Chapter 16

Silence.

All I hear is silence.

I am numb. The cold water prickling on my skin. I feel like I'm floating, sinking in the watery grave and to the deep end from where I fell and drowned.

Am I dead? Do people usually talk with themselves when they die? Isn't an angel supposed to come and take me away? I still feel my rapidly beating heart and can hear the rush of my blood rushing to my ears, so my soul is still attached to my body. I think I am in the middle of dying and living, it feels like that.

This was Carter's idea, I knew he was trying to kill me. This was the easiest way to get rid of me; trust him then make me jump in this water body, leaving me here to die. What another waste of a person into thinking that he might, in the very least, could be different. I knew and heard his conversation, how could I be this blind to trust him and come here along?

But I thought that until someone grasped my wrist and pulled me in a quick motion. I tried to gasp for air, but the water filled me instead of the usual oxygen. I choked, but how can I? This is getting painful, I feel tears forming and mixing with the water. With the whooshing of the water slapping on my body, I feel like I am blacking out, the only thing moving me is the hand. I tried to open my eyes, but they felt heavy... I'm running out of air, and this time, I am sure that I'm dying.

Suddenly, I was pulled out of the water and held close to a body, a strong body. I coughed and spat the water, getting it rid of it, and greedily took huge gulps of salty air, filling my lungs with it. I screwed my eyes shut to remove the excess water then opened them, and the first thing I see is Carter, looking down at me with a silly small grin.

"Make yourself at home, love bunny." he said, confusing me.

"What are you talking about..." I trailed off, moving away from him, and looking around. What in the world...

We are in a cave, a beautifully designed cave. It is huge, LED lights in different colors hanging at every curve and pointy edge, and paints of black and blue covering every surface. It actually didn't look like a cave, but more like a homey room. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw shelves with books, a tiny fridge, and a couch!

I slowly turned my gaze to Carter, "What is this place?" I asked. I think I'm dreaming, what I am seeing is an actual room, made in an actual cave, under actual water body.

"This is the reason why I brought you here." he said, coming closer to me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, completely puzzled.

"Days ago, when you told me about your bunny, I saw the way you were honest and really hurt. Since you were open and trusted me and just were with me, I thought I could also trust you enough in bringing you here, as much as you trusted me with your secrets and painful memories," he explained. Is this the Carter that I know speaking? Is he talking truthfully or just trying to play with me again? But this place looks like a hiding place and somewhere you don't really tell anyone about, could I be the first to know?

Pfft, you're reading too deep from this.

"And how can I trust that what you are saying is true?" I asked folding my arms and wrapping them around me to warm myself a bit, I'm getting cold. My small shudder didn't go unnoticed by Carter, he stood up stretching, "You already trusted me." he said, smirking. Oh.

"Let me bring you something warm, you can sit on the couch. It might be a little wet, but okay to sit on." he said going to the far corner of the cave, room, whatever this place is, and taking out clothes from a black metal hamper.

"How did you bring all of this stuff underwater? By magic? Like," I cleared my throat, "Abracadabra, may you all go underwater!" I said deepening my voice, making him chuckle lightly.

"You can be funny sometimes love bunny. Here, wear this," he said handing me a pair of grey sweatpants and sweatshirt. It looks big and man-ish, this is definitely his. I gratefully took it from him, one, because I am freezing like hell, and two, because his scent is attached to it, which is my new favorite smell.

"Thank you." I said but stood awkwardly when Carter didn't move from his spot, standing right in front of me, "Uh, Carter?"

"Hm?"

"Can you turn around?" I asked.

"Why?" he asked back.

"So I could change?" I said, sounding it more like a question.

"OHH," he said as if he didn't know I need my privacy, then turned. Was he seriously excepting me to be okay with it??

"I am sorry, I thought you would not mind," he said, I rolled my eyes at him.

"You are insane." I said as I tried to take off the wet clothes stuck onto my body.

"You already told me that." he muttered. He still remembers what I said, oh man.

"Carter, I-"

"I am just going to change too." he said cutting me off and walking away.

I quickly changed to his clothes, his scent engulfing me and working up my senses. It is much stronger on this one that I am so happy he gave it to me, I will take it and not give this to him. I collected my wet clothes and walked over to the edge of the cave, kneeling down and squeezing them one by one.

"Want some food? There is some pizza," he says coming to me wearing only sweatpants that hung low around his waist, his abdominal structure taking away the virginity of my eyes. Oh Lord, I don't know if I can handle seeing him half naked some of the times, it would go from strange to wild, I can sense it.

"Sure, but did you tell me how did you bring all of this stuff underwater?" I asked again, trying to distract myself from this boy's charming body, and at the same time, very curious to know the answer.

