4 -Learning experiences all round
"Master Jedi!" calls someone, disturbing my attempts to mentally compose the week's lesson plans. Anakin is coming along with basic telekinesis. He doesn't need me to fetch tools anymore. He can just hold out his hand and the desired tool leaps into his grasp.
I open my eyes. It is a young couple. About twenty-five a piece. Just two dumb kids. Don't even need the Force to tell that this is their first big fight.
"So, how can I help you two." I say.
They both start at once. I listen and nod understandingly.
-----
"Is he asleep?" the voice stirs me to wakefulness. Reaching out with the Force I sense it is Anakin. With some other children. Five, no six. The one standing behind my charge is almost eclipsed by his presence.
"It's called meditation. We do that, a lot." says Anakin.
"He looks like he's asleep." says another child.
I reach out and cause the stall to rise off from around me. I cause it to come to rest beside me. I then open my eyes.
"Welcome Anakin. Have your friends come to learn the Jedi arts as well?"
"You mean like painting or sculpture?" says a boy.
"Close. The ability to feel and manipulate the Force is different for everyone. So, we call it an art. I can show another the basics but everyone learns their own way. Now, I see we will need to practice some actual Force powers rather than just meditation." I say.
Seven heads nod up and down.
"Very well." I say and stand up. "Legs apart. Stand up straight. Now, breathe in, and out. Breathe in, and out." I instruct.
"When are we going to use the Force?" asks a girl.
"You just did." I say smiling. "The Force is part of all life. So, just by breathing, you are using the Force. The very act of being alive is a tremendous gift. Treasure every moment."
My class looks unimpressed.
"Alright. Alright. We'll do some fun stuff. You all know how Jedi can block blaster fire with our lightsabres?" I say.
Seven pairs of eyes light up. Everyone loves lightsabres.
"Are you going to give us lightsabres?" says the same girl.
No. No, and hell no. No plasma psi blades for nine and ten year olds. I am still shocked that I have one. I guess whatever deposited me in this universe couldn't complete the Jedi master disguise without one, but still.
"No. I don't have any training sabres here with me. We will use Roundball bats and balls."
The children look disappointed I am not handing out lethal weapons but perk up at the idea of sports equipment. Roundball resembles Softball or Baseball, it being a bat and ball game. The field is a lot bigger due to the lower gravity. We retrieve the bats and balls from inside thanking foresight to have several on hand. Originally that was because, things break. Anakin has destroyed two already. I distribute the bats and balls and get them starting to pitch and hit.
"Okay, now that you have had some practice we will use these." I say holding up blindfolds. "Space yourselves out a bit more." I add after they have put the blindfolds on. The children do so. Bat to the face is still painful. "Now, Anakin is going to pitch the ball to you and you are going to try to hit it. Reach out. Sense the ball and let the Force guide you when to strike." I then turn to Anakin. "Now Anakin, I want you to throw the ball so that they will connect." I say quietly.
And so it begins. Anakin pitching, the other children hitting and myself fielding errant balls with TK and making sure no one gets swatted. A pleasant way for everyone to get involved and get some actual training in. The afternoon is punctuated by cries and whoops as bat meets ball more often than not.
I wonder about the plan. I mean, everything looks like the movies but that's hardly the totality of the universe. There's novels, comics, computer games, RPGs, radio dramas and other stuff. What is true for here? How would I know? It's not like I read most of that. Just a filthy casual. I need a look at the Jedi Library to get an idea what is where. Also I can pick up some primers, lesson guides, actual training equipment.
Noticing that the swings are getting a little erratic I decide that's enough practice for the day. Gathering up the balls with some TK I call out to the impromptu study group.
"Alright. Now we need to reflect. Hands up if you could feel the balls and when to strike." I said.
Six hands go up. Much excited murmuring and commenting on how they could almost feel the right time.
"That is excellent. Being able to feel the Force is like anything. Just as some of you are stronger, faster or better at sums than your friends so it is with the Force. Also like those things, practice is important. So, I want you to practice the bat and ball exercise for 10 minutes every day for two weeks. Then come back and we will see."
Six heads nod and then the children disperse, heading home hopefully. I am left with Anakin.
"What did you learn Anakin?" I say.
"It was easy to pitch the ball to Grete and Alex. It was a lot harder with Kelli." he said after a while.
"Why do you think that was?" I said.
Anakin gives this some thought.
"Well. Grete's my best friend at school so maybe I sense her better. Um." he says.
"Very good. The others could be anything. Everyone is different. Now, I am going to be gone for a brief while. Hopefully only a few days. So I want you to keep up with the meditation and help your friends with the exercises."
Anakin nods.
