Chapter 14: Hidden Scar

I've arrived just on time for my sweet surprise for Eun So. It's his 20th birthday today, a few months since he moved out from the orphanage. He never met his mom but still I wanted to celebrate his birthday just like a little brother, that's why I brought him his favorite mocha flavored cake. I wanted it to be his special birthday before I migrate to the States. Before I leave him behind.

I knocked on the wooden door and twisted the doorknob as I entered the dance practice room. The faint smell of sweat surrounded the room as both him and a familiar guy rested at the corner of the room while gulping in their mineral water.

"Surprise! Happy Birthday Eun So!" I exclaimed with the candles' flames dancing on the tip of the candle. I began to sing Happy Birthday while he closed his melancholic eyes and inhaled deeply. "His wish remains the same.", my inner voice replied secretly. He always wanted to find his mother after his mother left him in the public playground at around five years old.

I looked back at the familiar man wearing a grey t-shirt and loose jogging pants. I smiled at the camera, assuming that he was taking a picture of me and Eun So. I gestured to him to join me and Eun So.

We sat on the wooden dance floor and waited for someone to start the conversation. Awkward. We just looked at each other, hesitant. I decided to break the ice. I looked at the familiar person beside me. "I think I've seen you before. Have we met?"

Eun So replied, "Oh, he's the new member of the dance crew. Maybe you two haven't talked before. He is Yun Shin, my best friend since high school."

I smiled at him as he avoided my gaze. "Nice to meet you. I'm Seong Sang Mi. Guess we'll see each other a bit more, right?"

"Yes, I guess so," he answered in a soft voice.

Yun Shin remained silent while Eun So and I talked casually. The feeling of guilt arose. An idea popped in my head. "How about we form a trio? Eun So, Yun Shin, and I? What do you say guys?"

Eun So's eyes brightened up with joy. "That sounds like a good idea. We can create our own choreography before the end of spring. Yun Shin, are you in?"

He lowered his eyes as he thinks of it, "I'm up to it. He can help me with a different dance style. Other than that, I can make sure that he won't suddenly trip and fall all of a sudden. I'll make sure that he won't faint and hit his head on the floor."

I couldn't explain this sudden spark I felt as we both look into each other. I suddenly felt weak from his soft smile which complimented his chubby cheeks and soft brown hair.

There's one thing though that I couldn't understand from Eun So's statement before. "If ever you'll meet Yun Shin, try to avoid any physical contact with him. His trauma keeps repeating whenever someone touched him. He trusts me and his friends but I don't know if he could trust you too."

***

*One week later*

I rubbed my eyes as I reached my phone and looked at the clock. It's Yun Shin, but who's Seong Sang Mi?

After dreaming about Yun Shin, confusion arises as it reaches its peak. Is it really possible for a person to have more than one alternate self from their world? I couldn't be Lee Mi Ra in Dong-Yul’s world and turn into another person in Yun Shin and Eun So's world.

I stood up from the lower bunk bed and looked at myself on the square mirror hanging on the wall. My skin looks clearer and smoother than before. Some of the pinple marks faded and the tone of my face and my neck are well balanced.

"There's hidden beauty in you, Mia. It's just not noticeable because of puberty.", my inner voice out in my head.

Even my roommates noticed the little changes in my appearance. Before, I really didn't like to follow those skin care routines because they're time-consuming yet now I'm getting the hang of the skin routine Dong-Yul recommended.

Elisha widened her eyes. "Woah, I thought you weren't fond of skin products? Look at these, they're new. And a lot."

She continued, "Something's odd. How come you're suddenly into skin care routine? How come?"

I looked for the right words before answering back. "My parents gave me these so that I'll become a little bit prettier." My roommates keep on asking me these questions often.

"Wow! You've just started a skin care routine a week ago, but you're blooming already."

I stood up from my chair and brought out a printed copy of the reading material assigned to us. I've already read this multiple time so that I could understand the topic and express this with my own words before the reporting later. "The Metamorphoses", I muttered under my breath.

I'm confused because the story mentioned that after Gregorio Samsa woke up, he transformed into an insect. Becoming frightening in the eyes of his sister. Still, she tried to care for Gregor. Yet, she wanted him to be gone for good and treat him as an insect. A pest which caused her suffering."

***

I've collected the words in my head before expressing my opinion, "People change as you transform in their presence. Metamorphosis is a process where a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly. What if his transformation was symbolic?"

I noticed their confused expression on their faces. I continued, "They'll always look at your transformation. But once they'll discover the dark side of your transformation, they'll run away from it, treat it harshly when they can't even endure their final stage which appears to be one of the most beautiful moments of all."

I didn't expect that I would say something deep about this story. But then again, it's my own perspective so I wouldn't say that my statement is correct. I hope that ma'am Anne will understand my point. It felt right to say it.

My phone suddenly buzzed in one of my lockets. I slowly took out my phone yet it suddenly rang. It's Dong-Yul sunbae.

Dong-Yul, this isn't the right time.

I raised my hand, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to interrupt but may I take this call outside?"

She raised an eyebrow, "Well, you've already interrupted your groupmate's reporting so please do."

Dong-Yul-ssi, why does it have to be now when I have a presentation to report?

I went outside of the classroom and answered the call, "Dong-Yul sunbae, I'm really busy right now. I have an oral reporting right now, why do you have to –"

"Have you practiced? I've already given you sufficient time to rest. Maybe we could practice today after your class?"

"Today? I'm available. There aren't any heavy requirements today."

"Alright, I'll tell the driver. If ever you see him, remind him as well so that he won't forget."

