Chapter 32

Quinn's POV

I have been trying to find out which shit head tried to take Kater from me in Italy but its a fucking end. This is why you should not kill all your enemies before you have answers and by the way we handled things in Italy none of them even survived. I can't believe Kater is even related to that asshole Volkan, that man is a ruthless being that even you can't imagine he has a daughter like Kater.

I don't even know if it was him who tried to take her away or one of my father's enemies or his enemies. It can be a great privilage to kill the daughter of that asshole because it will just show how much power you have going against Gabriel Valkov and that just scares me if people know that his daughter is still alive they would want her head or her brother's him being the rightful heir of his power.

I have tried all my fucking best to come to a conclusion who it might be,I even asked for Matteo's help which he greatfully accepted to help me but even so he has nothing even if his family is power in Italy and I don't want to use my father's resources because he will know who Kater truly is and knowing my father he will hurriedly refuse because he wouldn't like to be the opposite team with the Valkov's family even if we aren't even allies and I wouldn't like that with the methods they use to gain what they want.

The only option left was to leave some of my men to watch her while am not around, descreetly and knowing her she wouldn't appreciate that, saying she hates strangers following her or watching her every now and then. And my other option is my bestfriend, Delvin to help me,it has been long since we saw each other but I know he will always come to my aid the way I always came for his aid when he needed help. We have been friends since we were children and because my family and his have been great friends for a long time.

We were taught the same things since were children,the same strategies to use to manage our businesses both illegal and legal but knowing his family they can't do anything legally, all they like is to break the the law especially him but even so we never use the dengerous way if not needed.

When I asked him to help me I was so greatful that he's in Newyork and being the Castello he is,he will come in style.

The door of my office creaks open snapping me from my thoughts and remembering that I was having a meeting with my account. I looked at the door wanting to see who opened the door without even knocking but all is forgortten when I see my beautiful angel peeping through the small space she has created carrying a cup of coffee and some papers. I was wondering where my coffee was today.

"Oh am sorry for distarbing you, I will come in later" she apologsied seeming a little flastered for what she did has she looks at my account then me but I don't miss the way her tone sounded off like she's sad.

"Its okey,we are done here" I said giving Fred the files for the finance signing them faster before I gave him. He nodded getting up ready to leave, he greets Kater before walking out has she makes her way to my desk. "Um here is your coffee, sorry if I took so long" she apologised again not meeting my gaze as she sits down. I study her for a few seconds before I talked, "what wrong love?"

I watch her fidget with her fingers while nibbling her lip refusing to look at me, I stand up making my way around my desk then lean on the edge of the desk before putting two of my fingers under her chin forcing her to look at me. I search for anything that can tell me what she's thinking but am being lost in her honey brown eyes. I usually saw brown as a boring colour but with her it made it special.

Her eyes starts darting around as if she doesn't have the strength to look at me. I wonder whats wrong? She looks so down and sad, I have only seen her this sad once and thats when I saw her at the club or my club whatever it is. I move my fingers from her chin locking away some of hair behind her ear before caressing her cheek.

"Tell me what's wrong?" I asked again not really having the patience to wait, it just hurts me seeing her this sad. I want to know who made her this sad so that I can just snap their neck with one strick. She sighs a little giving me the paper she was holding. My eyes immediately go through what is written before I can fully understand its a resegnation letter, I look at her waiting for her to explain but she only looks down at her lap picking her finger nails.

"Whose is this?" I ask her not wanting to continue reading it, "its mine" she whispers lowly that you couldn't even hear but because the office is so silent I was able to hear what she said. "What do you mean yours?" I growled a little pissed of what she is telling me right now. She looks at me her eyes pleading for me to listen to her.

"My..my mum wants me to quit this job because of what happened in Italy" I look at her in desbelief not really happy that she is asking me to accept her resegnation. I thought she was the kind of woman who wasn't ready to be told to do something by anyone. "And you are okey with it?" I asked my voice coming out lowly and she looks away immediately.

