Please Find Me

We were enveloped by complete silence, not an awkward silence but rather a comfortable silence. All we can hear is our heavy breaths, the sound of the rushing waves to the shore, and the music from the party from afar.

"Why do you always find me here?" he asked to break the ice.

I was rather confused by his question. I stared at him but his eyes remained in to the unknown.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I sipped the last drop of my cocktail.

"You always find me here in my enervated state. Where I could only do nothing but stare at the stars and heave a sigh, sappy and all shit," he said and softly laugh.

I understand him. I always get to see him when he's in this kind of state. I may never know the reason but I know something that's for sure. There's a reason why I always see this. I can see his soft and weak side that everyone doesn't know about. All I can say is that, I am privileged to see these than the others.

"Why? Is it bad?" I asked him. This time he looked at me and I was stupefied by the way he stared at me. Full of emotions.

"Are you even willing to know the reason behind this?"

"If you're willing to tell me then I am willing to listen," I answered and that made him smile. A smile that you can be rest assured of. A smile that indicates that he trusted you more than anyone else.

What did I even do to deserve that smile and that trust from him?

"I don't know but maybe it'll help," he said. "I have this one true love. She's my first love, actually and it will always be her," he started. My smile suddenly faded and my heart ached for no reason. I unknowingly rubbed my chest off to ease the pain, hoping it will help.

"She's my inspiration and my reason to pursue law. She's always been adamant about it. Before, I would just ignore her everytime she talked about it. But after she died, I just woke up and realized that I will pursue law the way she wants me to," he said and my heart ached even more.

"I'm sorry about it," I said. He shrugged and smiled.

The smile that hides the pain inside.

"It's fine now. I've moved on but she will always be in my heart."

"What's her name?"

"Lillian, she's my mom," he proudly answered me. This time, I intently stared at him while he stared back. His eyes hides the most pain that he could ever handle.

I just stared at him when suddenly his bag of tears broke and flowed endlessly. He seemed really hurt and he seemed to be keeping this pain inside for too long. I went closer and hugged him and gently patted his back.

Who would believe that the bad boy that everyone sees have such vulnerability. Everyone see him in his strongest while I see him in his weakest state.

I remained hugging him while he continues to sob silently. Not all men can be this weak. This just shows how precious his mom is to him. She's his role model, an inspiration and she's his reason that he wanted to pursue law even though he doesn't want to.

I looked up the sky to prevent the tear from flowing. I sighed and said, "Lillian, wherever you are. Watch over Travis and be proud of him."

Travis broke the hug and looked at me. He smiled and wiped his tears away. His eyes looked so sad.

"Why are you so kind to me? I did nothing but insult you," he commented.

I squished his cheeks and he seemed shocked by my gesture. I just laughed at him and said, "Because you're a soft grown-up man."

I laughed at him while he just stared at me with the galaxy above us reflecting in his eyes. I stopped laughing and stared back at him. I can feel the heavy tension between us. It's not alarming me but rather made my heart beats so fast.

I stared directly in his eyes the way he stares directly at me. To his perfect eyebrows, down to his pointed nose and to his pink, kissable lips. I was tempted and I can't get my sight off his lips. I gulped and tried to look away but he held my chin and made me face him.

I almost jumped in surprise and my eyes widened when his face was just inches away from mine. I can feel his lips and can smell his minty scent. Until I just unknowingly closed my eyes when his lips touched mine.

No one dared to move, this isn't the first time that we kissed. But this time, it felt different. It was so full of emotions, I can feel the tension and the fire burning inside him. He caressed my cheeks and started moving his lips. His kisses were soft, as if letting me know how he feels, asking me to give in. And, I kissed him back.

We continued kissing, not minding our awkward positions. We just kissed, not minding the noise from the party. All we have in mind is us right now. Us under the sky full of stars, us sitting at the sand while listening to the sound of the waves hitting the shore and our breaths.

He let go of my lips and rested his forehead to mine while looking intently at me. And to my surprise, I found myself smiling and heating up. He was flustered but in the end, he couldn't help but smile. And for the first time, I saw him smile genuinely. And I couldn't ask for more from him.

"Thank you," he uttered then closed his eyes. I can really feel the burden of surviving the storm that's brewing inside of him. He just need someone to talk about it, at least lessen the pain.

"You can always find me," I just replied.