Chapter five

Chapter five

𝟖:𝟓𝟕 𝐚𝐦

𝑶𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒔𝒌𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒚 𝑲𝒂𝒕 𝑪𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈-- The Autobiography of Lola. Chapter 4B

I'm still shaken from seeing Seun, though I should be used to him being around me, still, it's hard. No one can ever be comfortable around his kind, especially not when he has something of mine.

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆, 𝑺𝒆𝒖𝒏?

It has to be... I swallow. Every one of my muscles is tired, even walking proves difficult. It's the fear; circling round and round in my heart, eating me up and crippling me from functioning. It has to be something more up his sleeves.

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂 𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒑𝒔𝒚𝒄𝒉𝒐.

Only a sick psycho will be comfortable while hurting others. He must think he has his fingers wrapped around me, right? But I'll be free, soon.

"What does he mean by something of yours?" Ayo asks.

I say nothing.

Then he continues: "If he hurts you--"

"You don't have to stand up for me. I can handle my own problems."

"Like you handled this?" he looks at me, then shakes his head. "Okay, I know you can take care of yourself... look, I'm curious about what he has over you, that's all."

"Nothing," I wrap my arms around myself as the airy wind envelopes me. "Nothing, okay?"

Ayo observes me again then shrugs. What am I supposed to tell him? Tell him Seun probably has a perfect plan to ruin the little reputation I have left? If I do, it'd make him believe there's a chance to be friends and I'm not the type to give chances to people.

𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔, 𝑨𝒚𝒐.

I have no idea where I'm headed to. The only places I always visited were Cups and Saucer, (which was where I used to work and I resigned yesterday) the park and Taylor's salon.

The Park is about a ten-minute walk from cups and saucer, it's somewhere I've always loved going when things spiral out of control. It's a quiet haven and only a few people visited during the day. In the evenings, it's the best spot to take pictures.

We pass Taylor's salon and my chest stutters. She's the other friend I actually had apart from Kim, and some weeks ago, it was all over the news: "Stone Valley Salon Owner Fatally Shot At Her Shop."

My lips tremble.

Sometimes, I wonder if Taylor never tried so hard to protect her younger, would she be here? If she had just kept her distance from him, she would here. But I won't blame her; apart from the fact that I got my blunt from him too, she did what she had to do.

Plus if her brother never got tangled up in this dirty business, she'd be alive. Taylor deserves more.

We walk by cups and saucers too and through the clean windows, I spot Sarah taking orders from customers. As if she feels my eyes on her, she lifts her head, and her gaze meets mine. The corners of her mouth curls as she mouths something I don't catch.

Sarah doesn't blink. I stare back too, my nose flaring with every intake of breath.

She's wearing a red, short sleeve shirt and a black, skater skirt. It's the uniform and it looks too good on her.

I'll never get over the sneer plastered on Sarah's face when she found out I was resigning. It wasn't something to be ashamed of, right? I mean the manager made a few complaints about my lack of focus, always sleeping on duty, and my unfriendly attitude towards customers. So, why did Sarah make it a big deal? I left the job, the manager didn't fire me.

"Is there anything you can keep?" She made that cheeky remark when she suspected Seun and I were done. She'd seen us together a few times and has the hots for him. And when she found out we broke up, she rejoiced. The same way she was happy when I told the manager I was done.

Sarah still has that plastic smile on her face, the one she gives people when she thinks they are below her. For a moment, she skims through the menu, replies to the customer then fixes me an icy stare.

My nerves simmer with anger as my breath quickens. Everything she said to me comes rushing back, blinding me in a fit of rage. If I can't stand up to Seun then I should be able to tell Sarah she's shitty.

I push the door. The bell tinkles as I step in. Ayo protests when the door hits him but I don't look back. With my eyes fixed on Sarah, my legs vibrate. A man sitting a few steps from the door, flipping through the newspaper looks up at me then returns to his paper.

Sarah holds my gaze for a second. Her smirk fades a little and she peers over the counter like she's expecting someone.

"Keep going," I mutter.

Sarah's face is pale. She knows something is about to go down. It's all over my face. At a stupid attempt to look confident, she straightens her back and squares her shoulder then struts towards the counter. I follow.

"Hey... loser." Sarah makes her voice extra perky. "Come to take your job back?"

She's annoying. I don't know why she hates me this much. She's nineteen, has a perfect, slim, curvy body with jet-black hair that gives a snow-white vibe. So why does she hate me? I'm nothing. I'm only a shadow of myself. I'm Drab.

"You're stupid," that's the first thing that comes from my mouth. I feel a presence behind me. It has to be Ayo. Sarah's jaw drops and I know it hits her, but she recovers quickly.

"I have no time for this," she chuckles, steps away from me then walks.

"Coward!"

Sarah turns, her eyes flashing with anger. "Excuse me? Coming from a loser who cries every single time. You're nothing!"

Tears sting my eyes. Don't back down, Lola. Set things right. "Your mother hates you-u"

I know this because I stalked Sarah one time; followed her to beat her up after work. Turns out her life is far from perfection too. A dirty, drunk mother who screams in her face for no reason is just enough to make anyone frustrated.

