Burning Everything Down to Hell

[ STEFANO ]

Morning came straight to my face.

I woke up from my sleep on the couch, still hazy and having just a pinch of last night. I totally forgot how I ended up being here but as I saw the bottle of wines fully emptied on a table inches away from me, I know what happened last night was another moment John and I spent preciously as father and son.

I stood up from it and walked to the showers room. At a glance, I saw my son sleeping at the balcony by himself. Fed up, looking sad and wasted. I cannot remember how he ended up there but all I remembered was the last thing he told me as we were talking drunk at 2:00 am: "Dad, I just want to have something that would make me feel like I can do great. I'm tired of being alone; of everyone leaving me alone. I always feel like if mom did not leave, I won't be searching for something so fucked up... like love. I could have learned to let Becca go."

That hit me different. But it's true. If Hayley only stayed being with me, being with us; I would have been a great father. I would have been a better person. John Bryan would not have anxiety.

Poor son, his heart might be really broken.

My head is still quite in hangover but I am scheduled to come to work early today so I can finish some pending workload and anecdotal reports. I kept going and did my routine - took a bath, got my hair gelled up, my teeth brushed, and my armpits done with some antiperspirant.

John waking up at the balcony will be fine.

After I went out of the grooming room, I wore my uniform and grabbed my coat, and started driving off to work.

***

[ GINA ]

"Gina?"

A loud call and knock from my door was heard at 9AM. I know it was Becca. She never texted me like how I told her but it's fine. I'm ready for whatever she's up to.

I sighed heavily for I know this is it. We are now doing this. We are about to abort her baby.

I sighed deeply thinking about what we're about to face. I always feel like this is a crime but knowing what happened and how it happened, I totally agree with her that this is the best thing to do.

I went to her and yanked the door open.

"Hi, Gina. Let's go?"

Becca looks tired, as though she stayed up all night after our conversation earlier this day at 3AM. I hate seeing her like this. She always seeks to feel strong, like she's stable and capable of withstanding everything that's happening in her life. Deep inside, she's struggling and it shows.

"Did you eat? Let's have breakfast first." I told her first before anything else.

"Umh, no. I just had breakfast. I am fine. Thank you."

I can tell she's lying. She can't look straight directly into my eyes.

"Good, then. But I bet you want something to drink or someth--"

"Gina. Let's just go, okay? I don't need anything from you."

Those words ringed in my ear like a trigger warning. I froze when she interrupted me from helping her suit herself. The way she said it felt like a tension in her utterance. I gulped.

"Umh--Yeah, yeah. Totally. I was just... (sighs) never mind. Anyway, let's keep going."

I stepped out of the door and grabbed the keys on my pocket to lock my apartment. Becca just walk past me to her car. She seems pretty nervous about this. Contrary to that confidence she had on the phone a while ago.

***

[ BRYAN ]

I woke up at the balcony, feeling dizzy. Everything seems like a picture quite moving and it seems like I spun over and over 'til I passed out.

I'm having a hangover.

I lift my body up and started getting myself together. My mind still hangs but my legs are working fine so, I bet everything's okay with me. I tried to lift my arms up and did some stretching. I am focusing, almost meditating when I remembered flashes of what dad and I talked about at 2am. That night was full of emotions when dad and I talked about stuff. My relationship with Becca, and her relationship with mom. That was the very first time he opened about her that deep and how they became lovers in the past. It was a cup full of experiences. Mostly, adult stuff and of course, love and ruined relationships.

As it brought me back to my senses, I stood up and get myself some coffee to cure my dizziness. I still have this feeling etched in my heart some time ago. Deep inside, Becca, she's still in my mind. I can't forget how things went at The Parfait yesterday. That will probably haunt me for weeks but right now, I'm feeling okay. I feel more relieved than yesterday yet, one thing's for sure; I cannot go to The Parfait alone. That embarrassment will haunt me, even after a year I think.

My mind keeps freezing in that moment when I knelt down and Becca said no. A living nightmare scarring my whole life. Rebecca Tyler, you broke my heart this bad.

Today I have nothing to do in mind. I will just play random video games and just eat anything I could. I don't feel like going outside. I just want to stay home and have more sleep. I need to stay unconscious so the world can be silent. My mind can be silent.

After I made my coffee, I sat on the sofa near the balcony and just, relaxed myself. The morning is so nice; I cannot think of anything worse. Not Becca. Not The Parfait. Not the public humiliation.

I looked around the second floor Sala and upon my gaze, my eyes were distracted by the room of my dad meters away from me; it was left opened. I can see through its sill, and it was quite a first time experience for me as an adult. I never entered my dad's room for a very long time now. I do remember sleeping over with him way back when I was a kid. When I have nightmares, I will just knock on his room and everything will be fine again.

I missed those times. Everything seemed fine before all of this happened. My dad is everything that I have right now and I cannot have anyone else more than him. Thinking about it, I smiled. You know when your childhood is right in front of you, it feels amazing. Like you're about to open a gift. A nostalgic feeling.

Without my eyes looking elsewhere, I tread my steps towards my dad's room. I held the door ajar, and entered my head first.

I saw how it changed a lot now compared when I was a kid. It made my eyes wander into his room and there were Avengers in every step here. From his curtain, to his bed sheets. All it entails is his favorite movie of all time. I opened the door fully and entered it wholly. I never meant to barge in but he didn't lock it so, it's not my fault.

I sat on his bed as I suited myself inside his room. I looked at the documents on his table and should I say, he's totally doing work just fine. This is a shit ton of piles of documents and anecdotal reports. I'm proud of how hardworking my father is.

Interrupting it there, I stood up and opened his closet, too. It was a nice Acacia wood furniture and it looks sturdy. His clothes were all dashing. I want one of these, too.

I continued skimming through some of his clothes inside it despite feeling amazed - you know, it will be embarrassing for him if I will see a Captain America costume, or worse, The Incredible Hulk behind these. I will mock him if I do.

I skirted and looked at each and found nothing of what I imagined. Him being an Avenger's fan, I did not expect to have not found anything.

I was just looking at his closet when I saw a box right at the bottom of his clothes. It was a red and gold box with an interesting Asian design, placed on the most bottom part of the rack. What captivated my eye was the gold colored cornice on its upper chest opening. It's quite huge, in a sense a notebook or post card can fit inside it. Plus, there were Chinese carvings embossed. I can't understand Chinese even I was collecting them before.

I thought, if I were still on it today, this could resemble my Chinese sword collection. I would definitely ask dad for him to give me this.

I opened the box in my curiosity. The box is very antique, looking all unique and very epic. Opening it, I saw a turned over collection of photographs that I have no idea what were they.

I flipped them over and what I saw made me sick to my stomach -- picture of naked girls, unconscious and… the background was… ON HIS CAR! My hands were quivering after seeing the first picture. There were plenty of them; My curiosity piled up as I sensed a caution. Does this mean that my dad actually had sex with them? This cannot be real. Some of these girls are minors!

I started browsing the remaining pictures despite the nausea, and I noticed that there were uncannily, similar set up with the first few pictures I saw. The girls were all at unconscious state, naked on the passenger's seat of his car. They were all blonde plus, they have the same positions: their hands were at their backs like they were tied and their mouth were all wide open.

I continued browsing until the last photo made me quiver -- it was Rebecca.