Moving on.

>>>>>Nomalanga's Narration

Gogo took us to her grave and at least she inserted a tombstone for her, that's the least she could do.

I have been crying nonstop for weeks now, things are falling apart, I can see her helpless body lying down on the floor, the hurt, the gun, the tears and everything else.

Langa doesn't spend time anymore with us, Lihle has moved to another room, I guess Noma's death changed everything.

When Langa comes home, he's drunk and looks at Noma's picture and talks about how he failed her, he lost the love of his life.

I take out my books and write homeworks.

Lately I've lost contact with my friends, I don't really care anymore, I can't be around people, I just don't want to disappoint them.

I hear a knock and open the door, it's Langa.

Langa:"Baby girl"

Me:"Yes?"

Langa:"Can we talk?"

Me:"Okayyyyy.....?"

Langa:"Lihle has booked therapy sessions for you"

Me:"I am fine."

Langa:"No you are not"

Me:"You seem to need them more, so you attend them and your crazy wife who wants to control our lives"

Langa:"You will respect her!"

*rolls eyes*

Me:"Or else what? you will chase me away knowing very well, I have no one else."

Langa:"Fuck this"

He leaves.

Right now I don't care who I lose, right now I just want to see my mom's smile, her voice and her sweet notes.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Langa's Narration.

I tried dealing with Noma's death but the guilt is too much, everytime I see Lihle, I see her, her broken heart hence I started drinking but Lihle couldn't handle the fights, it's been weeks without being intimate or anything else.I last called her Noma when I was drunk and that changed everything.

I open a bottle of vodka and drink it.

'You didn't fight for us, you chose her over me'

I have always been afraid of my father, he wanted things to go his way.

The first bottle is finished but the guilt is still there.

I take out another one.

I need to talk to her, I want to fix things so I am thinking of visiting her grave.

Lihle is just looking at me.

Me:"What are you looking at?Huh?"

She still doesn't say anything so I take my car keys and drive to my Noma's grave.

I look for it and finally find it.

"Noma I am so sorry, I know what I did was wrong but you knew how my dad was, Lihle got pregnant and he forced us to get married because she is a doctor, I had no say in this, I love you okay, wake up and tell us this is a joke.I will marry you and leave her, we will be happy both you and our angel.We will have more kids, just wake up my love, please wake up"

I start crying.

She is not saying anything, it's just a big rock on top of her tiny body.

I walk away.

Get into the car.

I turn of the radio, fragile heart plays.

I see lights, I try to control the car but I can't I am too drunk, there's a bang, "Noma Noma Noma".

My last words as my eyes close.