Chapter 44- How was last night?

He lets out a deep moan and tilts his head back and I'm assuming he's almost at his release. He pulls out and takes the filled condom out and walks out of the room telling me he's coming back now. I look at the blood on his sheets and I cringe and try to move away from it. I try to close my legs together but the area between them hurts as I bring my legs closer together. I wince from the pain and slowly scoot away from the blood.

My mind is still blank as I try to regain myself from the rhapsodic state I was just in. I still can't believe that just happened, it was painful but feeling his body on mine while our eyes stare into each other's souls made the pain ease a bit and it was replaced with an incredible feeling that I can't describe, it's a feeling I've never felt before.

The feeling wasn't just physical it was an emotional feeling that dominated my entire body, I wonder if he felt it too. I'm beyond embarrassed right now, I'm bloody down there while the sheets next to me are too, I'm scared to walk because I'm scared how much it'll hurt and most of all I'm naked on the bed waiting for him to come back in the room, nothing is more embarrassing than this.

I can't believe I just did that. I can't believe we just had sex and I lost my virginity on him. I always thought that my first night would be with Nelson on a tropical island on our honeymoon but it wasn't it was with Hero in his bed.

I met Hero two months ago and we had sex already, I never thought I would give in so fast to him. When I saw him over me I couldn't believe I was having sex with a guy like him, he's the type of guy girls like me stay away from but I had sex with him and it felt so right yet it was so wrong.

Why do I feel this horrible inside? Like I've committed this terrible sin that's gonna haunt me forever. I try not to think about it as so horrible as the way I feel right now and right now I just wanna hug tight and don't let him go.

He was so gentle and slow with me and I need to thank him for that. He tried his best his ease to pain as he kept kissing me all over my face and he hugged me so tight.

Why is he taking so long? He finally returns back after what feels like an hour, grabs a pair of black pants from the drawer and puts it on. I'm ashamed right now as I have no idea what to do. Should I get up and go clean up and change and stuff? Or should I wait for him? Before I have time to make a decision he walks over to me with a small handtowel in his hand.

''Spread your legs'' he says as he makes his way on the bed. He's in front of me with the towel in his hands.

''I can do it for myself'' I tell him.

''You don't have anything to be ashamed of, just let me wipe it's no big deal'' he says and I lower my brows at him.

''I mean it is a big deal what just happened but I just mean that you don't have anything to be ashamed of'' he corrects himself.

I part my legs for him and he slowly makes a swipe and cleans the blood off of me down there. I shudder a bit after the towel touches me but he kisses me softly on the lips after he's done.

''Gosh you are so perfect'' he moans into my mouth as he kisses me again then gets off the bed.

''You're gonna throw that away right?'' I ask.

'' Yeah'' he looks back at me while he exits the room.

''Wait, what about the sheets?'' I ask as he leaves the room.

He comes back in the room and pulls the sheets out displaying the black mattress underneath. He returns back later and heads in the bathroom. Does he realize that I'm still naked? Could he like give me a blanket or something? because I'm freezing from the AC and from embarrassment, I'm pretty sure the goosebumps on my skin are quite prominent.

''Could you give me like your t-shirt or something to sleep in?'' I ask him as he returns from the bathroom.

''Why can't you just sleep like that?'' he gestures to my naked body.

''Because... I..'' I stutter. If I tell him the reason why I don't want to sleep like this I will just feel even more ashamed.

''It'll be much sexier if you sleep like that'' he says and walks to the closet and reaches up and pulls out a blue blanket.

He stands in front of the bed, throws me the blanket and I catch it and cover my upper body with it. He grabs both of my ankles and pulls me down the bed. He takes the heels off, finally, throws them on the floor then he kisses my feet. He moves between my legs and I feel his erection pressed against my exposed one as he slowly pushes me back onto the bed with his body as he kisses me. He gets off of me and lies down at the side of me.

''So I have to sleep naked but you can sleep with your pants on?'' I look at him.

He turns his head to look at me and gives me a smirk before he gets up and pulls his pants down revealing his huge length.

''Better'' he smiles then gets back on the bed.

He unfolds the blanket then covers both of us. He pulls me close to him so my head and arm are now on his chest while his hand around my shoulder is slowly rubbing my head.

