MAKE LIKE A TREE AND FUCKING RUN!

~~<<3rd PERSON POV>>~~

Y/n: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Y/n screamed as he, Darkness, and their new temporary companion, Emerald, were running away from a charging beast known as the Ogre.

Emerald: how are we gonna lose it!? it's been hot on our tail for a while now and you look like you're about to collapse.

She says as she points out that Y/n looks like a fat kid running on a treadmill.

Darkness: I see something up ahead!

They all look into the distance to see a swamp that had an enormous cave at the end. The Ogre then roared as it flung trees at the trio. A tree landed in front of them as they skid to a halt before running around it.

Y/n: we need something to slow it down!

Emerald: How!?

Y/n: um..... oh! I got it!

He exclaims as he summons a glue gun, but not just an ordinary glue gun, a glue gun that shoots out sticky balls of glue. He infused it with ice magic as he turned around to shoot at the Ogre's legs, but to his surprise, he was met with the Ogre who is glaring into his soul as it roared at him.

Y/n: Holy shit... I need new pants- I-I mean, Take this, you oversized Onion!

He shoots at its feet as the first shot had halted the ogre as its foot was stuck on the glue before it got encased in ice. He fired several more shots before he caught up with the other two as they headed towards the swamp.

Y/n: that should slow him! In the meantime, we need to kill that bitch before it kills us.

Darkness: maybe we could make a trap?

Emerald: a trap sounds good. But can we do that?

Y/n: one way to find out.

When they finally reached the swamp, they were then greeted with the smell of shit and dead carcasses.

Y/n: my God! That's a smell...

Emerald: I think I'm gonna puke...

Darkness: guys look.

They look at what Darkness had pointed out to them to see several bones of animals and an eaten leg of a lion in the cave. They look around more before seeing more things like armors of fallen adventurers and human skeletons scattered around the mud pit that was the size of a whole pond.

Emerald: wait, don't Ogres usually live in swamps? So, doesn't that mean-

Y/n: we just found where it lives.

Then, a distant roar could be heard as they felt minor tremors after it.

Y/n: shit, it's coming! We need a plan, ASAP!

Emerald: umm, how about we use the mud to keep it in place? Maybe then we could deal in some proper hits.

Y/n: great idea! Darkness, go be bait!

He looks to his side to see his crusader friend had already disappeared when she heard him say the words "Darkness" and "bait". he gives Emerald a mana potion as she drinks it while Y/n drinks his own. After that, they hid behind some bushes as they wait for the Ogre. After a few moments, a roar was then heard again as the Ogre had just arrived at his domain as he sees Darkness standing there, sword in hand.

Darkness: hey! Look at me, Mr. Ogre! Why don't you crush me in your big meaty tough hands!!

She says as she blushes and breathes heavily. Y/n faced palmed as he looks at the scene unfolding in front of him while it confused Emerald as to why Darkness was acting like she's about to climax.

Emerald: d-does she-

Y/n: yes, yes she does.

The Ogre looked at her before roaring. Darkness turned around and led the Ogre into the mud pit. It followed her into it as she got stuck in the mud. The ogre was about to take another step but fails to as vines started rising out of the mud and latching onto its legs before bringing it down deep into the mud, holding the Ogre in place. A grapple hook lands in front of Darkness.

Y/n: Hold on to the hook!

Darkness holds on the hook as she was then pulled out of the mud. After she reached solid ground, she lets go of the hook as it disappears.

Emerald: alright, it's stuck.

Y/n: time for phase 2! hit it until it dies!

He exclaims as he summons light arrows and launches them at the Ogre. Emerald sent arcs of green light at the Ogre. They attacked it as long as they could as they were drinking mana potions in between their attacks. The ogre tried its best to deflect the attacks with its club, but it seemed ineffective since it could only deflect so much. After a bit, they finally run out of mana potions as they were now close to depleting their mana.

Emerald: *huff* *huff* I'm almost at my limit...

Y/n: *huff* don't worry, I'll take it from here.