"Quinn she hasn't left me with any options, she was really angrily at me that I went for a business trip without telling her and most of all she wasn't really happy that we are together"

"What do you mean she isn't happy with us being together?" I cocked my head to the side,my eyes searching hers not really understanding why her mother doesn't approve of our relationship. She was the last person that I thought that will have a problem with my relationship with Kater because my mum and her are really good friends.

"I don't know why she doesn't like you? She just said you were no different from my father. That I don't really know you and maybe I should ask you" my body immediately tenses from her answer not really ready for that kind of statement.

Oh fuck.

Ofcourse her mother wouldn't like me. She knows what my family does under this cover we have given ourselves and from the information I got of her mother, she really knows the ins and out of this business my family runs. I just never thought of what Kater will think of me after she finds out what I do, what my family does under this sick facade we keep and her mother being a Valkov she knows all of the crimes my family has ever commited.

But what will Kater think of me now? She just poured her feeling to me of the way she felt about me and deep inside of me I knew this won't end well. I knew sooner or later she would know of what I do, of what I was taught to become when I grow up and from the incident that happened in Italy of how I killed that man, I saw the fear that was written all over her face, the way she was scared of seeing me take another man's life.

I never wanted to show her that side of me,to show her the little devil that comes within me when I take another person's life, especially when its someone who tries to hurt my loved one.I wasn't just ready to tell her of who I'm, she has only seen the business kind of person I am not when I help my father run his businesses and it being a family business I can't just run from it even if I wanted to thats not the life I live in. When your born into this life you always know how it will end,how you will die, how your loved ones may die. Their is no running away from it because its in your blood and my family being one of the powerful crime family you can't really get away from it.

"Quinn is there anything you aren't telling me?" She looked at me spetically and I run my hand through my hair not really having the courage to say anything. I am not really ready to loose her and if I tell her the truth I will either loose her or she will accept who I'm really, a cold-hearted, ruthless man that doesn't give a shit of what people think of except her.

"The way you handled those people who tried to killed us, the way you know so much about my father's business. The occasional trips you go to like every month, the way you get all hulk mode when I go through your stuff.." she mumbled as if she's trying to put the pieces together, "speaking of that, you took a life right infront of me without even blinking. And then your bodyguards or your friends whatever you call them, they didn't even seem affected by the situation that occured, no reaction, no nothing..." she paused a little her eyes going wide, "my mum said your no different from my father, does that mean your into that kind of business too? I need answers Quinn"

I lowered my head and took a deep breathe not having the courage to even look at her. Is this how karma is willing to make me pay for the sins have done? I bring my hands to my temple rubbing them to stop this nausetic feeling am feeling inside before I run both of my hands back into my hair,clawing at my skull.

I pushed myself from my desk kneeling infront of her before wrapping my arms around her, gently pulling her body into mine. I pressed her face into my chest, wanting her to feel how my heart beats for her,how I feel when she's near me. I started kissing her hair, her forehead every single place that I could achive to place my lips on knowing this might be the last time I would be doing this. That maybe after I tell her everything about myself she won't even let me get close to her like now.

"You told Gill and Alex to take care of them," she whispered into my chest, "what happened to them? Where did-"

"Kater, stop" my voice was firm, and suddenly was my grip on her. I didn't shout, I didn't even raise my voice, but she still flinched from my order. I felt the overwhelming feeling flow in her body, I knew she was afraid of what I could do next, of what I might tell her to confirm her suspcisions.

She raised her hand to my chest trying to push me away but I didn't budge. I couldn't let her go because I wasn't even sure if I would have this opportunity again. I was holding onto her as if it would be the last time, as if once I let her go she would be gone for good and that scared me even more.

"I- I need answers, Quinn. I'm not going to act like I'm oblivious to what I've seen. I just don't understand how it all connects" her voice was much more steady this time as she pushed herself out of my grip. I reluctantly released her as she looked at me right in my eyes, "who are you, Quinn?"

"My work. It's Gill and Alex's work too. It's what our family does, it's what we've always done.We do our thing, we take care of issues when they arise" I rambled on not giving a fuck if what I said made sense, "I'm in tha mafia, Kater" I broke the tension between us with those few words as I watched her eyes widen within every second.