"Can I work on the fighter while you're gone?" he asks.
"Sure. Just don't fly it till I get back." I say.
"Sure thing Mr Dee-Jay. Can I do some work on it now?"
"Only until your mother calls." I say.
Anakin smiles and runs off to the warehouse.
"I need a towel." I say to myself.
A Babel Fish would not go amiss either.
-----
Getting a lift to Coruscant is surprisingly easy if you're a Jedi. Well in the more civilised parts of The Republic. Just walk to the Starport and request passage. A quick I.D. check and I was on the first ship back to Coruscant. I'm guessing everything is charged to the Jedi Temple. I don't have anything beyond a couple of robes and a lightsabre but the organisation itself? Loaded. Upshot being that eighteen hours later I am jogging up the Jedi Temple steps to the entrance.
"Master Dee-Jay." says Yoda, waiting at the top
Of course they know I was coming. If they weren't all precogs there's the little matter of paying for my ticket.
"Hello Master Yoda. How can I help." I said.
"Walk with me. Much to discuss, there is." says Yoda.
I wander along the halls of the Jedi Temple. Initially it is quite crowded, but soon we are somewhere secluded. Yoda finds an unoccupied side room and sits down.
"Training young Skywalker, begun you have." he says.
"Yes. Even starting out he is extremely powerful. I feel directing his abilities towards his skills as a mechanic and an engineer is most beneficial at the moment. All part of my plan to raise a far less angry Anakin." I say.
"Go on."
"On the subject of minor heresy Anakin is living with his mother and has occasional contact with Padme."
"Only minor heresy you say this is? Know well you do the rules against attachments."
Tell me about it. The Dark Side comes without warning and always in her voice.
"Yeah. I know. Maybe you Jedi have the right of it. Trouble is, Anakin already had a mother and what became an unhealthy infatuation. Ignoring that won't work."
Yoda holds up a hand.
"This understand do I. But incorrect you are. Not 'you Jedi'. 'We Jedi' it is." he says.
Well, damn. He's good. Guess that's why he's in charge.
"Think Palpatine a distinction will make? Hmm." Yoda continues.
"No. How's it going with investigating him?" I ask.
"Difficult that is. To all appearances normal, he appears."
"You saw through me in five minutes."
"Yes. Yes. But shocked and surprised were you. Such a disturbance here, unusual it is. So, see through you I did. Palpatine, if what you say is true is hiding himself very well. Knows he does, what must happen should see his true nature we did."
We're discussing the fate of the Galaxy and Yoda keeps up the cryptic master act. Twelve year old me would of thought it cool.
"But now that you know to look, have you?" I say
Yoda nods.
"Seen through him I have. The Dark Side surrounds him it does. But first, patience."
"Patience?"
"Yes. Patience. Right now, very popular our new Chancellor is. Even a few months, a difference will make."
"Well then, perhaps this will help." I say pulling a memory crystal from my pouch. "It's Sheev's gene scan and more importantly, his midichlorian count."
"An indicator only, realise that is?"
I nod. "Still, every little bit helps." I say and toss the crystal over.
"Thank you. Now, why else you are here?"
"There is this other little matter..." I begin.
-----
The Jedi library archive is one of the most comprehensive stores of knowledge in the Galaxy. That means there is a hell of a lot of information. Which means it really helps to know what you're doing. I'm sure the natives do fine. I'm guessing it's easier if you can read the damn glyphs without a finger.
"Can I help you?"
I look up. It's that unhelpful librarian from the movies. Um, names were not my thing with real people. Well, people I thought were real four months ago.
"I felt that brushing up on Galactic History would be useful. What, with a new Padawan and all. To get a good feel for what we should focus on. After all, if you don't learn from history..." I say.
"You are doomed to repeat it." completes Whatshername. It does not help that her entire appearance practically screams 'librarian'. Which is a thing in film, but life? Was there something else you wanted to do? Also, it's a saying here too.
I nod. "So, what are the current political and social trends in the Galaxy at large?"
The librarian beams at me. Any chance to impart knowledge.
"The Galactic Republic is currently undergoing a centralisation of power, consolidating the power in the hands of the developed or 'Core Worlds'. Traditionally this has led to tensions..." says the Librarian as she begins a lecture.
The impromptu lesson is quite the eye opener. The Senate is currently consolidating powers. Even with hyperspace and near instant communications it is just too big. What typically happens is that the underrepresented areas petition for representation, the Senate gets even bigger, reforms decentralise powers and then it repeats. This has been going on forever. The civilising of the Galaxy has been powering away so long that what I would consider the main event, Sith vs Jedi, is a relatively minor sideshow. In the eyes of a historian there's always a warlord, darksider, lunatic with a super weapon, Mandalorian crusade or some other threat. The Republic endures. The Jedi protect. Civilisation comes to the masses. Alright, so not 'always', but exciting highlights aside, Republic history is one of slow, steady expansion. My Librarian friend believes that after the current reforms are done with, the next big event will be the consolidation of Hutt Space. All very psychohistory. Small wonder given I'm basically at Trantor's more photogenic cousin.
