Chapter 11 - "Is this enough reason?"

3 days left before Sakusa's match and I'm super excited. His practice is already over and I'm waiting for him outside the gym, enjoying the orange sky.

"Oi germ! Let's go?" He called. I turned to him and smiled as I nod. We started to walk home together.

"Hey, Saku-chan?" I called.

"Hm?" He replied.

I gave out a sigh before continuing. "What if we met in a different way? Will you still love me?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes and flick my forehead. "Ouch!" I reacted.

"You felt that?" He asked.

"Of course! What? Do you think I'm numb or something?" I protested.

"Then, that's your answer." He said as he walked past me. I was left in confusion.

I walked towards him matching his pace. "What? I don't get it." I asked.

"You felt my touch didn't you? Do you think I can touch other girls comfortably like that without any disgust?" He asked.

"No?" I replied.

"Then, that's your answer. I can never find someone like you." He replied. I felt my heart beating fast as my cheeks felt hot.

The whole walk was quiet until we walked passed the park. I suggested that we go there before I walk him home. We saw a crying boy by the swing. He's about the age of 5 or 6 years old. I walked his direction and approached him.

I squatted to match his height. "Hey baby boy? Is there something wrong?" I asked.

He pushed me causing me to fall down the grown.

"Oi!" Sakusa shouted at the kid while rasing hid brow. I glared at Sakusa to stop scaring the boy.

"Hey, it's okay. Tell me what happened. I'll help you." I approached him again.

He looked at me, contemplating whether I could help him or not. "You can't help me. Go away! You can't bring my parents back."

My eyes widen hearing those words coming from his mouth. My own body moves to it's own accord and hugged him. "You can cry your heart out. I'll be here." I said as I caress his back.

He cried for a while until he pushed me. "Let go! I'm okay now." He said. I patted his head.

"You feel better?" I asked.

"Yeah." He replied. I looked at Sakusa and mouthed the words 'He's cute! Can we keep him?'. He just glared at me so, I just giggled.

"Where do you live?" I asked.

"Orphanage..." He whispered. I felt bad sending him back while he's still sad so I had an idea.

"Hey, wanna play with us?" I grinned. "Let's play with that man over there." I pointed to Sakusa. "He may seem unapproachable but, he's actually kind." I assured him. The boy nodded and I just smiled.

"Oi! Saku-chan! This boy, we'll make him happy okay?" I smiled at him. I know he can't resist my bright smile. He just rolled his eyes.

"Just don't let him touch me." He replied.

We played for an hour and a half but, Sakusa just sat on the swing watching us. 'He's such a kill joy.' I thought.

"Hey..." The boy called out. "My name is... Riku."

I smiled at him. "Riku, huh? That's a nice name. It means wise sky." I patted his head.

"Can I call you 'mama'? You're just like my mom." My eyes watered. 'Wahh! Kami-sama, you're giving me my own son at a very young age! You're very nice!' I thanked the Gods in my thoughts.

"I'd love that! But you have to call that guy over there 'papa' , okay? " I said as I pointed at Sakusa.

"But, he's really scary. He's not like my father." The boy argued.

"He's a good person. He's just sad just like you. You see that man over there lost his mom and he likes looking at the sky. Be his sky okay? Like what your name suggest okay?" I said as I smiled at him, messing his hair.

"Why can't you just be his sky?" He asked.

"Because someday the sun may not shine anymore and the moon may disappear but, the sky will always stay." I giggled before carrying him in my arms. We walked toward Sakusa.

"Why are you carrying that human germ?" Sakusa asked. I glared at him.

"See! I can never call him 'papa', mama." Riku shouted.

"Mama? Pft" Sakusa teased. "And I could never have a son as dirty as you."

"Hmp!" Riku grunts as he turned his back to Sakusa and hugged me, placing his head on shoulder.

I glared at Sakusa. "Why do you have to do that?" I asked.

"Tch" I heard him. He didn't even answer me instead he took his disinfectant and sprayed it over the kid. Riku coughed.

"Saku-chan!!" I shouted.

"What? Get away from my girlfriend, you germ! You'll contaminate her." He said. I don't know what to feel. 'I don't know if he's jealous over a kid or he just doesn't want any other human to touch me.' I thought as I giggled in my head.

"If you hate the kid touching me that much, carry him then." I suggested.

