When you found me

After dinner which I was so well fed, my brothers caught up with me updating on how the business is doing over a game of Chinese chess and tea. Soong Jie remember my favourite tea and dessert osmanthus cake and Tang Yuan.

"Wow Soong Jie this is really good! Zhen De Hao Che!" I praised Soong Jie her dessert taste really good as usual her giving me the look to eat more and telling me to stop being cheeky. Biting into the desert I felt tears forming.

Er Ge patted my back and passed me a tissue. Er Ge is probably the most sensitive one towards how I felt and able to read my feelings growing up together. Being the middle son he's always looking after my eldest brother's feelings of needing to do the best for my dad as my dad is the eldest in the entire family. There is this subtle competition between my uncle and my dad. Er Ge seems to be the gel that helps to tie us together probably the best at tolerating my behaviour of not wanting to be involved in the family business while some may deem it as simply disliking accountabilities and carefree spirit. All in all, grandma is still the best trying to explain to all lacing it with a sensible explanation "he is still young, when he gets around it he will eventually lend a hand"

"How are you with Yi Ren...." Er Ge asked once Ta Ge moves away

"Yi Ren .... ? Uhmm...We...are good " I was trying to avoid the topic. Ever since Jon's passing I've been isolating myself and Er Ge has been very worried. Yi Ren was probably one of the closest in their quest to reach me.

I can't even begin to speak about Jon but we were closed like like brothers, we grew up with music, we created music and we were all very close and knitted. It was hard to let go of how all of us love him, he was a great musician and absolutely a loss that none of us can get over. During that period Yi Ren and I got to know each other.

We met on the plane when I left that day. I was seated by the window seat when Yi Ren appeared next to me. Little did I found out later Yi Ren and Er Ge had been mutual friends. And they catch up once a while with their mutual group of friends usually at our family friend's bar/restaurant perched on a hill overlooking the city. One which I like a lot as they have an open balcony overseeing the hill that catches the sunset.

Yi Ren was on his ear plugs most of the time while I had my eye shades on. I was just too distraught to bother with anyone or anything around me on the flight to Taiwan. And I think in between as I slept I might have sob, I think Yi Ren heard and noticed which he then turn and ask if I was okay breaking the awkward silence. He pass me a candy from his pocket, making me smile for such an abrupt action. (Though I did indicate candies are for small kids). We spoke for a little but he never did ask me what was wrong, I always felt he was sent coincidently to accompany me that day or it could even been Jon sending guardian angels to watch over my distraught soul.

It was not until months later when Yi Ren mention he met Er Ge and got the full download from him did I open up to Yi Ren more.

Our conversation was always surrounding his work - an artist himself he had a few songs going out which he needed advice at times how it should be arranged. When I set up to join the media consulting company that handles events and engages the current musicians that I am playing with, Yi Ren was the one that encourages me to do so taking up music again doing it as a freelancer as their house pianist. Breaking away from my role as a concertmaster when Jon was around often leading and making sure everything strings up. Occasionally I will play the violin when someone can't.

Yi Ren the only son was also perhaps like me while the older generation label us as young millennial that doesn't like accountability, free spirited, silver spoon bred and have minds of their own, we are pretty much entrepreneurial skilled in our nature trying out new stuff. Yi Ren while is quite an entrepreneur. He has a dance school that provides professional stage dancers which he choreograph dances.

We have had several collaborations at events where some corporate functions they like to see musicians with singing and dancing so we will sought his help while we arrange for the music. Yi Ren gets intrigue with my singing at times when we first started collaborating. My music carried Jon's spirit as I sing them and played the instrument. Jon taught me how to nail each note and move the audiences and empty my heart when I sing and played. Without Jon on stage i was a lost soul at times and the team initially felt helpless as I would cry at times at the back stage after an emotional performance. I miss Jon the first year when I went back to my music roots. I hated the piano how it sounded but eventually work took the better half of me as things settled down with more appointments into our diaries.

"Why don't you dance with me? I can teach you" Yi Ren offered one day. It's a way to express yourself too besides we can perform together if you are up for it. Yi Ren suggested one fine evening over dinner as he probably heard from the team I was just again hiding in the dressing room recomposing my self after another emotional performance.