rushed through the stairs, around the pillars ,trembling all over.

And as if time stopped when she reached the room 154 .she didn't has courage to open the door.

With shivering hands and unbalanced vision, she swung it open.

Drips, medicines. Intravenous injections ,tubes wrapped around his hand , taped to his nose, and oxygen mask. ECG showing irregular patterns, beeping after intervals, he laid there with eyes closed.

She moved close and whispered in quaking voice " Blue "

Blue opened his eyes, and looked at Bliss.

She moved closer , failed to hold back her tears. " Oh!  Blue what has happened? "

She held his hand. " I am so sorry! Oh what has happened.. " she wailed.

Blue with an effort took of his mask. " merry Christmas bliss " he said in a feeble voice.

" forgive me Blue,  I was so wrong " she bawled.

" don't tell Mia . She'll be worried " he was only whispering in a painful voice.

Bliss only cried and cried.

" what do I do?  Oh God.... " she cried out.

" I'm fine Bliss "

She shook her head, " I can't bear the sin of thinking wrong of you ."she whimpered.

" everything is fine "he said kindly.

" it's not,  I am so hateful, "

" last Christmas, mom said she wanted to see my children at this one " he said in a lost dreamy voice.

Bliss sobbed and listened.

" she will get to see my child next month, I couldn't give her what she wanted " he kept talking almost to himself.

" today she will only loose one child "

" No.. Blue.....please.  ohhh.... Don't say that Blue.... I  can't bear it " she released her tears again.

" promise me you won't tell Mia, it's not good for her "

" you will be fine.. You will be.... "

Suddenly the ECG started to fall constant, the beep became faster and louder , so did her heart beat.

She rushed toward the door for help.

She shouted to call the nurses and doctors.

Then came back in tears to look after Blue.

She was talking gibberish, giving hope mostly to herself.

" Bliss ", blue held out his hand. "listen to me.. "

She immediately held it and soaking her tears, attended to him.

Then the hustle and tumult and rush of doctors and nurses around them dimmed, she only heard his last words and knew nothing else while listening to them.

She listened even after he became quite. She listened even after he was dead, until a nurse pushed her aside and she lost hold of his hand.

She stood numb, passively watching his face being covered up by the blue sheets , he was as still as dead. Then she realized he really was dead.

She thought she could stand there watching him , peacefully laying liberated from everything, for eternity.  She was pinched by a cry ,loud and clear . Were she hallucinating?

Maybe not.

It was Mia,  standing at the door of the room of death and dead.

It was then Bliss remembered, Mia said she would surprise Blue at Christmas , she would come back earlier and will give him the Christmas gift herself. Life had a bigger surprise for her.

Carrying the pain of the baby in her belly and her husband's death , she bent down and screamed.

Bliss held her and kissed her forehead, she hugged her tight so she don't loose her.

Seeing her condition, doctors injected her anesthesia and carried her to care ward . Her grief harmed her. The shock was dangerous for her health.

Bliss stayed closed to Mia, stuck to her same as the child she was crying . Bliss felt there was nothing else to loose.

She wanted to hold everyone she was left with close to her , somewhere safe inside her heart. But she was helpless.