Chapter 15

I was sitting at the dinner table with my dad at one end and me on the other. I was reading one of my books. Then I looked up I saw dad had his plate and mug Empty. "I'll take your plate". I said in a soft casual voice. "Thanks sweetie". he said. He was dressed in his old white t-shirt. Along with navy blue shorts that he usually wore to bed. I rinsed the cup and plate and dried them and put them back.

"how am I going to rebuild my new life and eyes if I can't do anything good?". I thought.

I knew it was time to change who I was. I couldn't change the painful memories of my past in my mind. It's not like I can just get rid of them. It takes more than just forgetting to move on. I once had a view of life long ago when I was a child. I always thought I was in a movie with an audience watching my story go by. I though the world was a happy place. Carefree and everyone was nice. And that life existed forever. I never cared what people thought of me. I didn't even care about myself.

I was just happy to live the life I was living.

but when nanny died, took life for granted treated a late friend like garbage. and then moving to schools, getting bullied, made wrong choices. Bit a student. getting yelled at by mum. My parents arguing. Getting hurt millions of times. my hometown was on fire.

Then coronavirus. got chased by a group of angry teenagers. Parents broke up. Went to high school. Became Lonley. Turned negitive. signed up for a few mainstream classes outside highschool. turned cold towards my dad. Parents got back together. now I'm shattered! I'm not healed and I never will be.

I only look like I've healed is because I've learnt just to not care!

yeah... I've been through alot...