The creation (2/2)

I didn't see him at first, I thought that maybe it was finally the end, but he appeared sitting two blocks of sits away. He wasn't looking at me, instead he was glaring at the clock.

I couldn't say a single thing, mouth was shut by fear.

I was there looking at him, with all my words tangled into each other, stuck in my through like hard-to-swallow pills. Meanwhile the two beams of light in the tunnel were getting closer, brighter as the engine was coming closer to us.

Suddenly He stood up, and as he always did, walked to the rails.

It mad me jump on my feet, ideas mixing yet putting their self in orders. Was he like me? or was he also fruit of my tortured mind? It didn't matter anyway.

Before he could jump on the rails I stood up between him and his goal, hands rose on both sides of my body, as if I became a safety wall. He looked at me smiling, tender yet melancholic, soft yet sharp smile that cut deep into my skin, lacerating me with shame.

I couldn't say a single thing, I wasn't ready yet. I didn't feel ready, and he looked sadder. He tried to move from my block, to counter me. It was strange, how shallow he looked until he put his eyes on the deadly rails. He was suddenly all determined. Was it death that made him that way?

Anyway I needed to speak, time was running faster than before.

"A...Adam!"

His attention didn't move, he didn't even shiver at me calling him, as if I didn't exist anymore. It was vexing, was death so seductive that he forgot about me? Then I knew, I realized something knew.

"Adam! I...I'm so sorry."

I left my arm fall, pretty sure I was no wall to him.

"Will you hear me out? for a bit? You know I....I really love you, very much. You are so dear to me, you don't even know. You are my second half, I know it. You always have been part of myself and I was part of yours. I miss you so much...I realized a bit to late that my days were really fun when you were next to me.... See, I am a pretty pathetic friend...I wasn't able to get on a train..ahaha even hearing this annoying sound makes me awfully sick. Mom is so worried about me, I'm so sad I have to worry her that much ahaha....I've cried so much I'm afraid my tears gland are not working anymore...."

He didn't bother, kept on walking, still so determined to get closer to death. Then I freaked out, felt like my chance was going away at each move he was making, the surrounding sounds getting out of control in my head.

"That day I left you die on purpose."

It fell down like a bomb, souring my chest, filling me with shame and relief. I finnally said it. I finally accepted it.

Adam stopped his ascension to the danger, finally looked at me. he was next to me, only 2 or three meters away, piercing me with an undescriptive expression. I felt paranoid all I could though of was that he surely was disappointed or disgusted.

However that didn't stop me, on the contrary , I became a broken bottle and everything was flooding in a sustained pace.

" They all said it wasn't my fault, that in that situation I couldn't have done much more. They were so wrong. I wished they would insult me for what I did, punish me even. Because I did it on purpose. I always saw you as a nuisance. Even though I loved you so much, you were so heavy to me. Because I had to be constantly by your side, I was just like you, always on the edge. I was suffocating in the fear of seeing you die ,not only because you were important but most because I feared people would hate me for it. I just couldn't bear with it, I wished to be free from the responsibility that was given to me, from my guilt. I needed you to die, disappear completely. You were a burden. Just like in the metamorphosis you were my Gregory. Just like the family I left you die. That's why , I didn't change my mind knowing you didn't support the strong heat. That why I didn't bother to take the another train even though I knew this one was full. That's why I didn't propose to get down as soon as I saw you were getting even more sick. The moment I doubted, the moment my consciousness came back at me, it was too late. Even with that, I could have saved you. Bought you time. All I had to do was ask for people to make spaces, to break a window so air could pass, take your puff in your back pack, talk to you to make sure you wouldn't lose consciousness. I could have donn all that. But I didn't. Because deep down I wished you would just die. I listened to all your breath, counting your pace, and when you delivered your last one. I felt...I felt...Relieved. You were finally gone. "

I laughed, mad at my absurdity, mad that it felt so good to reveal those atrocious feelings.

"However, it wasn't that simple. I realized how horrible I was. Guilt eat me like ant on sugar. I felt disgusted about myself, and the worst is that the first thing you mother said was that she was sorry I had to live such a traumatizing event...That it wasn't my fault. They didn't even forgive me.... they couldn't see my sins... I felt awful."

I wouldn't bear to be seen, I wished to die, desperate in a moment.

" I'm a trash. Because even until today, I still wish you didn't die, You are still the most precious person to me. I'm so sorry, I'm so bad, I'm so sorry, I regret, I'm sorry. I-"

He put his hands on my shoulders, smiled at me again, all he did was smiling at me, caressing my wet cheeks, patting my head with a genteelness I missed more than anything. Then he hugged me warmly, told me he knew all along, but that he forgave me way before he died. That it was painful but he understood my pain. That my three year of repenting were enough that i could just go a live my life. That he also greatly sinned and he was no better than me.

I saw the being behind u watching the second half of the apple in the hand. The train was arriving. ding of its announcement loud.

So his forgiveness wasn't enough. I knew he had forgiven me. I knew he wouldn't hold any grudges.

Finally came to the realization that It wasn't so much about him forgiving me anymore, but telling him felt better, liberating. I extended my hand to take the other half, moved out from his hug and the curious being sighted, half surprised.

"I knew you wouldn't hate me.....I'm happy I told you all this...However it's no longer about you forgiving me I think...."

He looked confused, not so sure about what was happening as I was putting the two half of the fruit together.

For the first time the train stopped but the doors stayed shut. Then the face of Adam changed,decomposing.

"Eve. What are you doing? "

" Like I said it's no longer about you forgiving me at this point. I can't move on...Since I havent been able to forgive myself. I have to pay. I spent three years and a billions loop running away. I need to forgive myself. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it. However, what I know for sure is that you deserve to live more than anyone else on earth. The first Adam and Eve made the silly mistake of throwing the rock at each other. But we are different. We protect each other. My duty is to protect you, it always was and always will be."

I bit in the fruit, like the being instructed, under the confused eyes of My dear friend. Then the door of the train opened, followed by the ring a of bell.

Billion of coloured strings wrapped me like a cocoon, pulling me in the wagon, a soft imprisonment.

For the first time he spoke to me.

"Wait,wait Eve stop!You can't! Don't do this! I decided to die!It was my wish.I sinned too! Eve!!"

It was heart warming and painful, the sonority of my name I havent heard for years ringing on my ears. It made me laught of sincere joy, sweet nostaly.

"Ahaha hearing you yelling my name like that. Our names are really lame."

"It's not the moment for jokes!"

How sad was that the last expression I'd to see on his olive face would be one of incomprehension and sadness, anger even. Yet it was way better than the pale expression of the dead.

"Adam you said you sinned. Then you should be punished as well."

"Yes that's right! So don't do anymore than this! I'll take any punishment."

I felt happy again, for the first time after year that felt like decades. Liberated.

"Your punishment is too live. How about that?"

The doors were slowly closing between us. String avoiding him to get in the train. It was over. We weren't in the same universe anymore. His cry tired down the air, I could hear how his thought was sour, suffering .

"It's unfair! Eve! EVE!!!"

"My bad, I'm still as Selfish as Ever. We'll see each other again. "

The door closed, rang the three bells and the Fanfare of the end of the world.The Seraph were singing once again and he was crying, I could hear him. The train started and Left into another tunnel.

It wasn't the end of the story. Just the Beginning of another step.

I have broken through the critical point,

and gone way past my upper limit,

While the absolute control over me is crumbling down.

From the end boundary of a world made of 0's and 1's,

I yell: "World's end is nothing more than a theory"