"Okay, just wait for us there later. I'll hang up now."

"Okay. Well, I'll meet you later." Before I could reply, the bouncy beap tone echoed in my ear. He already hung up.

Right, I almost forgot that we'll focus on dancing today. We'll practice today but I'm not used to showing him my dance yet. I'm not fully prepared for today. I haven't danced for a long time in public.

After a few minutes of reporting, the school bell rang and we were all dismissed.

I went down the flight of stairs hurriedly, until I felt a sudden pain in my knee. If it wasn't for the accident, I would've been able to run faster down the stairs. I sat for a while on one step and placed a cold water bottle on my knee. There was a familiar figure at my front. I slowly shifted my gaze on the figure who was smiling so brightly.

"Mia, did you trip? Sir Justin messaged me to bring you to his place. Let me check if you have any scratches."

I shook my head. "Don't worry, I didn't trip. My knee just hurts every once in a while because of an injury before. I can do it, it's just practice sir Victor."

He lent out his empty hand, "If that's the case, try to stand up and go directly to my car. You go first, I have some files to handle."

I grabbed his hand for support and bowed a bit. "Okay. I'll just wait for you there."

I wore my red headphones, looking at the view outside, playing calming music. Before I knew it, my sight became blurry from the heaviness of my eyelids. I closed my eyes, holding onto the peace I have right now.

***

I'm standing in front of Jimin with his cold eyes. He didn't flinch for a bit, only a gaze that left scared. We're surrounded in a huge practice room, with a faucet behind him.

Why is he looking at me like this now? His eyes are looking at me with despair and sorrow. "Yun Shin, why are we here?"

"I'm sorry. I-I'm truly sorry. I couldn't bear the sight of blood. It reminded me of what happened in the past."

I focused my gaze on Jimin. "Let me help you move on from the past. You can trust me but you have to tell me, please."

Suddenly, rapid flows of water appeared, flowing from the events. He stood there, frozen. I tried to run to him but my feet were stuck to the ground.

Water filled the whole room, I swam up to breathe in air, but he was still underwater. I held my breath and swam back into the water.

He looks unconscious as I reach for his empty hand. He looks peaceful yet sad. As soon as I was about to reach his hand, I was pulled back by a string attached to me.

***

A sudden stop woke me up. It was all a dream. Who is she? The person who knew Yun Shin and Eun So?

I stepped out of the vehicle and saw Dong-Yul-ssi's vibrant smile. "Well, it's been a week, I hope you're ready?"

I smiled back, "Of course, I had a great rest over the week."

We went to the backyard of the apartment. "This is where we'll be practicing for the meantime. So, let's do some stretching and warm-up exercises before you'll dance."

After some easy stretches, we ran around the backyard around five times. Then we did 20 push-ups and a minute plank.

"Dong-Yul-ssi, I'm already tired. Let me rest a bit."

As I let my body rest on the cemented ground, posture slumping itself. Suddenly, he lifted me off the ground.

"No resting. Rest when we're finished," he said while laughing with his bunny smile.

"I'll start the music. Be prepared to freestyle."

"Freestyle? I thought that you're going to judge me with the dance I prepared?"

"I'll look upon it later. Now, I'll join you in freestyling for now. When I give you a song to dance to, you should at least try to show some unpredictable moves and not stiff moves. Even if it seems funny or incredible in front of somebody's eyes."

He played on Bang Bang Bang by Big Bang. Even though it just started, I could feel my feet tapping with the rhythm.

I swayed my body side by side, with different footwork that I could think ok. My feet swiftly change their position while I do some basic popping moves I know by heart.

Dong-Yul was fantastic as always. He always shines in his own freestyle. His body freely moved to the beat, even showing both his funny and cool styles.

As it reached the chorus, both of us did the same choreography with Big Bang. It was so fun. But it had to end after the first chorus.

"Good job Mia. I could see that you were enjoying yourself. Now, let me see the dance you've prepared."

I quickly played the song I sent to Jungkook on his phone. It was Blackpink's As If It's Your Last. He sat on a monobloc chair, crossing his arms waiting for me to start.

I moved with every step accurately and precisely. I paid attention to the small mistakes I made while dancing, hoping that I wouldn't look too bothered.

After I finished the whole choreography, he clapped a bit. "Well, I could say you have minor mistakes transitioning from one step to another. But, I wouldn't notice them if you hadn't looked so obvious. And it seems like you're not really enjoying it. Tell me, why aren't you enjoying it?"

I couldn't answer. I don't know what to say. I'm not a great dancer anymore. Those days were over for me.

He continued, "You have strong fundamentals after freestyling a while ago and when I saw you dance in timezone. But, you lack confidence. If you have all the skills but lack confidence in yourself, you won't be able to own the stage. Alright? That's all I'm asking, regain your confidence."

I remained speechless. He's right, I lost my confidence before. It faded after my last encounter with Anthony.

"Mia, I feel that there's a reason why you've lost your confidence. Tell me, what happened?"

My voice trembles at the words I wanted to say, "I... I became an underground dancer before. But after my fight with my best friend, Anthony, everything turned upside down. He never talked to me ever since. My knee injury is a reminder that I couldn't dance any complex moves anymore. I'm only limited to a few moves. I can't bring back the confidence I had before because -"

I hadn't noticed that heavy tears started to flow from my eyes. I tried to hide my face, sobbing as quietly as possible. I didn't want Dong-Yul-ssi to worry.

"You can tell me, Mia. I'm here to listen to every word you'll say. I'll try to understand."