''Thank you'' I tell him.

''For what?''

''For being so gentle and slow with me, I really didn't want it to be anyone else'' I tell him and he looks deep into my eyes but his expression is unreadable.

''I wouldn't have wanted it to anyone else either'' he says and covers his mouth with mine.

************

''You know tonight's a full moon'' He says.

''How'd you know that?'' I ask.

''Because I do'' He replies.

''Was I okay?'' I look at him.

''Are you kidding me? you were more than okay, you were amazing'' He tells me while he looks down at me.

''How do you feel?'' He asks.

''Sore, why do people even like this?''

''So you're saying you didn't enjoy it?''

''No I did it was just more painful than it was pleasurable'' I admit.

''It was the first time baby so of course it would be painful but you'll see after we do it every night you'll get used to the pain and it'll become less painful and more pleasurable and you'll see you'll be the one begging me to fuck you'' He says and I hide my face of embarrassment in his chest.

''Sorry baby but it's true'' he says and my stomach flutters as he calls me baby.

Our fingers continue to play thumb war with each other and Hero wins all the times until eventually, I see them starting to get less and less active and when I look up at his eyes they're closed and his head is tilted back onto the pillow with his lips parted slightly and he's asleep. I reach over him and turn the lamp off and the room is now dark, it's pitch black, he should really get a night light in here, I can't see anything and I becoming a little bit frightened.

I cling to Hero even more and wrap my arm around his stomach as I lay my head on his chest. I give him a quick kiss on the cheek then lie back down and stare at his perfect features as my fingers trace the outline of the snake tattoo on his neck for a while before I fall asleep myself.

**************

I wake up expecting to feel Hero's body on mine but it isn't. I turn and look on the other side but he isn't there either. I look around the room from the bed and he isn't there.

Where is he?

I check the time on the alarm clock and it's now 5:30, he never gets up this early.

Where is he? I sit at the edge of the bed and let my legs dangle off the edge for a while before I get up and begin my search for him. I feel so sore down there, it hurts a lot but I try to ignore it and look for him. I call out his name a few times but I haven't heard a response from him and I'm starting to get a bit worried. I get up from the bed and try to ignore the slight pain in my area from last night.

I put on a t-shirt I see on the couch and make my way to the living room. As I make my way closer to the door I hear some murmuring. As soon as I put my hand on the door handle Hero rushes through and looks as if he's shocked to see me.

He's wearing black long pants and a white inner vest, his muscles and abs are so visible through the vest that it makes me hungry for him. He quickly closes back the door behind him then we both just stare at each other, both of us unsure of what to say.

''What were you doing out there?'' I question him.

Why was he out there again?

''Nothing I was just getting something from the car'' he responds the same thing he said last night when I saw him out here.

''Were you talking to someone?''

''No'' he lies.

''But I heard you''

''What did you hear?'' he steps closer to me his eyes now filled with concern.

''I didn't hear the conversation clearly but I heard you talking to someone'' I tell him.

''Okay fine I was on the phone''

''Really? you were on the phone? even if you were why did you have to go all the way out there to talk? Is it something that you don't want me to hear?'' I fold my arms and raise my brows at him.

''No! Fuck! You don't need to fucking know everything!'' He shouts.

''What the hell is wrong with you? Stop shouting, why were you out there?'' I ask.

He stares at me with a dead serious look on his face then walks past me down the hall. I follow him inside wanting to continue this conversation in a more couth way.

''Don't just walk away from me. Why were you out there? I know you were talking to someone. Who was it?'' I run after him. I go past him and block the door leading to his bedroom, I put both of my hands on either side.

He's now inches away from me as I look up at him and he looks down at me. I don't wanna shout or argue with him, I just wanna talk and let him tell me why he was out there and who he was talking to.

''Last night was incredible and I never thought it would be that way or feel like that but it did and I wish it could've lasted forever and I really don't wanna fight with you right now but I was just worried when you weren't with me in bed this morning and it bothers me that you don't trust me and you have to go all the way out there to talk on the phone'' I say calmly.

''I was on the phone with Axe and he wanted to know if I had something in my trunk and I told him that I had to check so I went out to check'' he tells me and I nod and look down. He walks up closer to me and I feel his chest on mine as he cups both of my cheeks in his hands and brings my face up to look at him.