I waited for anything, for something from her. I wanted to hear her soft voice scold me, shout at me or even curse me but there was nothing but silence. I tried to her hands in my mine but she moved her hands quickly away from me even though it hurt like a fucking bitch from what she did atleast she did something.

"What?" She whispered under her breathe still looking at me in disbelieve, "how can that be true? You-you work here.."

I got up running my hands repeatedly through my hair not really knowing how I will explain myself to her. I walked to the glass walled wall watching the view below below me before I could explain myself to her.

"My family is not what people see it has, we do illegal things that the law won't even think twice put to punish us. Through many generations my family has been in this kind of business the only difference is that my grandfather wanted to keep the police of his back so he took the only precaution he could achive run some illegal dealings through an authorised business which he was partly successful" I motioned to this company remembering how my grandpa used to tell me how he went through so much that he was able to find an open door for this situation, but the devil will always come to haunt us.

"So you traffic weapons, drugs, people,you even kill people?" She whispered and I turned looking at her seeing how hurt she is,atleast she's not scared of me, she's the only person who makes me feel that am not a monster but now I don't even know what she thinks of me.

"I only do what is needed to those people who have betrayed their loyalty to us"

"Its still the same thing Quinn. You have taken people's life even though their bad you're no different from them" she snapped at me standing up angrily, "my life has been a total lie, first I learn that my father does illegal things then my mum tells me he never left me then you..." she said snapping her eyes tightly trying to fight the tears that were coming out,I just hate myself right now. Its me who caused her to cry,its me who caused her that pain she's feeling right now.

I walked to her side ready to wipe the tears flowing down her cheeks but she immeditely moves away from me putting her hand infront of me, motioning for me to not come near, "don't you dare come near" she tries to sound stern but her voice cracks in the end. I feel my heart being torn away from my chest realesing she's pushing me away.

"Kater please" I pleaded holding her hand before she can removing them from mine. "Quinn you lied to me, my whole life has been a fucking lie. What do you expect me to do after learning all of this in one day?" She sobbed trying to remove her hands from mine, "where you even going to tell me?" She questioned but I only kept quiet. Was I really going to tell her? I have always known how to cover up my trucks but with her I just can't. I knew she would know eventually thats why I was trying to keep distance between the two of us,not ready to drag her into my world.

"I can't do this" she said shaking her head and I immediately wiped her tears caging her into my arms, "please don't give up on us. I will do better next time, please just don't leave me. I can't live without you. I love you tigru, please. Punish me all you want but just don't leave me" I felt tears building up at the corner of my eyes feeling torn that she will leave me anytime soon. Nobody has ever made me this vulnerable except her, nobody has ever made my hard heart beat so fast or shatter into pieces like now.

"People call me cold-hearted,a monster but you make me feel normal. I have never felt this wonderful with anyone. You make me feel like am not the cold-hearted person I was born to be Kater, please don't leave. I love you so much, just please" I felt my voice crack as a tear escapes my eyes. I felt her tremble a little in my arms her soft sobs escaping her lips as she moved her face from my chest.

She freed herself from my arms, her shaky hands moving to my cheeks as she swiped the tear from my cheek before she lets her hand fall to her sides. "I have to go, I need time" she whispered lowly not giving me a glance before wiping away her tears. "Please don't ever doubt I love you" I told her cupping her cheeks before I kiss her forehead lingering a little longer before I let her go.

She heads to the door running a little before she opens it revealing Delvin, he looks at her confused then me before Kater murmered a sorry but before she could go she looked at me her tears still flowing before she stormed away. I felt like all my strength had been thrown away as I slammed at the nearest chair as my breathe came out raggedly.

For once in my fucking life I felt hopeless,helpless. I don't have a solution to this problem, I always had a lot of strategy for every fucking problem in my life but this is different. I know am not a good person, that my father told me never to find a distraction in this life we are living in but the problem is I already found it and its tearing me apart now.

I just hope I haven't lost the love of my life, my better half, my only light in this dark world am in.