"No! Don't give me to him mama!" Riku shouted.

"Me? Carry a human germ? No." He replied.

'These two, ugh you're making my head hurt. I think this guy will never have kids in the future.' I thought as I patted Riku's head who's currently in my arms.

Sakusa just glared at me. "Let's go. We need to go home and Riku also needs to go home." I said as I started walking.

"Give him to me." He said as he tried to open his arms with disgust. I just gave out a soft laugh before giving him Riku.

We walked together to the orphanage. When I turned to look at Riku, he's fast asleep on Sakusa's shoulder. 'They look cute together.' I thought. I took my phone out and take a selfie with them without Sakusa knowing.

We reached the orphanage after minutes.

"Riku!" The caretaker shouted "I'm so glad you guys found him!" The caretaker shakes my hand.

"Ah, we just found him in the park. He's a good boy." I said. I turned to Sakusa who have the child in his embrace. I smiled before patting Riku causing him to wake up.

"Hey Riku.. It's tike to go home now." I smiled at him. He turned to his surroundings and saw that his back at the orphanage again. His eyes widen as his eyes started to water.

"I don't want to be here. Can't I just come with you mama?" He begged as tears came streaming down his face.

"I'm sorry. I'll come visit you soon okay?" I took him from Sakusa's embrace and put him down. I wiped his tears and reached out my pinky for a pinky promise. "I'll visit you again okay? And if I didn't this guys right here..." I pointed to Sakusa. "He'll visit you, okay?" I assured him.

He nodded and made a pinky promise.

"Oi chibi germ! Call me papa next time. I'll teach you cleanliness when I come back." Sakusa assured the kid before turning his back and started to walk away.

A feint smile form on my face. 'He's changing.' I thought as I stood up and waved my hand to Riku. Riku waved back and I walked away.

"Hey! Saku-chan, I didn't know you also have this soft side." I teased.

"Shut up, germ!" He grunts as I laughed at him. 'I hope to see this side of yours more Saku-chan' I said in my thoughts.

"You just called me your girlfriend a while ago! Call me that again please!" I pouted.

"No." He replied.

