Online Dating

"Hi Venus! How are you? This is Han. I found your profile interesting (I am a member too) and you have a lovely smile. Can we be friends? Regards, Han"

What membership? My only membership is being an annual member of an old bookstore located in a ruined looking building across the street where I'm living. Uninteresting from the outside but once you step in into the bookstore, you wouldn't want to leave. You'll be spellbound. Old and new arrival books with attention-grabbing titles and covers are stacked in a tall-and-handsome order, yelling to be picked. The cheapstake me don't want to lose out (like everyone else out there) on any discounts that may be offered on books or stationeries. So, I religiously renew my membership every year. He he. Oh, by the way, my bedroom window is overlooking the bookstore and whenever I sit down to do work at my desk, the tip of my nose is practically pointing or pressing on the bookstore (only when I stare straight). Starbucks is the lending neon lights to the bookstore ever since it found its way to the neighbourbood. Suddenly, the ruined looking building became alive and fresh looking (once again) with Starbucks' presence. Not a single drop of new paint needed to make the whole building beaming in pride. It's people traffic that does the trick. People throngs the café to get their daily fix or simply to chill. The crowd spills over to the bookstore and the eateries in the same row. I call it 'convenience market at one-spot'.

Ok. Han. Let's see how genuine you are with friendship. Oh, by the way, my intuition hasn't poked me for an alert. – Psst! Are you there? Neither my sweat gland has a reaction – nope, no sign of spurting sweats from both my palms. Strange but nice.

I know this is absolutely crazy. At least, Han has allowed me to choose a venue which I could just jump up to my room window (10th floors climb. Yes, I believe that when one senses danger – Spiderwoman heroine can become a reality) or sprint my way back across the street to where I live. Most importantly, the venue is buzzing with people and activities. AND, my neighbours know me. Thanks to my contagious smile. Of course, I gave my mum Han's contact number – to her delight. When I left my house, she would probably grab the calculator, punches away the delightful keys and add the zeros at the back to its infinity for future dowry figures. No. I was only joking. Ha ha ha. Ok. I know it's not funny. Shit. It's shit hot in here. I text Eugene about my date the minute I picked a corner to sit in Starbucks. This is his unthinkable act.

His reply was "You Shit Hot girl! Good luck, babe!"

Yeah. You are lucky to have a Shit Hot buddy, buddy. He he.

He is looking at my direction. Smiling. No doubt about it. Since I am Shit Hot – anyone can spot me from miles away. I smile back (not forgetting my manners – even if the guy who just stepped in was actually smiling to the gigantic Scandinavian arm chair which my butts are happily pressing on its fluffy cottony cushion than to me). Oh. Oh. Oh. He is walking towards my direction and there's no one else at this corner except me – the girl who just became sensationally Shit Hot, mind you.

"You must be Venus" Han's big eyes penetrating mine for an answer.

Shit. Why everyone else has such big beautiful eyes except me? Don't get me wrong, my oriental eyes suit me perfectly. They are even more so now since I'm Shit Hot (Bleh!). I only wished that they are big, bigger and the biggest.

My blinking eyes race to answer 'Yes' before I found my verbal expression as I ask "Han?"

Han nods vigorously and he hasn't stopped smiling since he walked in just now. His body language speaks of decency and it matches his name (it's my intuition that was talking – great, you are with me!). We shook hands and the gentleman him went to order our drinks. I asked for orange juice and not coffee because I don't want to get caffeinated high on my first date. When he comes back with our drinks, we both play with our straws (we have the same habits, huh?) before we begin our polite conversation. No pretences, no racing pulse, no sweating palms and no nothingness of nervous sign. Is that a good or bad sign? For once, I ignore the inclination to think too much.

"Where do you live?" as I sip my orange juice. So refreshing especially after my disappointing moment with Martian and I just remembered that I haven't had a drop of water since my last toilet episode.

When Han cheerily answered that he lives next door, which is, the bookstore, I almost choked on my orange juice. I too cheerily asked him which section of the bookstore he resides and that got him giggling. Boy, I thought giggles are only meant for girls. I didn't know that the boys are capable of such performance too. So, he is the son of the bookstore owner who just came home from overseas. Han has been living abroad since he was ten.

Bloody hell!

He has two double eyelids on both of his eyes! They accentuate his face features when I noticed as he took off his glasses to rub his eyes. GOD, this is so unfair! Did you accidentally give Han double of double eyelids when one should belong to me? Arrgghhh! I am super upset now. If not for the missing double eyelids, I would have been Shit Hot hotter.

So, we are neighbours. It only means that we will keep an eye out for each other after this date (successful or not) – even if it's just for neighbourly sake. It also means that I will always have to look my best when I step out from my house (well, not that I am now when I agreed to this date. I didn't adopt a killer looking style to impress – nope. Not this time. This is so Martian's fault. Tsk. Asshole). Yup, my dearest Universe, you heard me right, please pick up my cursing and do your wonders on that asshole! Well, he asked for it. He he.