He says as he stared down the Ogre. The Ogre was bleeding profusely as its blood had now mixed into the mud. Y/n got a running start before rocket jumping onto the Ogre. The Ogre used its remaining strength to swat Y/n away with its bleeding arm. Y/n summoned his stand as it took the brunt of the attack as it flung him away, but close enough for his ability to work. The Ogre then roared in pain as an invisible force shattered its shoulder. Y/n held his shattered arm as he tried to get on the ogre again by summoning his grappling gun again and grappling his way onto the Ogre. He stands on the Ogre's collar bone as he held onto the Ogre's hair to keep himself from falling.

Y/n: hi there ya big dumb bitch. You caused us some trouble, so I think it's time to pay you back for that.

The Ogre ignored him as it used its last working arm to try to smash Y/n but Y/n jumped up while still gripping onto its hair, dodging the fist only for it to smash into the ogre's face. Now with a broken and bruised nose, Y/n lands back onto its collar bone as he summons his stand to deal the finishing blows.

Y/n: sayonara bastard!!!

He yells as [Making Mirrors] reels his fist back before yelling its war cry.

[Making Mirrors]: Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro!!!

The Ogre's head flung back as it was all bloodied and beaten to a pulp, but that didn't stop the barrage as Y/n still didn't let go of its hair. He was flung above its face as he continued to pummel it to death. But at the spur of the moment, he screamed.

Y/n: WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

The two looked on as the beat down ensued. Emerald was slightly afraid, while Darkness was in awe at the sheer strength of Y/n's ability.

[Making Mirrors]: Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro! Aro!!!

With one last powerful hit, the ogre fell backward into the mud with Y/n in tow. A tremendous splash of mud was then created as Emerald yelped in surprise before hiding behind Darkness to avoid getting hit by the mud. It was now over; the Ogre was finally dead, but Y/n still hadn't come out of the mud pit yet, which worried the two.

Emerald: Y/n? A-are y-you okay?

Darkness: Y/n say something!

A moment of silence passed as their worries grew more, but then suddenly, his hand shot out of the mud as he tried to pull himself out of it to breathe as he was slowly suffocating in it. The two panicked as Emerald tried to get him out by summoning vines that wrapped around his wrist before reeling him in with the help of Darkness. After more pulling, his head finally got out of the mud pit as he took a huge breath of air. After a few moments, and a lot of pulling, they finally got him out of the mud pit. Y/n was covered head to toe with mud as he laid in the ground motionless.

Darkness: Y/n, are you okay?

Y/n: .....

Emerald: Y/n?

The silence was all there was. The two looked to each other as they decide to flip him over to his back to see that he had fainted from the pain of his shattered arm and the exhaustion.

~~<>~~ ~~<>~~

After the whole Ogre situation, I had fainted as I succumbed to the exhaustion and the pain of my shattered arm. I opened my eyes to see Hikaru looking down on me.

Hikaru: Hey, sleepyhead.

She said as I noticed I was lying on her lap.

Y/n: ..... it's very weird, that the first thing I see when I wake up is myself looking down on me

Hikaru: not my fault you're the only thing I can copy.

Y/n: can you copy anything else?

Hikaru: if you reach a higher level then I can get the ability to turn back into myself again, well, only in your mind space. I'll still be an orb in the actual world.

Y/n: I guess that makes sense...

I say as I sit myself up, trying to figure out what to do while I wait for myself to wake up.

Hikaru: y'know, you can be risky sometimes.

Y/n: I am?

Hikaru: uh yeah. Like, every time you fight you always almost get yourself killed, like how you just fought the Ogre.

Y/n: well, sorry I guess? I mean, I just let the adrenaline take over and let it do its thing, so I think that's why I get reckless.

Hikaru: can you at least not try to kill yourself? It kinda worries me sometimes.

Y/n: really?

Hikaru: yes, I may have seen all the other users die for generations, but that doesn't mean that I'm desensitized by it. I'm not heartless y'know...

She says as she had looked hurt because I assumed she was used to people dying. It made me feel guilty, so I apologized.