''It's nothing like I don't trust you or anything I do, you know more about me than anyone else does and I trust you more than I trust anyone'' he says and kisses me on the forehead as I put both of my hands on his waist.

He leads me back into the bedroom then to the bed.

''I have to go back now'' I tell him.

''It's now 5:30''

''Actually, it's almost 6'' I correct him.

''Same thing'' he rolls his eyes.

''Well let's just go back and sleep for a little bit and you'll leave later''

''No, I have to go now'' I tell him.

''Alright but we'll eat first'' he says and heads back into the living room.

He sits down on the couch in the living room and turns the tv on. He pulls me to his chest and I sit down with him as he pulls one of my thighs over his.

''I thought you said we were gonna eat'' I remind him.

''Later'' He says.

I get up from the couch and go to the fridge remembering I put my cheesecake there last night. I take it out from the fridge and make my way back on the couch with Hero.

As I take some onto my fork and put bring it to my mouth Hero takes the piece from the fork with his mouth giving me a smile after. I smile back at him and before I know it I just fed him all the cheesecake. I hadn't even realized it until there's no more left to put on the fork to put in his mouth, I only got one piece for myself. I loved it, I love feeding him and watching him chew then swallow, he looked at me a couple of times like I'm crazy but I just love staring at him.

I tell Hero that I gonna get ready to go and he nods then I walk back into the bedroom. I pick up everything on the floor that was tossed there after last night's events then fold his blanket and tidy up the room. I clean up the room and it doesn't look like anyone had sex in here as it did before.

I wanna take a shower because I feel kinda dirty after last night but I don't wanna wash Hero's scent off me.

I just realized that I didn't bring anything to take a shower so I just change back into my dress and shoes, take off the stick-on tattoo on my face which he kissed so many times last night and the hairstreaks. I place everything on the couch wondering what he's gonna do with it. I also fix my make up before I head back out. Hero's eyes are still glued to the tv as I make my way back over to the couch but he looks like he has something on his mind.

''Is everything okay?'' I ask him.

''Yeah'' He says and I don't wanna ask anymore although I really wanna know what he's thinking but we might just end up arguing again which I don't want after last night, the most amazing night I ever had.

''I wanted to take a shower but I forgot that I didn't bring a change of clothes or anything '' I tell him.

''You should leave some of your clothes here'' He suggests.

''I'm gonna get going now'' I tell him and get up from the couch.

He gets up with me, takes the tv off and walks out the door before me. He slings his arm around my shoulder as we head back.

''I didn't know you were coming to drop me off'' I tell him and wrap my arm around his waist.

''We could've just slept in a little late then head back, I don't know why you wanna head back so early''

''Because I have too, I have a lot of things to do''

''So.... wasn't last night just so good?'' He smirks and pulls me to his chest.

''God you tasted so fucking good I just didn't want to stop. I had to get every drop of it'' He says.

''Hero'' I say and hide my face of embarrassment in his chest.

''Can't wait to suck you dry again tonight'' he says and my face turns all shades of red right now but I hide my face in his chest.

''I don't know what's better pushing my hard cock inside you or seeing your mouth wrapped around me''

''Can we stop talking about this now?''

'' You'll get more used to my dirty talking this mouth is filthier than you know'' he gives me a wicked smile.

''I know it is'' I smile and we continue walking.

''Remember what I told you'' He says and I have no idea what he's talking about. He's told me so many things before so he needs to be much more specific.

''About the birth control, you need to get on it'' he reminds me.

''When are you gonna get on it?'' he asks me.

''I don't know I have to get more information on it but I'll start soon'' I tell him.

He stops a bit back from the tents and puts his arm down from my shoulder. I look up at him then give him a big smile then wrap my arms around him. He hugs me tighter and kisses me on the cheek telling me that he'll text me later and I nod and tell him that I'll miss him and I watch as a huge smile spreads across his face before he turns to head back.

He waves me off and I wave back, I watch his perfect tall muscular body walk away before I head inside the tent. I'm not ready to face Kate or anyone after I lied about last night and well everything else over the last 3 months. I'm just not ready for all the questions about last night to arise from her, I'll have to just make up stuff along the way which I hate so much, I wish I could tell her everything but I can't.