Preparing For The Big Day

I had my mama killing her self laughing talking about food. I seen the door open I seen my bae walk through when I seen her I started smiling from ear to ear because bae made my day to know she stayed by my side through my surgery. I woke up up I was happy to know she was there then I get a lot of calls from everyone. They made my day by checking on me and made me feel better. I was getting ready to leave I got my meds in all while I was out. And got me some food to go in my tummy I was hungry as hell. But I regretted it later because that food messed up my stomach I learned never eat fried foods after surgery.

I laid on the chair I had to use the bathroom. I was like dam I got comfortable now I got to go to the bathroom. I got up in went to crawling because me in crutches sucks together. Now I'm like dang who gone come by in see me and spend time with me. I get a call from my ex she checked on me and ask me do I need a rub down. Now mind you'll me and Maya are together now in we are going to see what we gone do. I started laughing at her like I'm good I'm happy with my soon to be wife.

In my eyes I know she older then me but in my eyes I love her with all my heart. I tell anybody this girl right here is mines and she not going no where. We came to the conclusion if you going to be together then we gone be together no games no lies and better communication between us. I think she gone be my rider for real for real cause everything else was just a game in jokes but I think this is what I want. You know I know behind this I'm gone always have somebody hating or gone try some dumb shit to get between us but I'm not listening to nobody it us against the world.

I know its going to be some mad souls but I don't care. I got my family behind me and my decision In that's all that matter. Cant nobody replace none of my family that's not even blood but they are too me because of they loyalty to me in my down times. I can say God have bless me with so faithful friends and family I do have in my corner. But I'm so ready for this special day for my bestie Karen and her big day that's coming up it's going down on this special day. I'm to ready for this day so we can be big petty. Of course my best friend is getting married come March. In I am happy in bless to be a part of the ceremony. In I finally came to the conclusion to settle down for better. But as the days goes by the devil has been busy. If it's not one thing it's another. Like Its getting frustrating to the point I feel like falling back to my old ways.

Its like everybody don't think about nobody But there self's. She breaks her back for everybody she works all day and night. She has always done her best for us. In now that we grown I told her it's time for her to let go.  I sat in listen to my music and pray that a miracle come through. I try my best not to fall back to my old ways. I try to give it to God in let him help me through this pain and suffering but the devil always in that ear. But the women I have became has changed a lot in me cause right now I would of had a sack. I try my hardest to be a God giving women that he made me to be. But I always have that one demon on that shoulder telling me it's time to sell it in make that money.  I have to pull a Scripture to read before I fall all the way down. I fall on my knees father if you can hear me please cover us in your blood. I prayed to the lord I had done received a letter from my friend. It writes hey Erica I have some good news for you today.

We have decided to go to to court so you can get what you deserve. I smile I was like this is God handling my hurt and disbeliefs. I sat here thinking to myself is there anybody out here to talk too when you need them. So eventually I just started talking to God like he was one of my best friends.

I sat here listening to Gospel I'm thinking to myself like I have a lot going on right now. If it ain't one thing it's another I ask God why do you send this my way? When is my break through coming? When the stress gone disappear? When is he gone help me through this storm?

These are the questions I ask God why me? Why now? Is all I can ask is why. I went to get prayed over I ask for a specific prayer. And when I tell you this women read me like a book and she don't even know me. She told me to be patient so I am learning. She came to me in told me to stop stressing over a lot of stuff that I ain't got no control over. I agreed with her she right I need to stop in give it to God. Me and the lady talk she said baby just cause you coming to a big lumps some of money not gone make you happy. You gone be out of one break don't mean you gone be out of the rest of them so just think about that.

Since that day I been to myself even after the surgery. I haven't really been feeling my best. I really wish I could be happy right now but I'm not. I keep a smile on my face I learned how to hide my pain very well. I just wish I never had that much pain in my life. But now I see how Lisa be feeling when it comes to everyday life of miserable and hurt. But since I learned to be saved I learned to be patient but patients is hard when you stressed. But I know my faith will grow everyday in will get better with my good God on my side. He always comes through when you need him the most in I love my God with all my heart.

I have came a long way when it came to giving my life to good. He have made me into a better women. He still working on me still he not done with me yet. He got a go ride with me in my faith. But you know out of the blue I get a text from the babes in it really made me smile because just to know you have a prayer warrior on your team is great. I got up from my sleep to have a message saying keep your head up in keep the faith.

I knew at least that one will forever by my side because the bond we have is worth the try. But you know I'm still waiting to see my God baby to get here. He gone be spoiled from top to bottom. I'm so excited when she say she going in to have him. Tonya is one of many kind you have to pay attention to because at the end of the day we got history together but I won't let that come between what I got now because I got my love but she carrying my love.

I'm on the waiting game because I got a wedding to go to that's going to be the best because I'm gone blow a lot of mines with the outfit I'm have on. I'm so happy that my best friend of 6 years in many more to come is getting what she been wanting. In she ft finally get to be a big cry baby standing hand in hand with her soul mate. Can't wait to throw these parties before the wedding and the I know the reception going to be the best.

Because we going all out for the best is in her wedding to her mate. I know this one thing it better be some pretty mf cause if they ugly I'm running. Lol but I got a mate but I don't know if she going yet. But I know I'm going to have a blast in so is the rest cause I'm gone be different. I got a big surprise for the bestie she just don't know we gone come through loud Lol. Eyes gone be on red in China style eyes. We gone have one of the best ceremony she gone remember this ceremony. But just know it's gone be live with Violet, Lil Fred and myself. Jr it's going to be one night we know she not gone forget, bol right be ready Karen we gone be live in effect. Time to set it off. Well of course we have a lot going on right now. My best friend getting married come March. Then I found love with a woman I think is perfect for me but I got this person on my mind. It's crazy when you can love somebody but you also in love with somebody else at the same time. I always seen myself with somebody that's just like me or close to what I want in a mate. But some how I found myself in a twine with two people. It's crazy but you know God don't make mistakes. But I know in life things happen for a reason but this reason got me in a lost for words with these two.