Y/n: sorry... I didn't mean to make it sound like you didn't care about people's lives.

Hikaru: it's okay, I know you didn't mean it.

They stayed quiet for a while before Y/n faded out.

Y/n: looks like I'm waking up. See you later, Hikaru. Nice talking with ya.

Hikaru: yeah, just remember not to overdo it okay?

Y/n: I'll keep that in mind... probably-

I say but didn't get to finish as I faded too quickly. Hikaru sighed as she stood in the empty void where she was the only light in it.

Hikaru: such a reckless kid.

I groggily open my eyes to see all my teammates; including Emerald, staring at me as Aqua continued to heal me.

Y/n: wait, it's already night time? How long was I out?

Kazuma: a long time. Glad to have you back.

He says as snowy floated its way onto my forehead as I pet it.

Y/n: hey buddy.

After a few moments, Aqua then spoke up.

Aqua: and... there, you're all healed.

I sit myself up as I tried to move my arm to see if it was fixed, and indeed, it was.

Y/n: that's better.

I say as I got myself up from the ground before facing everyone.

Y/n: so, why don't we go get the reward?

~~<>~~ ~~<<3rd PERSON POV>>~~

After claiming the reward which was 800,000 eris. The group treated themselves to a feast as they used some money to buy a lot of food.

Y/n: so you're telling me, you got a mansion for us to stay in?

Kazuma: yup! Although we need to exorcize all the ghosts out of it before we can own it. Wiz was supposed to be the one to do it but I convinced him we can do it.

Y/n: I gotta say, that's quite the hustle.

Kazuma: Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive in this world.

Y/n: cheers, I'll drink to that bro.

They click their mugs together before downing it in one go.

Y/n and Kazuma: Ah!~

Emerald: um...

Emerald muttered as she was the only one not feasting. They noticed her reluctance, so they questioned her.

Y/n: what's wrong? Are you not hungry?

Emerald: n-no, no! I-its just that... is it okay for me to eat?

Darkness: of course, you helped us after all.

Y/n: yeah, if it wasn't for you, I would've fed Darkness to the Ogre and call it quits.

Darkness then squirms in her seat as she got turned on by his words.

Y/n: so why don't ya dig in, it's the least we could do for you.

Megumin: yes, as a fellow arch mage, I implore you to eat to your heart's content!

Aqua: yeah! Bring on the booze, baby!

Y/n: hey hey hey! We will not waste our money on booze! We still got a debt to pay!

Aqua: oh c'mon! Not even a little!?

Kazuma: yes, now sit down before the others hear you talking about booze. They can be persuasive when it comes to that...

Emerald looked at the group as they joked and ate, being as merry as they could be despite what the world has been dealing with them. She formed a small fond smile as she calmly ate her food.

Y/n: by the way, I haven't asked this but, are you at any parties?

Emerald: actually, no. I'm not affiliated with any parties at the moment. Why do you ask?

They all went silent as they processed what she said. After that, Y/n and Kazuma were now in the corner, discussing what to do with the information while the girls were still at the table.

Y/n: okay, you heard that right?

Kazuma: Yeah, I did.

Y/n: so you know what that means, right?

Kazuma: it means...

Suddenly the two gave each other a manly handshake as tears flowed out of their eyes.

Y/n and Kazuma: we no longer have only useless members!!!

Meanwhile, back at the table.

Aqua: Hey, you guys know what they're talking about over there?

Darkness: not a clue.

Emerald: me neither.

Megumin: they're probably just talking about boys stuff.

The three girls just nod while Emerald just sank into the seat as she nervously laughed. The two boys finally come back to the table as they informed Emerald about their proposition.

Y/n: so we heard you are not in any parties right now, right Emerald?

Emerald: yes, I did... why?

Kazuma: well, we've given this some thought and came to the consensus to... let you join our party.

Emerald: r-really!?

Y/n: yes, the more the merrier as they all say, so, you in or not?

Emerald thought it over for a bit before standing up from her seat and bowing.

Emerald: I look forward to working with you all.