We walked home together and it was one of my favorite moments with him.

~~~

Liliana P.O.V.

Today is Sakusa's game. I wanted to watch but I need my heart to heal and to do that I should train myself not to admire him. 'This is the first step.' I thought.

I'm here at the hospital visiting my grandmother. She's been confined here today. I volunteered to take care of her so, here I am.

I walked to the desk and asked for my grandmother's room. I walked towards to the said room when, someone caught my attention. She looked like she's in the middle of an argument. '(y/n)?' I thought. 'What is she doing here? Isn't she suppose to be watching Sakusa's match right now?' I added.

I moved closer to check what's the commotion about.

"Let me go mom!" She shouted.

"You can't! Not with that condition!" The woman shouted which I think is her mom. A man on the other hand is blocking her way. I hid behind a wall and listened to their conversation.

"Ma.. Let me go! I need to be there. I'm all he have!" She shouted.

"Can't you just let it pass? Once you've been cured you can go to his match as much as you can!" Her mother shouted.

"That's right, honey. Listen to your mom." Her dad assured as he tried to touch his daughter's hand.

"And when will that be, huh? When I die?" She shouted. "I've been living in this hospital for my whole life. I've been going through many operations. Did I get cured mom? Dad?" She argued. '(y/n)'s sick? But she told me the doctors said that she's okay now.' I thought.

"Ack!" She shouted as she touched her head. She seems to be having headache. "Just let me go please mom? I wanted to see him. I wanted to make him happy one last time. Let me be selfish just this once please?" She begged as tears came streaming down her face.

"Honey..." Her mother called out in a soft tone.

"I'll use my last ... for this. Let me go mom." She commanded as she walked past her parents.

'She's sick? No, this can't be. Does Sakusa know this?' I thought. I walked out of the hospital and ran to the gymnasium. 'I better tell him! He needs to know.' I thought.

Sakusa's P.O.V.

5 minutes left and my game will start. I'm looking at the bleachers for her but, shes not here yet. 'Where is she? What's taking her so long?' I thought.

"Guys! Guys! Time for warm up." The coach called. We all walked towards the gym and started to warm up.

The game will start soon and I can't see her anywhere. I looked around the bleachers one more time before I lined up.

The game started. I played my best. We're at point advantage but she isn't here. Whenever I spike the ball or there's a timeout I glance at bleachers looking for any signs of her.

The game finished we won. We won after 3 sets. I made a lot of mistakes, that's why the game took so long. The coach shouted at me for my loss of focus but, I didn't care. All I care about is her.

I excused myself from the team meeting and walked towards the bathroom. I tried to avoid to bump into people passing by as much as possible but, failed. I bumped into Liliana. My brows met.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her. 'So, she's still watching my matches despite being turned down.' I thought.

"Forget about that! We need to talk!" She shouted between pants.

"There's nothing we need to talk—" My sentence was cut off when she said something that made my heart ache.

"(y/n)'s in the hospital. She's sick!" She shouted.

"No, she isn't!" I protested. My mind became a mess. I don't want to believe her. 'No! She's lying.' I thought.

"She can't come here because she's sick." She repeat.

"Shut up, germ!" I shouted. "Stop lying to me." I added. 'Stop lying please...' I thought.

"You can hate me all you want. But here.." She handed me a piece of paper before turning her back. "She's confined in that hospital." She said.

My eyes are starting to water. My mind's a mess. 'What did I do to deserve this? Kami-sama... Just once can't you stop making me feel the same pain over and over again.' I begged in my head.

I looked at the paper one last time before I ran. I kept on bumping to people. I didn't mind. In fact, I don't care anymore. I just want to know that she's safe. That Liliana's lying. 'Please be a lie...' I begged.

'Who cares about germs? If I'm going to lose that one germ I love.' These are the only thoughts I have in my head as I ran towards the crowd bumping into filthy people.

(Y/N)'s P.O.V.

I walked passed my parents. I don't care anymore. My legs and my head aches but, I don't care. I just wanna see him smile again. I just wanna fulfill the debt. I just wanna make him happy one last time.

'Kami-sama, help me please. Let me be selfish one last time. Give me a strength to make him happy one last time.Let me correct my selfishness.' I begged the Gods as I ran outside the hospital wearing a hospital gown. I don't care if people will think I'm crazy, I just wanna see him.

I arrived at the gymnasium panting. I tried to catch my breath but, I saw him. He's running towards my direction. He's bumping into people but, he doesn't mind. "Saku-chan...?" I whispered. I ran to him.

He stopped when he saw me. "Sorry I'm late." I smiled.

"Why?" He asked.

"What do you mean why?" I asked back smiling.

"Why didn't you tell me you're sick?" He asked again as his eyes started to water. 'Stay strong (y/n). You can do this.' I thought to myself.

"Let's talk about this next time, okay? So, how's your match?" I smiled at him. Showing no hint that I'm in pain.

"No! What's there to talk about next time, if we could do it now?" He shouted.

"I loved you Saku-chan." I showed him the most sincere smile I got as I turned my back and look up the sky. My eyes are beginning to water. "But, you can't get too close to the sun, you'll just hurt yourself."

"Are you breaking up with me?" He asked. 'Ahh, I really want to see his expression but, I'm afraid I'll turn fragile in front of him if I do that.' I thought.

"Yes, I'm letting you go now. I'm sorry for being selfish and thank you for making me experience what it's like to have a boyfriend." I said as I started walking.

I felt his hand on my wrist. I halted. "What's so wrong with being selfish!? What's so wrong of thinking that of you own happiness?! What's so wrong about it!!? Tell me (y/n)!!" He shouted. Tears came streaming down my face. 'Ah, second time. This is the second time he called me by my name. I really like it when he calls me by my name.' I thought as I felt my chest throbbing.

I turned to him. "Everything is wrong Saku-chan! I can't be selfish because I don't have that much time! I'll end up hurting you if I do. So, please let me go.. It's for the best. I have no more reason to be selfish. I'm satisfied already." I said although, it's the exact opposite of what I want to tell him. 'I want to scream and shout to let me stay a little bit longer. Let me feel his warmth more but, I can't. I don't want to see him suffering in the end.' I thought.

"Then I'll give you a reason to be selfish. Is this enough...?" He pulled me by my wrist, making me face him. He cupped my face. I felt his warmth on my lips. It's a passionate kiss. It's full of desires. It's a kiss that tell you 'I'll be here so be selfish as long as you want. I'll be okay.'

TO BE CONTINUED.