What's worse is that the psychohistory believers are right. Palpatine's Empire lasts two decades and I don't hold much faith in those First Order chaps. That doesn't make it any better for those who have to live through the 'interesting times'. It would be good for all the trillions killed by the coming 'little hiccup' on Galactic history to miss out on The Empire. So, we're still going to try and avoid all that. Trouble is Palpatine's a smart guy. He must know all this, on some level at least. Aside from being a loony and doing it for the evils, why do Sith maniacs constantly try this 'conquer the Galaxy' thing?
'Let me show you.'
I should also learn not to ask dumb questions as I am plunged into a vision.
-----
I stand surrounded by motes of light as the material world seemingly fades from view. The motes seem connected or attached to a gigantic web in a spiral shape. The Galaxy I guess. It's beautiful and entrancing to see it this way. So entrancing that I don't register that someone has slipped their arms round my waist until they whisper in my ear.
"Always easily distracted." says Sharon.
Make that something. I disentangle myself from the apparition.
"What's wrong? It's me, your wife." says 'Sharon'.
"We both know that's not true." I say.
'Sharon' smiles in that way when she was up to something.
"What's true? You really believe you're in this fictional universe? Force Powers? Training Anakin Skywalker? And flirting with a Twi'lek? Get real, she's half your age."
Damn, you almost had me. Yes, I had been worrying about all that. Retreating into some fantasy as a result of some trauma? Of course it had crossed my mind. One slip. Sharon could never name an alien beyond Wookies. If this had been Arda then I would have been buggered. So this is an apparition or projection of my own thoughts.
"No. I have to act as if the experiences are real. You're the fiction here. And I am not flirting with Shayla. Please." I say. Okay, maybe a bit, but seriously? She is half my age.
"And you are still trapped in this vision." says the apparition
I know, for varying levels of 'know' that I am in the Jedi Temple Library. Someone should eventually figure something is up and have some way to help me. I fold my arms and look at the apparition.
"This is the Galaxy, I guess. So? Why would I want to conquer it?" I say.
The apparition walks over to a small mote. It nudges it with her foot.
"This is the Lenare system. Completely non-descript. Nothing to see. Not mentioned in your universe. Home to some five billion beings. What happens if you kill one?" the apparition makes a small gesture and I feel a jolt, almost like a morning coffee.
"How about a city? A continent? The entire system!"
The rush surging through me is incredible, like nothing else. As the high continues the apparition walks back up to me and leans in.
"That's just one system, imagine if you could set the entire Galaxy on fire." she says.
Resist the Dark Side and all it's wiles. Now do that on a Force high while it sticks a tongue down your throat. I would say that's totally unfair, but I guess that's the point.
-----
With a jolt I awake. I am in the Library once more. Lying on the floor with concerned faces looming over me.
"How long was I out?" I ask.
"Just a few minutes. I was speaking with you and then you collapsed." said the Librarian.
I sit up and try to clear my head, Was that real?
"A vision. I, I need time to process it. First though, contact the Lenare system. See if they're okay."
The good thing about the Jedi is when someone says they had an ominous vision concerning something they act. The Force isn't some abstract plot device, it's real. Premonitions and visions are taken seriously. Someone contacts the System and after a few minutes they confirm that while a bit surprised to be receiving a call from the Jedi they are otherwise fine. Meanwhile I try to calm down. I just got snogged by an avatar of cosmic evil. While on a truly fantastic trip. Is it unfair to blame this on the series coming out in the Seventies for that? After assuring everyone I am fine I wander off, eventually fetching up in a room with gardens, waterfalls and various Jedi sitting on benches meditating on cosmic wellness and harmony.
Why the hell am I doing this? Sharon, the Dark Side, a figment of my imagination, whoever it is. They're right. This isn't real. It can't be. As delusions go, no, treat your experiences as real. Get a grip. So you're up against one of cinema's iconic villains? So, the actual forces of darkness play dirty? So they have a handle on your insecurities? So?
They only win if you let them. They wouldn't be on your case so bad if it didn't matter. Sharon, the real one, my wife would have told me to harden up, stop grizzling and get back out there. Very well.
I stand up. I have a Jedi to train.
I still make sure to pick up the primers and training gear before I leave. No point in being silly about this.