Chapter 24: It’s too soon.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to your gorgeous penthouse,” I awed making my way inside.

It was something I could only ever dream to own.

Mimicking Denise I proceeded to wear the cute fluffy bunny slippers placed neatly on the shoe stand near the entrance. Denise had specifically picked them out for me, claiming that I reminded her of bunnies sometimes.

I would blame that on my front two teeth.

“Well I chose it; how could it be anything but fabulous?” she winked heading inside and placing her purse on the white center table.

I roamed my eyes around the magnificent place habitually and absentmindedly like every time I came here.

My gaze swept over the wide white tiled floors to the fancy artificial white ceiling with dim yellow lights bordering the perimeter. The crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling just above the center table glowed because of the small bulbs attached to its frame.

The two large leather sofas placed on either side of the center table was perfectly stainless and had a gloss covering it like it was brand new, nonetheless its ivory shade made me hesitate to take a seat, afraid to dirty its perfection.

Sighing at my stupid thoughts, I took a seat opposite to Denise who lied on the other sofa, disregarding my discomfort as simply something which I would eventually get used to. It always took me a while to behave normally in this luxurious house.

Placing my own black purse on the contrasting grey side table, careful of the costly modern structured lamp sitting there, I took a Hershey’s kiss from the bowl kept on the center table which seemed to have a never-ending supply to it. I often took handfuls from their and yet every time I came back it was full to the brim.

Everything was exactly the same since the first time I entered this place.

It still held a cold luxurious ambience to it.

“Can we directly go up to your room?” I asked, the pristine place daunting me and making me feel uncomfortable. I chose to look out through the glass doors which led to the balcony filled with flowers and beyond which the beautiful blue sky could be seen. The only thing in this room which made it seem like someone lived here and even then, the credit should be given to Denise’s boyfriend and not her.

Ryan always liked gardening and since they both moved in here together, he has claimed the balcony as his, and completely off limits to any change.

“How about we have a snack first and then do the project?” she asked while already heading towards the kitchen through the hallway on the side.

This part of the house had mild yellow hues sporting the walls while the flooring remained the same.

There were small carvings done on the walls. If one carefully paid attention to it they could even make out the different array of flowers that surrounded little messages inscribed in them. The messages had been chosen by Denise. It comprised of random words to movie dialogues to famous quotes anything which had ever inspired her, was on this wall.

“I know you love this wall and so do I,” Denise said a little ahead from me in the corridor as she stared at it too.

“Of course, I adore it. It’s so pretty and meaningful. I wish it wasn’t in a corridor so that I could look at it all together like a painted canvas,” I chimed in, the thought always there in my mind.

“Now where’s the fun in that?” she laughed and then added, “Someday I’ll tell you a secret about it.”

This caused me to look at her to find her already looking back at me with a secretive smile playing on her lips.

“What are you talking about?” I asked confusion playing on my mind causing me to look back at the wall as if it could answer my question.

“Nothing, have patience and you will get to know soon,” She said skipping ahead of me.

I already know that I can’t force it out from her if she doesn’t want to tell me. So, maybe I’ll just have to wait. Thank god I am used to this behavior of hers or else this suspense would have eaten me alive.

Sighing and shaking my head at her antics I chuckle and follow her into the kitchen.

Ryan was there inside, rummaging through the double door gigantic fridge probably looking for something. When he turned around, I saw him holding a chocolate mint ice-cream tub.

“Hey babe, Hi Scarlet,” He greeted, while making his way to the silver bar stool by the white marble counter.

“Does anyone of you want some?” he asked as he scooped some ice-cream in his spoon.

“I am good,” I said while opening a drawer where I knew some chips would have been stored.

“Ry, when did you come back?” Denise asked making her way beside him to taste the ice-cream which he fed her through his spoon.

“About an hour ago, I didn’t want to disturb your girl time so, I didn’t come to meet you before.”

I smiled at them as she proceeded to sit on his lap but avoided kissing him in front of me. It was a known fact that Ryan was absolutely against PDA, hugs and other affections were alright but kissing was a big no.

“So Scarlet, are you dating someone right now?” his question was innocent but it bit right into me.

Denise mumbled something along the words like stupid whilst glaring at him.

“What? Last I heard from you was that Alex broke up with her,” his words again seemed to hit me, this time straight to the heart.

What should I tell him?

That I am fake dating someone innocent to get revenge on all my exes who had broken my heart. And let’s not forget I am messed up enough to maybe still like my ex.

“It’s complicated. I think I should leave now,” I said while moving out of the kitchen as I felt my shoulders become heavy and jumbling thoughts filling my head.

Why didn’t I confess to Andrew that day?

Why am I such a wimp?

He deserves to know the truth then what stopped me from speaking it?

It’s been two days since I last met him at the park. I have been in touch with him through calls at night but besides that I always find an excuse to avoid meeting him.

It’s too soon.

I need enough time to prepare myself to confess to him and to let him break up with me. He needs someone better and there is no denying that.

“Scarlet stop!” Denise shouts as she comes running after me while I hastily pick up my purse from the table and move towards the exit to find some peace and quiet, alone at home.

“I will tell the security to stop you from leaving and cause a scene in the lobby if you try running away from me,” she threatened making me pause from wearing my shoes. I know that’s exactly what she would do if I try to escape from her.

“We talked about this Scarlet, stop running away and face the reality. I promise it will be good for both you and him. He will not hold it against you I can assure you that,” She slowly said while turning me around and making me look at her.

“How can you be so sure Denise? Why do you think he will understand me and not hate me for what I did to him?” I shriek slumping down and sitting on the floor.

Feeling my eyes moisten I dabbed at them and whispered, “I am a bad person Denny. I didn’t tell him the truth when I should have and I continue to fake date him but I don’t want to hurt him. I lost my chance of making things right!”

“No Scarlet, you didn’t. Stop making excuses. Everyone makes mistakes and so far, you have only given him happiness and he hasn’t even confessed to you yet or kissed you therefore I conclude that you guys haven’t been serious enough, we can still fix this. You only have to trust me and explain everything to him and it will all be fine,” she said as she removed the brown locks falling over my face.

She didn’t sound like the usual troublemaker she was, instead I could see her manipulating and negotiating skills resurfacing which she must be learning in her business class.

“But I can’t take more guilt of hurting him,” I mumbled like a little kid.

“There is nothing that can stop him from hurting but you can minimize the pain if you disclose the truth to him earlier,” she desolately said.

I was scared of the effects my action would have on him; Denise didn’t know the broken Andrew I knew of. She didn’t get to see his painful past.

You don’t understand. It’s not that simple!

I wanted to shout it out at her but I knew she didn’t deserve that, after all she was just trying to help me.

My shoulders shuddered and she held me in a much-needed hug while I tried to stop my tears from breaking their barriers and flowing out. I didn’t want to cry and feel weak.

I couldn’t be weak.

That only leaves you more vulnerable to more pain.

But I wasn’t used to this feeling of guilt, having always been sheltered and protected under Blu’s supervision.

I should have listened to Blu.

I need to have a talk with her and put my dumb ego aside to get her to help me.

I guess she had been right like always and is probably the only person to help me, but an unknown fear grips me, what will happen if even she can’t help me get through this?

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Illustris ❤