"Well, as you know my father is filthy rich and can do literally anything, so I stole one of his mini-submarines," he paused then hear him sigh. When I turned to him, he is sitting on the edge of the couch, holding a black lunch box. He looked at me and held it up in a motion for me to come over there.

I went and sat beside him, taking out a slice of pizza and taking a bite, then putting a good distance between us, "It's okay, I will listen." I said softly, sensing he doesn't feel comfortable talking about himself as I did.

He nodded his head and started, "When I was fifteen, I wanted nothing but a truly loving family, a family that cares for one another and just... fuck, I suck at explaining." he says rubbing his face with his hand.

"Abigail is the only person from the family that I like, truly love so much and care about, but it does not mean I do not love them, well, except my so called father," he said in a mocking tone, "She is seven years old, and her mind is still pure, and innocent, you know? She does not know a shit about the issue revolving in the family, so I try my best to make everything good and full around her, and because he never has time for his children and thinks money is the solution, it gradually became my responsibility to take care of her and the whole house. Allison, well, she is totally brainwashed by the money, getting makeup, beauty things, and all the shit that girls like, but I do care and think for her, in a very fucked up and a twisted way." he says.

"What about your dad? He is living with you guys, right?" I asked.

"Not much, he is mostly out there on trips, meetings, and doing his business stuff." he answered "But do not get me wrong, I hate him with all my might, I am actually happier when he is not around."

"Carter, you ar-"

"Do not even start." he warned me. This time, I stayed silent.

"Love bunny, I get it. You try to make me think otherwise about him, but no, he did way more fucking shit that no one would ever think of doing for their family, for their own blood." he said, frowning deep.

"You are right, I don't know anything about you, let alone your father. But if you try to be positive around him and seek to find something good, then maybe he could change, people change Carter, and since you are his child, he might go for it too."

"Yes, people change, but he is the exception."

"What about your mom?" I asked, hoping it won't blow him, remembering the day he called me a name because I mentioned her.

"That is for another time." he said, smiling a half smile. Such a relief it did not make him yell at me or be mad.

"Okay then, um... so let's talk?" I said. I know it, the end is coming, after we talk about... us? I would never speak to him, that is a promise that I made for myself. It would be better for both of us. I know I said it a couple of times before, but this time, I mean it, not with all of my heart, but I do.

"We are talking." he said, smiling innocently. "Carter, I am serious, this isn't where you make jokes or try to be funny."

"Okay, bring it on," he said, throwing his hand in the air and placing it on his bent kneecap.

"Why did you kiss me?" There, I asked the question that was bothering me for days, I need to get relief from it today, now.

"I... I honestly have no idea." he replied bluntly, changing what he was about to say, he is trying to hide something, and I want to find out. But what he said made me angry, he has no idea why he kissed me? What type of answer is this?

"What do you mean by you have no idea? Look, that kiss could be something normal and mean nothing at all to you since you can get it all the time, but for me it was..." I trailed off before I was about to spit what I was about to say, should I tell him?

"It was what?" he asked, looking straight into my eyes, "Tell me." he softly requests, searching for an answer within them.

I lowered my gaze, looking at the uneven shaped floor of the cave and spirals carved on it, "My first kiss." I whispered.

The silence was for seconds long, but it felt like ages passed by, a lifetime, and it suffocated me. None of us spoke a word, until, "But you kissed me back." he says lowly.

"I know."

"Do you regret your first kiss, being with me?" he asked again.

I stayed silent, because I know the answer to this question.

Did I purposely kiss him back?

Yes.

Did I like it?

Yes. But, I will never tell him. If he knows that I needed more of him and never wanted to stop, then he will surely play with me and throw me away as he always does with the other poor girls, and sluts may I add.

"Yes Carter, I do regret it, I wanted it to be with the one, not with a nobody, that I will probably never see him in the future." I lied. I know it was harsh, but it should be done.

"Fuck," he sighed and stood up. "You could have at least said it nicer." he snapped.

"Oh really? I apologize, did I hurt your non existent feelings?" I asked mockingly, suddenly igniting.

His face twisted in anger and sat again, this time he is way too close to my face, "Watch at what you are saying." he growls. I scoffed and folded my arms.

"Excuse me? And who do you think you are, Mr. Harrington?" I said, with one of my eyebrows raised.

"Do not make me," he warned.

"Make you what? Kiss me? Kill me? I am an overthinker Carter, so I already thought about them all the possibilities. Do it, I dare you." I tell him, his nose flared, bunched his hands into fists, then raised one of his arm. I flinched before he did it and feel the most shocking hit in my life, he freaking took it seriously.

But rather than he hit me, he walks over to the cave wall and hits on it, hard. Oh shit. It is so spiky and rough, his hands must be broken by this impact.