"Lola-a," Ayo almost touches me but I raise my hand.

"Don't, Ayo," I shout, and the old man flipping the newspaper looks up again. A young couple by the counter flips their gaze at us too. "Just because your life is horrible doesn't mean you should take it out on people. Sarah, you're mean and terrible."

I breathe through my mouth. Sarah looks at everyone but me. Without waiting for a reply, I leave Cups and Saucers.

𝟗:𝟎𝟕 𝐚𝐦

𝑺𝒌𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒔-- 𝒀𝒆𝒂𝒉 𝒀𝒆𝒂𝒉 𝒀𝒆𝒂𝒉𝒔/ The Autobiography of Lola. Chapter 5.

The air smells of exhaust and coffee when I step out of Cups and Saucers. I shove the earpiece into my ears and let Demons by Imagine Dragons float into my ears.

The beat blends with the explosion in my brain... the good explosion... the sort that says I'm not totally a pushover. I may fear Seun and let him get away with things, but I won't let others trample on me.

When I'm gone, Sarah will remember this day and tell people, "She checked me before killing herself." This is a good feeling...

I can't help the grin curling up the sides of my lips or the warmth spreading through my chest. I should've done this a long time ago, even before planning this day. But it doesn't matter how long it took me to stand up to her, I finally did and it's all thanks to Ayo. Speaking of Ayo, I turn to find him standing at the door of Cups and Saucers staring at me with a frown on his face.

He's mad at me, I can tell. "Don't give me that look, Ayo," I mutter and continue down the road.

He's the reason I walked up to Sarah in the first place, so why would he be mad?

You trust someone enough to listen to their advice and do what they think is right, and this is what you get. As if frowning isn't bad enough, he's gone back in there. Maybe to talk, to hear her side of the story. I'm the bad guy.

I'm so bad for standing up to that girl after months of bullying and ignoring her snide remarks. Just one time I paid someone back in their coin and someone thinks I'm bad? 𝑺𝒎𝒉, 𝑨𝒚𝒐. 𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖.

Whatever he thinks about me is his problem. Not mine. I'll be out of the way tonight and they've got a lot of time to catch up on what's true and the lies about me. 𝑯𝒖𝒎𝒑𝒉! Why am I even thinking about who he talks to? Doesn't matter... nothing else matters anymore.

I live for today, live for the moment because after this there's only one thing waiting for me. So, yeah, I'm allowed to say those things to Sarah. Ayo can't decide for me because there's a certain level of bond you form with someone to be able to tell them what not to do.

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆.

He slipped away, just like Kim, just like my father, and with mom, she didn't hate me out of the blues. It was a slow process. Each second morphed into minutes and hours and days and months until her love for me vanished!

My phone takes that moment to vibrate in my pocket, interrupting my thoughts. I unlock it thinking it's a message from mom, but when I press read, my breath twitches on seeing it's a text from Seun. 'Remember the other picture? Don't try me,' the message says.

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑰 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝑺𝒆𝒖𝒏? I want to reply, but my hands are shaky again as my heart pounds so hard against my ribcage like it'll burst out any moment.

I clench my lips together, hoping it will stop the eruption of emotion that is about to be let free from within, but the exploding bout of emotions which pumps turbulently through my heart, and the heaviness in my throat says otherwise. Without a doubt, I have always known he had plenty of pictures all along; some of it was in my locker this morning.

More tears blur my vision as I stumble forward and try to breathe. Seun will never stop. He'll keep doing this and even after my death, he will win.

I shove my phone into my pocket and shuffle past a flower shop as—Airplanes by B.o.B—the next song on my playlist reverberates through my eardrums.

But I can't focus on anything except Seun's evil, taunting voice and the menacing smile that must be curling around his lips right now. I can't stop myself from seeing my mom's cold eyes too neither can I stop Kim's annoying laughter from ringing through my ears. Didn't she watch Seun say all those things and she still got together with him? She was supposed to be my friend... I thought she was. My lips tremble as I wrap my fingers around my puffed-up hair over and over, but even that constant action doesn't stop these drowning thoughts.

I can't stop anything—

Out of nowhere, someone pulls my backpack, sending me to the ground, and then I see her face hovering above me. Her bright green eyes widen as her lips move. She looks like an angel. All she'd only need is a halo on top of her head and wings on her back and she'll pass as one.

I remove the earpieces from my ears, drying the tears on my cheeks, and swallow hard.

"Are you okay? Oh, no. That car could have killed you!" She says. Her high pitched voice perfectly fits her petite stature. "You weren't looking!"

She helps me up but my eyes can't focus on one thing, not when people are staring at me like I dropped from heaven or something.

"The driver didn't stop," she puts a strand of her platinum hair behind her ear. "You really shouldn't listen to songs while crossing."

"What happened?" a familiar voice interrupts but I'm too shaken to turn around to face him. I know who it belongs to.

"She's your friend?" The girl with platinum hair asks.

"Yes, she's with me." Ayo answers. He holds my shoulders and I flinch away from his touch not caring if the girl notices.

"Alright," she smiles at me. "Take care."

And with that, she leaves.