Han is:-

* decent

* friendly

* gentleman

* he has big eyes

* he has big BIG eyes!

Venus is:-

* Shit Hot!

* Period

Ok. We warmed up after our drinks because we found ourselves calculating each other's compatibility. Whoa. We are so unashamed to show off our knowledge. Haha. Yes, I did calculate my compatibility with Martian on our first date. When I added us up, I got a '6' and that means l-o-v-e. But where's the love??? According to Han (his technique) that we need to take into account the corresponding and clashing of the five elements (fire, earth, metal, water & wood) in the blueprint of our date of birth. So, our (mine & Han's) compatibility score, using his technique is the incompatibilities (sounds like a lot brewing there) will make the relationship work. Uh-huh. I just met my match who shares the same interest as I do in geomancy studies. Geomancy has got us addictively hooked to each other – on the subject.

Oh, no. Shit!

What are they doing here???

Just as my jaw dropped to an intriguing ahhh to Han's explanation on Purple Astrology, I caught sight of Eugene and Fish sitting three tables away diagonally opposite me! Both of them give me their thumbs up and toast their drinks in midair at my direction. In the course of doing so, Fish clumsily spills her drinks and Eugene, first, rolls his eyes, then, shakes his head in irritation. Fish pouts to his reaction. I quickly grab a serviette to hide a small laugh.

Both Eugene and Fish are shamelessly bold. They walk over with their drinks and invite themselves seated next to Han and me. Han looks at me with wide eyes and mouths an 'O' to a surprise with our new company. I blink my eyes to a nod assuring him that Eugene and Fish are my friends. I save myself the trouble of introducing them because all three already busied saying their hellos and started flashing out their name cards. Nice. I think they all like each other because there was never a moment of awkwardness since Eugene and Fish sat down. Instead, I was left looking from my left to my right and right to the left, again and again and again, like a pendulum, watching and listening to their conversations. Hey! He is my blind date! Not yours! Give me back my man!!!

Damn. Han got hijacked from me.

Sigh.

I try to scare shit roar at my blind date snatchers. I really roared my lungs out at them for snatching my man. Pathetically, both Eugene and Fish just starred at my big wide mute mode lionness roar for only two seconds, laughed and shifted their attention back to Han. Well, Han just starred at me wide eyed and said "Cute".

What??? Just 'c-u-t-e'? Sigh. I wish that my blind date has better and is generous with compliments. Cute doesn't quite really justify the cuteness in me. I grew up being called cute all the time. So, I got to be the cutest to be one. I am 'Very cute!', 'So cute!' or 'Extremely cute!'. So, you can have back your "Cute" compliment, stingypoker (Bleh!).

Hey, isn't this Eugene's unthinkable act for ME? Didn't he do this JUST for ME? Yes, that also means Eugene isn't allowed to interfere. Doesn't he know when to draw the lines? Bloody.

I manage to growl at all three of them before I empty my orange juice from it's container.

Then. Just then, as I slowly (yes, the slow motion version) look up from emptying my container (with the straw hanging for dear life pitifully in my mouth), I caught sight of someone familiar. So familiar that I hold my breath really hard and long that I almost went blue.

O-M-G!

What is he doing here??? I thought that asshole said he is going for a short getaway somewhere nearby(?) Maybe his geograhical sense is way out – out. Shit! He can't see me here! I'm on a blind date with Han. Hide! Hide! Where should I hide? I don't have time to run to the toilet for an escape. I quickly grab open a serviette & hide my face behind the thick material. Damn. Why must he appear when I don't want him to!?

"Hello!"

Uh-oh. I definitely recognise this voice and the pulling magentic aura which almost pulled me to it and the BIG feet. Gulp! So, I slowly draw the serviette down like a stage curtain drawing down to a closing performance. I look up to the tall guy which has a tiny mole on his face of which I had been dying to touch and pinch (the psycho me) two weeks ago on our blind date. My heart did skip a beat to his presence but honestly, I am not sure anymore if it's to a delight or worrisome.

"Hi Mars!" standing up straight, I rub my hands on my jeans to dry away the sweat which has been building up since I noticed him from far. Shit! I can feel the pulling chemistry no matter how much of an asshole he is and my knees are wobbly weak, and I need to hold the edge of the table for stability. Damn shit! I am not looking my best today. Argh!!! No. It's double Argh! Argh!!!.

Eugene, Fish and Han are looking at us strangely with Eugene's hand raised mid-air (as if time has stopped him from their exciting conversation) and is frozen upon Mars' presence at our table. I pull down Eugene's mid-air hand and nudge him for help. Eugene shrugs his shoulders and gives me the who-is-he-? looks. Han looks at Fish for some clues and of course, Fish being Fish, as usual, blurrily looks back at Han shaking her head.