"Carter!" I shouted and walked over to him, holding his hand in front of me and inspecting it, it is bleeding. I tried to trace his wound but I couldn't because of the blood gushing out of it. I quickly held his arm up high, so that the blood would flow back, slowing the gushing down.

"You are so stupid." I muttered looking at him. But he doesn't seem to be in pain, instead, he is smiling down at me. I am actually surprised at how taller Carter is than me, and I like the way he towers over me. This is not the time to think about our height diference, but felt like it.

"Do you realize you are bleeding so bad? I am sure your wound is even big, and you just stare at me like that? Where is the first aid kit?" I rushed on scolding and asking him, but he still is smiling goofily at me.

"It is right there," he says pointing under the bed with his unharmed hand.

"I will bring it, don't try to put your arm down, at least you won't lose much blood and die," I say and crouched under the bed to retrieve the kit. I opened it and took out a badge and a gauze. There was a needle and a string inside the box. I thought about it, I know how to do it, I learnt it from my grandmother. I think it is better than wrapping a bandage on a wound that would not stop bleeding and plus, there is no running water too.

"Do you want me to stitch your wound closed?" I asked, seeing if he would agree.

He snapped his head to me with his eyes wide, "What? No way in fuck I will let you do that! Do you even know how to stitch?" he shouted, lowering his arm and holding it with the other protectively, away from me.

"I just asked! Geez, you are such a baby." I said chuckling. I grabbed his arm and led him to sit on the couch, I bent down and put the gauze on top of the wound, putting some pressure on it. I looked up at him, he is flinching hard, looking the other way, and it made me laugh. How can a guy like Carter be afraid of this? This is so funny and entertaining to be watched.

"Man up! Are you seriously being serious? You make me laugh, Carter." I said, sobering up from my fits of laughter.

"Keep joking on me, love bunny." he said in an annoyed tone, which made me giggle a little. I threw the used gauzes away to the edge of the couch and inspected the wound. Thankfully, it isn't as big as I thought it would be, so I could just wrap a bandage around it since he is afraid of me stitching it.

"Done," I said looking at the perfectly wrapped bandage around his knuckles. He opened his eyes and looked at it too, turned his wrist around, then he looked at me and smiled,

"Thanks."

I smiled back and said, "You're welcome." We stared at each other for a while, drinking each other's posture and eyes. My heart is aching in a way, and I know the reason why I will be cutting my connection with him from today onwards, it is the last day I should be seeing him.

"I think we should go, Carter," I said, breaking our gaze and standing up.

"And I think we should sleep here." he said, "Do not worry about monsters, there are none," he said smirking.

"No way, I can't sleep with you." I quickly denied his idea. As tempting the idea was, it won't happen at all, never.

"Why?" he asked standing up and coming to me. I quickly raised my hands, stopping him.

"It is not negotiable, Carter. And keep your distance from me." I sternly said.

It looked like something clicked inside his head, making him back away and say, "You are right, I am fucking stupid anyway."

"I don't know about that, Carter." I said, not wanting to be all negative too.

"I thought you... I think... I should have known you are no different from the others." he spat.

I wanted to question him as to what he meant by that, but instead, I stayed silent and went to pick up my wet clothes from the edge, there is no use in arguing or asking for an explanation here.

"There are some clothes in the car, so you can change," he said and I nodded my head.

"Hold on my shirt," he said, instead of his hands, so what I said just pissed him off? Why am I surprised? He surely sensed my tension.

"What about my clothes?" I asked and he shrugged, "I will give it to you tomorrow. Just put it where you have put them." he said, and did as he told me to.

"Ready?" he asked as I bunched the back of his shirt in my hands. "Yes." and with that, he dove us both into the water.

~°~°~°~°~

"You can stop here," I said, trying to look through the light rain. The lights of my house are off, it looks like both mom and dad are asleep, so I could sneak in quietly.

I turned to Carter and gave him a half smile, "Thank you for the ride." I said softly, but he didn't say anything, he just nodded stiffly looking ahead.

"Okay," I whispered and got out of the car with all of my things without saying anything.

What a petty way to bid each other goodbye.

I quickly jogged to the front door of my house and slipped in without making a sound. I looked around the dark living room, trying to see their figures in the dark, fortunately, there weren't any, so I quickly climbed up the stairs and went into my room, closing and locking the door behind me. I thought of taking the hoodie and boxers of Carter that I wore as we dove out the water and gave me to change, but opposed it the minute it popped in my head, let me feel like I slept with his scent, hugging me.

"Oh my God," I whisper to myself shocked when I saw a golden furred stuffed bunny in the middle of my bed, the moonlight surging from my window reflecting on its fur. I slowly walked to my bed and picked it up. It is so soft and fuzzy and had a white bow around its neck, it doesn't look like its own design. I untied it and, it turned out to be a letter with the same and familiar cursive writing,

*love bunny*