The creation (1/2)

On the 6th day, were the living beings called animals. God created them, shaped them in many forms; From the smaller insects, to the biggest animals, from the birds in the sly to the fish in the seas. Their creations were great, balanced, and harmonious. Thus, for all those being to live in harmony, God made the Garden of all Life, Eden, and all living things were finally reunited in a peaceful place.

Finally, like a last masterpiece, God made, according to his image, the first men named Adam and from his ribs were born Eve the first woman. The Divine creator, in his love for his creation, provided all things to his greatest creation. Adam and Eve, could use everything, interact with everything, and process everything. It was as simple as that. Yet God only forbids one thing; a single fruit, hanging on a tree. I was his first and only rule, the only thing he ever asked to the one he loved the most.

God did not explain why, nor did they have to. Yet I still wonder why. Did they know their very loved children where so ungrateful and easily fooled? Why did he trust them so much?

In the end, tempted by the snake, they did not last long before disobeying their creator, Eve biting the forbidden fruit and pushing Adam alongside in the fall.

Surely I, as my name demands, will disobey: I'll Bite on the fruit the serpent was giving to me. So, although in my eyes it is for the greatest good, I don't doubt that a punishment will also come for me.

"In the end, even if I share the same name as Eve, I could never really understand her. After all What did she have to gain from it? Isn't she just stupid? Dooming all humanity. Adam was no better though"

"Aren't you just the same? What did you miss? You had a life that people would kill just to spend a second in it. And I know your future, it was bright and hopefull. Yet here you are ready to give in to the forbidden fruit."

"I wont doom the humanity."

"Are you sure of that? What tell you that his death wasn't necessary to the well-being of the world?"

"What with you now?! Are you trying to stop me now?"

"Am I? The sin of the first human werent really about eating a fruit."

"Yeah I know. It's about disobedience."

"There is that. But isn't there more to it? Isn't it about how low their faith in God was? They didn't trust God enough to listen to their only rule. even though it was such a simple one. It was a form a betrayal."

"What ? Are you telling me you are God and I don't have faith?"

"I'm not saying I'm them. I'm only what you wish me to be. However I can tell that you have no faith in the world and the nature whatsoever, therefore you are ready to commit a great sin."

"Giving another chance for someone who deserves it to live?!"

The mysterious being started to laugh again making my blood burst of shame and anger in the process.

"Humanity does not change, no matter how much time passes."

For the first time I sensed annoyance in their voice . They seemed tired, sad even. Yet, just like with every other feeling, the impression got swept away, erased and replaced by it's usually uninterested look.

They added making appeared once again the devils fruit.

" Well, does it matter anyway? You are going to do It no matter what right? So Here is your part. All you have to do Is take away the over half of the fruit. Once the fruit is complete all you have to do is bite in it. Simple."

"So what is gonna happened...To me?"I said, a bit ashamed of my suden burst of fear.

"Do you really have time for something you already know?"

He was right. It didn't really matter, what was important was what carried me on. He deserved to live more than I did anyway.

Looking at the enormous clock, I saw that I had 4 hours left. Considering how weirdly the time passed, and the constant reshaping of the subway station, 4 hours represented as much as nothing.

I said I was going to do it but it was easier said than done.

While I was lost in thoughts, his brown hair appeared in the corner of my eyes end then I knew that there was no time to just think.

"He told me to take the other half of the fruit, but I don't know where he has it. Whatever, maybe if this place depends on what I wish, I will be able to find my way."

I turned the first corner, then a second one, and a couple mores, but he always was able to outrun me somehow. Speaking has become useless, not even once did he try to listen to me or what I had to say. Nor did he try to speak to me. I wondered what he was thinking, what he was looking for here, if he was the real one or just one more fruit of my long delusion.

I couldn't even tell if I truly believed in all this. No matter which one it was, yes or no, I had to end it for good. Running away endlessly wasn't what I wished to do anymore.

The floor abruptly moved, twisted rolled itself inside out. The world became distorted, making me sick, nauseous, and frustrated. He was getting farther away from me.

"What?! No! What's going on!"

I yelled, completely panicked by the sudden change in the scenery.

"You are doubting aren't you? How funny, playing the all determined and confident person when you actually are afraid. You are not ready for this? Give up already and accept it."

