chapter 3

I never thought I will ever be in this kind of situations , taking my beaten up crush over to my place , into my room , and go reach some medicine from our pharmacy , I couldn't think twice of what I'm doing , or of the reason why I was doing this , my heart was aching seeing him that way , I let him sit in my bed , while I was applying alcohol on his bruises , he kept looking straight in my eyes which I was avoiding , my heart was racing , that hard all my senses were completely lost , then he took my hand and said " thank you" I couldn't do it anymore , I sat down and made that eye contact I have always been afraid of , and for the first time , I saw how handsome he was , and how his eyes were going through me , I felt naked in front of him , he smiled , my tears roll in my cheeks , he touched my cheek and whispers "close your eyes", I closed them and waited for some miracle to happen and what I felt like a life time I felt his lips against my cheeks I opened my eyes and kissed him , his lips were soft and sweet , now I understand that feeling they keep describe in books ; those butterflies in my stomach were making me crazy , and then once I felt his hands in my waist I stopped , the picture of him kissing that girl in the street keep showing of in my mind , he looked at me with those questioning eyes , I couldn't do this , he is a bad boy , he have to get out of here , and like he read my mind , he got up and left me there .

I spent that whole evening, thinking about what just has happened with him, I convinced myself, that he was only playing around, as he always does, but I felt like that kiss that the only touch of his lips was asking for help and begging me for mercy? I couldn't get it, I send him a message asking him to meet tomorrow after school to talk, I can't keep avoiding him nor my feelings, I needed to understand.

The next morning, I was late for school, I overslept dreaming of his gaze, his smell, and his touch, I was so excited but then so scared to see him, as I first step into the classroom, he saw me, and ignored my entrance, I was happy, I couldn't focus in any of the classes, I was looking forward to having a serious talk with him, as the loud ring announced the end of classes, I went out and waited for him to come, but he never did, instead he sent a message and all he said was an " I can't", what was I expecting? that he come and kiss me in front of his best friends, and come out to them? tomorrow was the valentine, why do I have the stupid idea to make chocolate and love letter, as I always wanted to do, I called Salomy and Douae over to my place , Douae was a good cook, and Sal was a complete writer, it will be awesome, my mother wasn't home today , I forgot to tell you, that I was a unique child , and I'm only living with my mother, my dad left us 5 years ago due to his alcoholic problems that either I or my mom could ever handle. But I never get why did he never come back, he never had sent me a card for my birthday or even a letter, doesn't he love me anymore, I kept wondering, about his way of living without us, without a family, did he got a job or is he homeless? and whenever I dare to ask my mother, she turns me down, she keeps saying, that it was his choice to leave and he was refusing to get any help.

I miss him, I wish he was there, so I can tell him, he was so open-minded, and he liked to keep me company, in holidays and he was the one who thought me all the knowledge I have now . while I was daydreaming I smelt something burning, I just left my chocolate burn in the oven, I heard the laugh of the girls, I couldn't help it's so contagious, Douae decided to help me this time and watch out to not get the house burned this time.

by the end of the day, my chocolate is done and letter perfectly was written, I suggested to the girls to stay over but they refused to stay, I was scared of his reaction, of the gaze of his touch, I just want him to be mine in all ways and forms, I know how much that path will be difficult, but what life thought me and my mother experience, is that we fight for things we know that they are worth, and I believe that he is.

That morning I had a fever, I cursed my bad luck, I was so excited to meet him, I was left alone, with my head which is near to explosion, all my body was aching, I kept watching TV, till I heard a knock in the door, my jaw dropped when I saw that hot guy I like; smiling caring a bag of medicine in his hand, " I heard you were dying and I came to check out on you " he said, I let him in, my cheeks became red more than ever, I felt myself faint, his arms surrounded me, he takes me upstairs to my room, kisses my forehead and left " stay pleased" I begged, he smiled and told me to sleep, I felt so much better, is it because of his presence? I never expected it from him, I was happy. he prepares me hot soup and feeds me, I was thrilled but then confused, I finished my plate and told him that we should talk, he brings his finger to my mouth, and whispered; not now pumpkin, we will talk once you get better, my heart was racing so hard all my body was shaking under the blankets, he noticed it, and take another cover from my closet and cover me, he was so adorable I wanted to hug him so tight and thank him, however, my body was too lazy and weak to even get up, but I promised myself to do so after I get well. He stayed all night taking care of me, I was falling in love with that mysterious guy, what he was doing In here anyway? I kept wondering all night.