Chapter 20

(Warning - different types of abuse will be in this chapter, if you feel uncomfortable or are triggered by this I would recommend not reading it)

It has been six months since my mom died, since I cut all ties with the most important people in my life. I let my emotions back in two months after and that was probably the hardest part of the whole thing. I had to feel the pain of losing my mom all over again and then a while new pain of pushing the people I love away. I still haven't contacted anyone for a few reasons. I am embarrassed. I feel really bad. And most of all I am terrified they will hate me and never let me come back.

I really wish I didn't let that emotionless bitch take over for so many reasons. First of all because I really, really miss them. Secondly my grandparents suck: they are homophobic, racist, and abusive. Most of the abuse is verbal but there is also neglect. Some examples, they lock me in my room most of the time, my Windows are boarded up, I am not aloud to hang out with anyone, they barely let me eat (which doesn't really matter to me anymore since I am never hungry anymore) and they call me lots of rude names. I feel like I am fucking Harry potter and they are the Durselys the only difference is I don't live under the stairs.

Right now I am sitting on my bed staring at Rose's contact info, thumb hovering over the call button. I turned off my phone, got off my bed, threw on some sandals and quietly snuck out of the house. I made my way to the moment empty beach, tuck off my shoes and started walking the beach. Before I could over think and talk myself out of it I hit the call icon.

"Haze?"

"Yeah, hey Rose," I said sheepishly.

"Holy crap, I missed you so much. How have you been? When did you let your emotions in? Have you called the boys? How are the grandparents? Are you ok?"

I smile because she really hasn't changed one bit. "I missed you too, I should have called sooner. I am doing fine. I let my emotions back in a few months ago but I was to scared to call, I thought you guys would hate me," I am about to continue when she interrupts me.

"We could never hate you".

"Well thank you but don't interrupt me," I laugh. "No I have not called the boys yet, the grandparents are tradable, their new nickname is the Dursley's and I am ok-ish" .

"I am so happy you called but you need to call the boys, now," she orders. "We can talk when you get back."

"They aren't going to take me back," I say in an almost whisper, my voice cracking once or twice.

"You're joking right?" When I didn't answer she let out a sign and continued, "They obviously want you in their life, I talked to them after you left and they really miss you. They understand that it was hard and you were hurt. They would not even have to think, they would take you back in an instant" .

"I don't think my grandparents will let me leave," I cry.

"It's that bad?"

"Yeah," I let out a sick laugh then start to cry harder.

"Call the boys, they will know what to do," she orders again. "I love you".

" I love you too, I will call you later, " I say before I hang up.

As soon as I had up I get a text from my grandma, "where are you, get your ass home now".

"I'm at the beach, heading back now" I text back.

When I walked back into the house I got slapped across the face, "you know you aren't aloud to leave unless we give you permission to".

"I'm sorry I - I just wanted to get some air, s-so I went to the beach," she slapped me again.

"Well just for that your grounded for a month, one meal a day, no phone, and no leaving you room," she says holding out her hand for my phone. I looked at her hand then at my phone in my hand, if I have it to her I wouldn't be able to talk to the boys and leave this hell while for a month. Before she could do anything I ran right back out the door. I ran about a block before I stopped, this is a small town, I have nowhere to hide, so as quickly as I could, I pulled out my phone and quickly sent a text to Louis, "I'm sorry". I know I could have said something like "help me" but if something happens to me I don't want them thinking it was there fault that they weren't there sooner. Seconds after I sent the message I heard yelling.

"Hey back here young lady, you are in deep shit now," she yelled, storming up to me. I knew if she saw the text I would be even worse off and they would probably ship me somewhere or something. There was a car coming up, so I tossed my phone right where the wheels would go and watched the car crush it. "Why would you do that? Are you really that retarded?" She asked grabbing my arm and pulling me home.

"It slipped, I'm sorry," I say following her back to the house.

When we walked in the door she continued to pull me up to my room, "you left he house twice without asking, you didn't listen to me when I told you to give me your phone, then you three it under a car. You have been a real brat today. You will get three months in your room, no leaving, and one meal a week". It seemed something secured to her because her scowl turned into an evil smirk, "and maybe something a little extra".

She threw me in the room, and slammed the door shut, shortly after I heard the lock click. What else is she going to do to me? She is starving me and not letting me leave my room what else could there be? For the next three months I am stuck in here yet she still doesn't think that's enough. I will never be able to get out of this house.

I heard the front door open, grandpa is home from work. My grandfather is a very big man, he used to be a body builder but as he got older he had to cut down on the weights. He still lifts and is in exceptionally good health for his age, so when I say I was scared when I heard the door unlock and saw him come in only to close the door behind him was an understatement.

"So I heard you were bad today," he stated then grabs my wrist and throws me on the floor.

Before I could speak he grabbed my arm and yanked my body off my bed before kicking me in the stomach. He pulled his foot back again, and again, and again until I couldn't breathe... The air was knocked out of my lounges. I rolled on to my back so he couldn't kick my stomach anymore. He kicked my hip hard, harder then he had kicked my stomach. Then he kicked it again. The last time he kicked I could feel the pain throughout my whole body, I cried out.

"Get up," he ordered. I crawled over to the dresser and pulled myself up. As soon as I was on my feet a fist connected with my eye, and I fell back against the dresser. This time his fist connected with my jaw, then just under my eye and I was back on the floor. He kicked my stomach twice more before kneeling down and whispering, "I will see you in a week," in my ear before getting up and leaving me in my room, locking the door behind him. He just left me to cry in pain, in the darkness of my room.