The snake was nowhere to be seen, their voice just rang in my head, mixing up with my thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, was they simply the voice of my own consciousness. I would never know.

"That's no true ! I'm not doubting! I'm resolved, I won't run away anymore!"

"That's your way not to run away? Aren't you just doing it?"

I gripped myself to whatever I could. The floor was no more under my feet but next to me? I was the only one ready to fall in the endless hole that the distortion made and He was still running jumping on his back.

"DOn't go! FUCK! Help me!"

"There Is nothing I can do. This is your doing. You don't want to reach Him. In the end you haven't evolved one a bit. Give up already and accept-"

"I refuse! I won't accept this fate! There's no way I will."

"Then fall"

"What?"

Confusion arose again. What was they talking about? Letting myself fall without even seeing the end of the hole? Moreover, how was it supposed to help me reach him? Nonetheless he repeated:

"Let yourself fall. "

"Are you crazy?? What if I-"

"Does it even matter? In the end aren't you just a coward? If you are not able to accept It at least do it with confidence, but what should I demand to someone who did nothing but fail thousands of time. You failed !Failed before even entering her! For three years all you did was fail. On that train that day? You also-"

Me blood burst, boiled, burned my veins and my heart. My lungs wer fire, full of smoke, hot ashes of my shame and anger. I hated it, I didn't have to hear it. I already knew it all.

"Shut up! You don't know anything. I said I won't run away. It means I won't run away!

Suddenly, out of whatever feeling I had, I left my self fall. I felt that I ha to prove something to them, I had to prove something to myself. I was simply fed up.

The feeling was awfull, my organs where dansing inside of me, sick taste sitting on the back of my throat. I fell miserably, just like how I was feeling for three long years.

My eyes were closed shut,- I was terrified- until I heard that mocking laugh . Fate was mocking me again.

my eyes weren't shut anymore, I could see him, so close yet so fa, slowly runing into another world. A world opposit to mine, a world were there was no me.

"Hundred...no billion times....I Have Enough!"

I always felt like I was falling from a high a place, always afraid because I never knew when I would meet the floor and splash myself miserably. Since he died, I always felt that way. On the verge of something, just like him.

Then I realized, that my torture came from farther than that day. So when I passed next to him, and our eyes met, for the second time since this torture-full loop started, I felt it again. The overwhelming feeling of pressure.

I wasn't falling anymore, I was drowning.

I brusquely felt my body getting wrapped by cold water, pressure entering in my ears as I could only ear the gullible of the liquid substance. Unable to keep my breath any longer, the water entered my nose submerging my lungs, invading my mouth and my throat. Suffocating.

It was painful, burning me from the inside, crushing my guts, It felt thicker than water, heavier on my skin. I was in great pain.Wasn't I always like that? Drowning in responsibilities I didn't ask for, that everyone else imposed me. If I tried to run away they looked at me as an awful person, a coward, but when I was doing the duty they gave me, everyone saw me as poor and unlucky.

"Poor her, having to take care of him all the time."

"Shouldn't we ask Eve...Oh no, she have to look after him."

"Ahaha, what are you? A Babysitter?"

"You want to go with us? Don't you have to keep an eye on him?"

"Look at her, she's so mean, why is she ignoring him?"

" 'Am sorry Eve, I know It's hard but we need your help."

All of them. Were the same they never cared about my feeling. All I wanted was....All I wanted was...

Until I remembered his eyes. I felt deeply ashamed on how I didn't change a single bit. How I was still the trash I was. It was always the same thing, always the same loop of thinking. Just like this strange dream.

I heard the omnious laugh again, closer , inside of my own head and I thought that maybe, I was the one behind my suffering.

I always knew it. But never accepted it, and as I saw him getting farther from me, as I was extending my arm without being able to touch him, I though, that all I needed and truly wanted, was forgiveness. Not from anyone but him. I needed him to forgive me so I could forgive myself.

I thought I was going to die, asphyxiated by my own negativity until I opened my eyes one more time. I wasn't drowning anymore, I was simply sitting on one of those metallic chairs, dressed up just like that time, completely dry but still filling the pressure on my lungs. I heard the clock clearly, louder than ever, then came the creaking of the coming train.