Chapter 4: Getting Right With Self, Part 2

With a decisive nod, Hayden walked past the doughnuts. As she was loading her groceries into her car, she spotted a Quick Cuts in the strip mall across the street. She touched her ponytail, which didn't even capture all of her split ends. Then she hurried across the street and stepped into the small shop. All eyes were on her until a stylish white woman whisked her away to a chair, a look of horror on her face as she studied Hayden's head. Hayden just shrugged inwardly.

"Cut it off."

"All of it?"

"Leave me an inch." That was about the amount of her new growth. The hairdresser nodded in relief that she wasn't going to be given the task of flat ironing, curling, or otherwise trying to make her sandy kinks halfway acceptable. Hayden wouldn't miss it. The hair was over processed, dry, and pretty much beyond repair anyway.

After the cut, what was left curled softly with the help of proper moisturizers. The woman commented that it looked good, and it was the truth. Yet, Hayden just nodded. It didn't matter if it looked good. The point was to get rid of the bad so that there would be room for the good.

After leaving the strip mall and taking her groceries home, Hayden headed to a local gym. It was less than five miles from her house, which meant that she should be able to go to the gym even on a whim. In the past, she had always put off joining this gym because it was too hot to be working out, or it was too cold to be driving to a gym. However, the truth was that she just didn't want to look like a fat ass. Ignoring the sight of the toned bodies as well as the not so toned ones, Hayden walked up to the receptionist desk.

"I want a one-year membership, and I need a personal trainer, please. How much will that cost?" The receptionist gave the woman a surprised look as if thinking that fish didn't generally jump onto the hook.

"Let me get a member's representative." Hayden nodded. This was going to be one easy sale…

A buff Black man approached her with a folder in his hand. After introducing himself, he had her sit at a table where he proceeded to try to talk her into buying a membership. Hayden interrupted him.

"Sold. Explain what's in the fine print and then tell me where to sign." The man stuttered and then smiled broadly. Moments later they were shaking hands.

The price of the membership was on promotion and very fair, but it would still stretch her finances and didn't even include a personal trainer, since the facility only had employees who showed the members how to work the machinery. Then the sales rep explained that many personal trainers were members who brought their clients here to workout. The man looked around while Hayden watched him discreetly, wishing that he was a personal trainer. Not that she was the least bit interested in him, but his body appeared to be as close to perfect as humanly possible.

He waved his hand to a group of body builders lifting weights in front of a huge mirror. "Todd!"

The person that turned was far from the hulking figure of the other men. Todd jogged over to them. He was a White man of average height and build. Hayden couldn't see much of his physique as he wore workout pants and a loose fitting shirt.

"Todd, this is Hayden Michaels. She's looking for a personal trainer."

He shook her hand. "Hi, I'm Todd Crandle."

"You're a personal trainer?"

He just chuckled, not appearing offended by her apparent lack of confidence.

"Not just a personal trainer; I'm NCSF certified. I also have a Bachelor's of Science degree in Physical Fitness. But best of all, I'm not just some muscle head that wants to turn you into a female version of himself."

Hayden's head tilted as she digested his words, deciding that she liked what he had to say. Then the sales rep excused himself when he saw that Hayden had warmed to the idea of Todd.

"I have to warn you though," Todd continued. "I'm also a fulltime Firefighter and I just recently got married, so my schedule is pretty hectic. So if you're willing to work around my craziness, then I'll give you a break on my usual fee."

She perked up even more at that and discovered that Todd worked a 24-hour shift at the firehouse, and then had the next 48 hours off. She was far from rich, so it helped that he would cut her a break. So Hayden agreed to his terms.

Then they decided to meet at the end of the week at the butt crack of dawn. Todd insisted that she get a physical first and though it had been years since she had seen a doctor, it was just another thing that she needed to do in order to get right with herself. After leaving the gym, Hayden checked off a mental list in her head.

She picked up a newspaper and then headed for a small café. When the waitress asked her what she wanted to order, she indicated a cup of hot tea with lemon and a grilled chicken Cesar salad. Then she searched the want ads, circling several perspective part time jobs. She needed to get her finances together, and to do that she needed another job

~*~

I value my health, as I can't truly love myself without loving and inner-adorning the shine that encapsulates the magic of my soul.

Hayden stared at the words that she had written across her calendar. Did she believe the words? No… and that was pretty pathetic.

Her doctor's visit had not gone well—not well at all.

"Aren't you feeling… sick?" he had asked her with squinted eyes as he scrutinized her. She just shrugged and shook her head.

"Well Miss Michaels once you begin taking this medication you will realize that you were indeed sick…" he smiled, "because you will begin to feel tons better."

Hayden took her morning dose of diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol medicine. Well… at least she now had a doctor's note for why she had taken damn near a week off from work. See Boss Lady, I'm not just mooning away because some man dumped me. I'm really sick! Check out my A1C level. I should be freaking dead…