The Letters

Am I dreaming?Is this really?

All of this is real, I leave the room and go outside to read my letter.

'Dear Nomalanga, my beautiful daughter, my everything

I wrote this letter with pain in my heart, I knew one day you would leave me but I didn't think it would be too soon, I remember when I held you in my arms for the first time, it felt so unreal yet right, I didn't regret keeping you, I knew I had to live for you. I also know that you were ashamed of me but I had no choice, I felt dirty and hated myself but I had to be strong for you, I had always dreamt of becoming a doctor but after I finished matric, I couldn't continue with my studies because then you'd have to suffer, I had no one to leave you with, Langa came at a later stage and apologized but I didn't want you to meet him because I was afraid he would take you from me. I thought it was me and you against the world but I was wrong, you broke my heart when you wanted to leave but that day I couldn't fetch you because I was raped by police officers because of my job.I had no reason to live anymore, you seemed happy to leave and your happiness means a lot to me, but your words hurt more "You are dead to me" I couldn't tell you what happened, hence I decided to take my life, take good care of yourself,remember that you are BEAUTIFUL AND SMART, DON'T EVER DOUBT THAT, I will always love you and now I am with you always.'

I feel something and it's a necklace, she got it from Langa when they were dating, I can't stop crying.

'She is gone and it's my fault'

I killed my mom.

Gogo:"I already buried her, we can go together to see her grave."

Me:"I'd love that."

Death is a thief that comes without warning but this time my mom gave herself in, she couldn't handle it hence she gave death the will to take her.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Langa's Narration

I feel guilty like I failed her and now my child does not have a mother, I remember when I first met Noma, she was so beautiful, she had dreams of becoming a doctor that's what I loved about her, she was so ambitious until we slept together, it felt wrong yet right. I promised her the world, a house and a beautiful wedding. When she was pregnant her family came to report the matter and I denied the pregnancy because my parents would not let me finish my studies.

We were okay after explaining my reasons however her parents chased her away and I lost contact with her, that's when I met Lihle, she reminded me of Noma. I could not sleep for days and then I graduated and got a job I found her but also found out she was a sex worker and I couldn't accept that, I started sending her money I though

she'd quit but she didn't and before I knew it Lihle was pregnant, my parents forced me to marry her but she didn't make me happy like Noma did. I didn't fight for her, I didn't fight for us, I failed her and now my soulmate has died.

I open my letter and it says

'Dear Sthandwa Sam(my love)

Langa you remember when we first met, I knew from there that you are the man I want to spend my life with, remember when we first made love and spoke about baby names, we thought Nomalanga is the best one because it's a combination of our love, however things changed when you denied the baby, my dreams had to be on hold, when you came back I wanted you to fight for us but you chose Lihle instead and I know that she reminds you of me, I hope you forgive yourself and take care of our angel.I played my part but I couldn't be alone.She chose you and you still didn't fight for me.I will always love you.Goodbye

Love

Your Noma'

I shed tears and I know she's right, I didn't fight for her, fight for us.

'If I turn back the hands of time' By R-KELLY plays in my head.

Maybe in the next life if there's one, we will be together.

This is it,goodbye.

I wipe my tears and pretend to be strong for my angel, I wish I fought for us and our love.

"I will always love you too Noma"

I find an old picture of us in the envelope, I smile and remember the old times, I will always cherish the times we spent together.