Chapter 12- The loop of past events

Most of us forget how grateful we are for just being born. We forget that many people don't even make it to their teens or even worse, some are just not able to open their eyes in this indifferent world. There are different aspects through which a person experiences their existence and these experiences are what makes us alive.

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My phone suddenly vibrated and I realized that I was still at Andrew's apartment. An unknown number flashed on the screen and I realized that I had many missed calls from the same number. I heard a sound and Andrew came out from the shower.

"Good morning Hyung did you sleep well?" he asked me while checking my temperature again.

"I'm glad you are fine now but your eyes are all puffy from that late-night crying, come on wash up and let's go to the company together," he suggested while drying his hair.

The smell of the shampoo mingled with his pheromones was sufficient to remove my drowsiness. But I had sworn not to let my pheromones be identified by any alpha again so why yesterday he was able to describe the exact same fragrance when he mumbled in his sleep.

"I'm sorry Andy but I have to go back since my Hyung is waiting for me?" I apologized and changed into my clothes.

This time he remained calm and didn't say a word. He glanced at me with somewhat sad eyes and told me that he will wait.

"After seeing your reaction yesterday I am sure that you had your own reasons so I will wait patiently until you are ready to open up," his warm smile at that time made my heart flinch.

I reached my apartment and was rather unsure of how I will start the conversation with Hyung. Maybe I can start by complimenting his work and then I will tell him that I took the wrong idea and then ultimately I will tell him about my past.

This was the order I planned. "I hope he doesn't disgust me," I thought this and then Andrew's face rushed into my mind.

"No! Andy has all the right to know about what happened to me that night so that there is no more misunderstanding, Of course, I am scared that he might disgust me but that's also obvious. Not every relationship is blessed like Taehyung Hyung and Alex."

As these insecurities ran my mind, I searched every room but Kiro Hyung(Aloha) was nowhere to be found. Then my phone rang again and it was the same number from the morning.

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I reached the hospital after I picked the phone call and there I saw my brother with a drip on one hand and beside him was his parents who once tried to bargain me to someone.

Apparently, he experienced a panic attack, maybe it was the time when I left the apartment. I was hesitant at first but then the nurse told me that he had been calling my name in a subconscious way.

"I have already accepted a lot of people from my past till now so let's not break the rhythm," I thought to myself and headed towards Hyung.

I sat beside him gently stroking his hand. I didn't greet or even glanced towards his parents. They both stood up and headed outside.

"Meet me at the hospital cafeteria Sarang, I know you don't even want to see our faces right now and all you feel is disgust but consider this our farewell,' his mother spoke before closing the door behind me.

Disgust1 Well my previous job has disgusted me so much that I am not sure where this word fits and implies the perfect meaning. I looked at Hyung and his pale face made me realize that how weak he looked as if a person starved for days. He was so busy and engrossed in the work that even I encountered him after weeks of moving into the apartment. He must have been busy working and who knows if he was eating properly or not? I even made the situation worse for him.

Once, he is discharged I will take good care of him and help him replenish his strength. We can always sort out the things later. I gently patted his head and adjusted the blanket over him. I then prepared myself to meet the person who was the culprit behind starting my sorrowful life.

I entered the cafeteria and saw his mother sitting there. I didn't want to face her but since this was our last encounter I had to end this today. I sat there and diverted my eyes in another direction.

"You have grown up into a fine man", she spouted those words that seemed like a dagger.

A fine man? Could you please elaborate on the definition of that? Because I'm afraid that my tragic past leads any scope for that word to enter my dictionary, I thought to myself. Still, not facing her directly I questioned her, "What is that you wanted to talk about?"

She probably looked at me and then spoke, "I guess you don't even want to look at this face of mine."

She then sighed and started crying, " I..I don't know if this is the way I should do it or if I will ever get the opportunity to meet you but I want to apologize, I want to apologize for everything wrong that I have done to you. I ruined your childhood and almost your adulthood too," she started sobbing and continued, "I...no we..we were blinded by money. But sooner I realized that I had failed as a parent, you...you were the perfect child a parent could desire but we didn't value you and always let you feel lowly. You could only rely on Kiro and he also did the same. Today also even if his parents were beside him, he only called your name. Sarang," she halted after speaking my name because this time I was looking at her directly.

As soon as she spoke my name, I flinched for a second. I felt disgusted because she called me out by my name but furthermore I was curious to have a look at her. Yes, so this is what disgust feels like. I wanted to know what kind of expression she was making while calling my name. And to be honest I was shocked when I analyzed her face. She was crying but her expression was delicate after calling my name. She smiled a bit and extended her hand but I immediately retracted my hand. I didn't want to feel nostalgic while touching her. I erased the touch of her hand years ago and also that she was once my so-called mother.

"I see," she clenched both her hands tightly and continued speaking, "I know I am in no position to demand an apology but please just do one thing and it is not to hate us. When you ran away that day, the relation between Kiro and us totally changed and our distance increased with increasing time. He moved out as if he was only living with us for your sake. He didn't even give us his apartment number or any address. He only texted when he wired us money and he rarely returned home. You see everyone has a limit they must protect. Mine was my pride and in order to protect that I lost my son and you too." she paused for a second and pressed her lips together and then she gulped.

I don't know why she was saying all those things or again was there an ulterior motive behind this so that she could make her relations good again with her son. But all these years of experience taught me that you can never judge a person completely. Above all, why was she here apologizing alone? Where is her husband? He was also an accomplice in all the wrongdoings.

"Mam do you know what my limit is right now, it is that I want to ignore you by every means possible. And if you are concerned about your son or like you mentioned me too, then I can assure you that we are adults now and perfectly capable of taking our own decisions. So, I suppose that you respect that and if you think that apologizing to me will make your relations good with Hyung then best of luck with that." without saying anything else I bowed to her and shifted the chair while I prepared myself for leaving.

"Wait! Wait! Sarang, Don't you want to know about your real parents?" her voice echoed in my ears as if reciting a chant. I didn't want to turn back at her, I was exhausted, I had already recalled enough of my past and thought that this was the last thing I would encounter but why is the number of things increasing?

I don't have the strength to answer her now, actually, I am too scared to even imagine. Once I found out that they were not my true parents that thought never crossed my mind that what my real parents would have looked like? I was too scared to imagine that what if they had abandoned me like most of the omega parents do? And hence without replying to her question, I headed towards the door without halting.

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"Sir, Mr.Kiro has not come to work today?" Mr. Andrew's secretary replied.

"The other colleagues said that he had to visit the hospital for an emergency. Don't worry it is not related to him but instead, his Hyung is hospitalized," she added further.

To be continued.....