chapter 2

It's been a whole week since that famous call, whenever he sends me a text message I ignore him, he stopped bullying me, but not his friends obviously, he always asks me when I want us to do the project, but I don't want to have anything to do with him, so I called him and told him that I will be doing my part in the library this weekend and he can handle his own part if he is so interested in having a good mark, I had the idea of the library because I know that he will never dare to go in there, he's always calling me the nerd, so I guess I had my point in there; I thought after I hang up, not leaving him the chance to say a word.

Sunday morning I woke up early, and went to my favorite place; it was completely empty, I took some books before sitting on my desk, in front of the window, the moment I opened up my laptop I heard footsteps, I didn't pay much attention, I thought someone came here to study as well, till he said hello, I froze, Neill was standing here; right in front of me, with his shining smile, I couldn't say anything, he sat there took a pen and said, let's do it together, I opened my mouth, and I heard myself saying: why are you doing this? he smiled and respond " because I can ", I couldn't think straight, I packed my things and went away from the guy who bullied me, who's smile and gazes haunting my mind.

I was confused, why is he becoming that nice with me but then arrogant at the same time? And my heart keeps racing every time he is around, I never told this to anyone; but I like him, they say that love never asks stupid questions, but why do we always fall in love with people who hurt us the most? I took a quick shower, and went out for a walk, as I always do every time life is so hard for me to handle, you can tell me that I do escape my responsibilities, but you don't know me, and no one will ever do. That's what I thought until my husband shows up.

To my way back home, I saw him, why I keep running into him since the first day our eyes met, it took me a lifetime, to get that he was kissing a girl, his hands were all over her body, my heart skipped a bit for the second time today, it hurts, I wanted to disappear before he saw me, too late, he looked at me, smiled and pull that girl beside him, I ignored him and passed by, it hurt more and more, I never cry in public, however that day, I felt my hot tears in my cheeks, I sat in the floor hide my face and cried as hard as I could, I just needed to let the pain aaago, but it never did, that night was a nightmare, I felt sick if only I was braver to talk about this to someone, but I just can't, so I let the pain go through me, all my body hurt, I slept till 6 am. Mom woke me up at 9, I was exhausted, she told me that someone comes to visit me, that's so unusual, I never had any friends coming over my place, I went downstairs, still in my pajamas, I just need a cup of coffee, my headache was getting worse and I hated medicine, the first thing I saw was that hideous smile in his face, I run to the bathroom to throw up, I couldn't stand him around anymore, I sent a text to my mother so she can ask him to go away, but instead, she came and when she saw the bad shape I was in, she let me go back to my bed, I heard her apologizing in a small voice, I felt bad for her, I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, but I can't either stay with him or tell her anything, a few minutes later she knocked at my door telling me that " our guest " is gone and if I wanted to eat something, but I just wanted to sleep and stop thinking about him.

I slept all day, every time I check my phone I read his text saying " hope you are okay, I'm sorry for everything " I throw my phone against the wall in anger and exhaustion, what do u expect for me to do to send him a heart and it's okay, go to hell !! Because actually, that's what I sent to him before hearing the break of my phone's lock screen,.

The next day, I went to school, it was a rainy morning, I hated that weather even though it makes me clear my thoughts and I love the warmth of my jacket on, on my way, I saw a girl who was singing out loud one of my favorite songs, she made my day, to be honest, I laughed and she smiled back, we became friends after then, I couldn't stop myself and I told her about Neil, about how miserable I feel whenever he is around or not, she understood me so well, I loved how simple and easy going she was, her name's Salomy, and even after 15 years, we still meet and have dinner together, I will never thank her for every piece of advice she gave me all this hard period I was going through. The moment I stepped into my classroom I found myself looking for him, he wasn't there yet, I don't know how to behave anymore.

I kept stressing up all day, but he has never shown up, for the first time, I felt lonely even with my friends, I tried to get my mind off him, but I couldn't; even though it wasn't the first time, he wouldn't come to school, I had that bad intuition that something is going wrong, at 6 pm I literally run to the extra classes, I was sure to find him there, but now I wish I didn't go, I saw him laying on the floor, his bleeding face and bruises all over his arms through his cut jacket, he had a fight, that's why he didn't come, but why is he laying in here, I totally forgot to call the ambulance, I pull out my phone from my jean's pocket, and tried to call it but he stopped me, and whispers " please don't do it, just help me " ...