Chapter 27: I love him.

Deciding that now is not the time to ponder on these questions I quickly try escaping him by saying, “I should go, this is not right. I can’t talk to you right now.”

“Why? So that you can go back to your fucking boyfriend?” he defiantly indicted anger dripping through his words.

That immediately halted all my movements as I stared at him in astonishment. I don’t know how he knew about Andrew when I hadn’t even brought him on campus even once, and I had not even seen Alex for so long then how did he know about him? To top it all Andrew wasn’t even my boyfriend!

Schooling my emotions, I haughtily argued, “So, that is why you are back huh? What are you- stalking me now?”

He laughed a weird mocking undertone to it, something I had never heard him use on me before, “You think I’ll stoop so low as to invade your privacy. I wouldn’t do that to you. I got to know about that dickhead by chance and I care about you that’s the only reason why I showed up to warn you about him.”

“Don’t call him that. If you cared you wouldn’t have broken up with me! Don’t try to fool me I know you are back because of some ulterior motives. What is it, a bet?” Fisting my hands tightly and controlling my anger I gritted through clenched teeth.

The day was still pleasant as the sun shone down on us. It was bright but not very hot and it didn’t seem like the weather would hinder this argument even if lightning struck right now.

We were both letting out our pent-up frustration and maybe that was what we needed to do, to let go.

He grunted, raking his hand through his blonde locks as his eyebrows creased and eyes glared at me but he looked away as if to cool him down before looking back at me swiftly.

The piercing above his right eyebrow glinted sharply as he snarled, “Why would you believe me? I am the guy who broke your heart but doesn’t it seem weird Scarlet that even then I am the one without a girlfriend while you moved on so easily.”

That was exactly what I didn’t want him to bring up. It hurt as it reminded me of the mistakes I had done. That was the character I portrayed now, of a player. I planned to become that and yet now all I feel is disgust when he says it to me directly.

Taking advantage of my weakness he moves forward and leans down so that he can look directly in my eyes. I can see the anger lit in his green eyes as he sardonically drawls, “So tell me kitten, were you cheating on me with him that you started dating him just after we broke up, because it seems like it.”

That was my breaking point I couldn’t take his bullshit any longer. It’s one thing to question my actions now, but I had always been a loyal person.

I shivered as hot scorching anger flowed through me, I can’t believe he said that. My eyes lit up in anger similar to his as I bit on my lips to stop them from quivering. I wanted to slap him hard but violence isn’t an answer to anything, so instead I dug my nails into my palms to stop myself from working on my violent thoughts.

“That’s it!” I snapped, “I can’t believe you just questioned my loyalty! So that’s what you really think of me, huh? Because if that’s the case then I am done with you and done talking to you.”

“I’ll only believe you are not guilty if you stop running away like one.”

I am furious at this point as he still has the audacity to continue this conversation. I want to rip his hair out, just so that I can get my point across into his thick skull.

“Tell me of even one incident which proves my infidelity and I’ll agree to your point,” I challenge him while pinning him down with a glare. I hope he can feel my rage through it.

“Doesn’t being with that asshole prove anything? You got together with him as soon as we broke up then what do you think it should seem to me or is it that now you get together with any and every guy?” he roared his nose flaring with anger and his face had turned a shade red. It looked like anger had turned him mad.

And maybe it did make him crazy because even though he didn’t say it he clearly indicated what he did mean by that.

By now I had passed the stage of being angry. Now I was just plain hurt. His words sliced through me and wedged straight into my heart. I knew that I had to stop him from saying something which would only result in both of us getting more pissed at each other.

“Stop! Okay? Just stop!” I shout at him, “Stop saying anything which you will regret later and just stop hurting me!”

I quaked; anger, sadness and frustration gushing through my already overworked body. I didn’t know what else to tell him that would make him understand that we were only causing troubles for each other.

And I just couldn’t fight with him anymore.

My outburst seemed to knock some sense into him as his face contorted to one of horror as if just now realizing what all he had said.

He opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it as if rethinking it again.

I don’t know why I didn’t just shout at him while throwing all sorts of profanities. Maybe that’s because I knew him or still know what goes on in his head and how he reacts to situations but that doesn’t mean that I would just suffer through it.

Although that did mean I knew ways to make things alright.

But I shouldn’t be making things alright I should be breaking them up and letting them go, then why wasn’t I able to do that?

This is the question that has been running through my mind since he showed up, just why couldn’t I let him go?

I looked up at him as I folded my hands in front of my chest feeling exposed as he stared at me through those emerald eyes.

It was like he had removed all the barriers blocking it so that I could read the emotions he couldn’t speak.

Hurt and sadness swirled in between the few flecks of blue in the pools of green. The raw emotions in them seemed to suck me in as I stared back at him, baring my soul to him, none of us saying anything.

And in them I found the answers to my questions.

Even after everything I realized that I didn’t like him.

No, it was more than that.

I love him.

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Illustris ❤