The group looked at each other as they all smiled and raised their high into the air as they cheered.

Everyone: ALRIGHT! Welcome to the team!

After that, they partied the entire night away as they completely forgot about their debt and spent all the money on booze... again. After all the partying, and the crying of a certain assassin, the group called it a night and head to the showers. But when they were splitting up, Emerald had joined Kazuma and Y/n to the boys' bathhouse, which confused the fuck out of them since they thought she would be with the girls and not with the boys.

Kazuma: what are you doing here, Emerald? Aren't you supposed to be in the girls' bathhouse?

Emerald: what do you mean?

Y/n: uh, you're a girl, right?

Emerald: well, the thing is... I'm a boy.

Then silence. No one did anything, everyone stood still. The silence was deafening, but luckily Kazuma had broken the silence as he commented.

Kazuma: wow, didn't see that one coming. Right Y/n?

Y/n: ...

Kazuma: Y/n?

He looks at Y/n to see he had fainted on the spot while still standing on his feet.

Emerald: d-did he just-

Kazuma: yep, he's out cold.

Emerald: w-what do we do about him?

He asked as he sees Kazuma dragging Y/n by his towel as they enter the bath.

Kazuma: he'll be fine. He'll wake up, eventually.

Emerald: o-okay...

Emerald then followed them into the bath as Y/n woke up moments later after he had a breakdown as he said that his perception of reality had just been broken and now he fears the world for what it truly is or something like that. Also, while they took the bath, Emerald told them about himself. He was a son of a noble that lived in the far east. His parents were expecting their firstborn to be a girl but after they realized it was a boy, they decided to just double down and turn her into a girl which is why he was given the name, Emerald. After he told his parents that he wanted to pursue his dream of being an adventurer, his parents supported him to the fullest as they bought him all the things needed to be an adventurer. After that, he traveled his way to the city known as Axel and registered himself as an arch mage since he had a high affinity to magic. After he told the two about his past, they quickly finish up as they were now exiting the bathhouse. They were now standing around the fountain as they waited on the girls to finish.

Kazuma: they sure are taking their time.

Y/n: tell me about it...

After a bit of waiting, a silver-haired girl had strolled up to the three boys as she called out to their resident assassin member.

Chris: hey, you're finally back.

Y/n: Chris, hey. Do you need anything?

Chris: um, did you already forget? I had something to tell you.

Y/n: oh yeah... I forgot about that. Sorry...

Chris: it's okay, just come with me to somewhere more private, oh and bring Kazuma too.

Y/n: okay then.

He looked back to the two boys as he told them what was going on.

Y/n: hey Kazuma, Chris needs to talk to us about something important, we better follow her.

Kazuma: sure.

Y/n: you okay staying here by yourself, Emerald?

Emerald: I'll be fine, you two go on ahead.

Y/n: alright, stay safe while you wait for the girls to finish.

He says as he and Kazuma walk away with Chris as they find a secluded spot. After finding a relatively secluded alleyway, Chris turned to the two as she then spoke.

Chris: Okay, there's something I need to tell you two.

Kazuma: okay, go on.

Chris: okay... someone's after you all. Now I can't say who, but I can say that someone is going after you two and your group.

Y/n: really?

Chris: yes, so just a heads up, be careful. Oh, and keep an eye out for that recruit, you'll never know if that person could be the one after you.

Y/n: you mean Emerald? I mean, he doesn't look like an evil mastermind, so that would be unlikely.

Kazuma: but.... then again, when has life not fucked us over?

Y/n: true... okay, we'll keep it in mind. Thanks for the heads up, Chris.

But as he said that, she was gone. Gone like the wind.

Kazuma: w-where did she?-

Kazuma then noticed that Y/n had disappeared, and he was now the only one left in the dark alleyway.

Kazuma: Y/n? Y/n, you there? C'mon man, this isn't funny! Y/n? Y/N!?

Suddenly someone blew on his nape as they said.

Y/n: boo!

Kazuma: AAAA-

TO BE CONTINUED...