I wish I have a button to stop time from moving forward. Freeze everything and everyone – right now! Oh, GOD!

I can see Mars' surprise-me warm gaze and my heart skip a beat the second time. I can feel a small butterfly suddenly grows out of nowhere and is slamming hard around my stomach now. Damn. Now is not the time for it! I must clear this mess.

"Hi, Mars! What are you doing here?" I try to sound cool and unguilty (it did feel like I'm cheating on him though I hadn't done anything wrong since we are not in a relationship – yet. Yeah, when?)

"Are you surprised to see me, Venus?" Mars is grinning happily.

"No! I mean yes! No, I mean no-yes!" tsk. There goes my haywired reply. I was really pissed and disappointed with Mars and now he expects me to switch my mood mode. I mean, come on! What kind of a stupid surprise is this, huh?

"Hi! I am Eugene. I guess you must be Mars" as Eugene comes to my rescue, extends his hand to Mars for a handshake, he looks at me questioningly with a raised eyebrow. Fish and Han take turn to do the same (except for the eyebrow raising) and they all introduced themselves (being a well-mannered adult – they can do it by themselves) without my help. Wonderful.

Ok.

GOD! Please open up a hole and swallow me! Please! Please! Please! Just as I pleaded to GOD silently, Han has to excuse himself as it's time for him to standin for his father's staff in the bookstore.

Wow. My plea for help is answered. Thank you, GOD! Phew. At least, I don't need to be holed up. Hee.

"I will see you around, Venus. It is really nice meeting you" Han smiles warmingly at me and says his rounds of goodbye to everyone.

Mars eyes Han suspiciously.

I have a feeling that Mars is slightly jealous and my confidence suddenly rise to the ocassion.

"We will discuss more about geomancy, ya?" I wink at Han sweetly and yes, I am absolutely hooked to it – the subject! AND, I didn't shake off from looking at Han walking away until he exited Starbucks door (Psst! I did it on purpose to get even with Mars).

There! Asshole. Time for revenge. You asked for it! Bloody hell, you made me agonised achingly for you, disappoint me with your falsehood and a heart attack surprise. GOD, I am in full steam of anger and I can sense that it is going to explode anytime!

BUT...but...but...Mars' short getaway is to see me. Awww..... Hey! What are you doing? Tsk – my right foot (feminine hormone) naughtily climbs back in into Cloud 9 after I had successfully jumped down from it right after I cursed him for being an asshole. My left foot (masculine hormone) is still not done sulking. Its ego is badly bruised by the earlier disappointment.

Shit! Both my feminine and masculine hormones are fighting for the control seat.

"How was the blind date that night, Mars?" Eugene interrupts my hormones' cats fight and brings me back to reality.

"It was great. We had a good time, ya, Venus?" Mars burning gaze ignites mine. Damn. I am on fire.

"Yes, it was wonderful" I couldn't pull away from Mars' hot gaze. Oh, yeah, Mars, burn me alive with your burning desire gaze. Yum-yum!

"So, tell us, Mars, what do you think of Venus? Do you like her?" Eugene sudden query was terrifying and horrifying to my weakening heart (which hasn't recovered from the surprise Mars presented me). My feminine hormone is in shock. My masculine hormone sneers and is cheering on with two blue pom-poms. I give Eugene a puzzling look for his outright boldness.

"Of course, Venus is a likable girl!" Mars meets my eyes once more but the chemistry is missing. It got snapped out. Oi! What happened? Mars is playing safe. That was a non-committal answer. I knew it. Call it woman's instinct. Shit. I want to run away now. One minute he was all over me. The next minute, when he sensed a threatening trap, he retreated. This is no good. By the way, my intuition just blew a deafening warning sound trumpet – so loud that I nearly got blown away.

Eugene slumps against the seat upon Mars reply. We look at each other and he gives me the 'Ask-him-to-go-to-hell!' looks. Even Fish was speechless.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Just hold on. This is not the time to feel sorry for me. Suddenly, something just dawn on me.

"How the hell did you know that I am here?" I look at Mars curiously and suspiciously. Damn. He better gives me a good answer.

"When I sent the email to you, I was already sitting here. I wanted to give you a surprise" Mars answer has got my knees gone wobbly weak again.

"But how would you know that I'll come here?" yeah, just how did he know.

"I wanted to tell you in my last reply but my boss interrupted me with a phone call. I had to reply an urgent e-mail as well. Then, I saw you walking in but I was busy" Mars smooths out the misunderstanding.

Oh.

Eugene didn't look impress with his explanation. Fish is busy with her phone. Me? There are a lot to digest – emotionally.

My feminine hormone is mermaid-ing in my system – swimming happily up and down. My masculine hormone sits meditating for better insight.