30. Poetry: Fear

Reaching for my art book I opened the section for poetry, tracing the pen work and cursive words. needing to remember what they meant to me.

Im scared...

Scared that ill continue to

Have a relationship with my 

Past self-called ex

Scared that she'll be 

Heavy on my present 

That I won't be able

To rest. 

Im scared

Scared that the burdens

Of rumors and unbelief

Will unveil me when I try to love

Im scared that I will not

Be able to scream 

And cry and be called weak.

In fact, I'm wrong

What I meant

Was I'm afraid that I'll scream

And cry and still be referred to as weak

For being tired of being strong.

As if being a woman 

Isn't enough strength in the word itself

My body is scarred

But scattered are the bruises

Of the lies and torment

Of rejection...