11 - Queen soundtrack goes here.
"Where are we going Flash?" says Dale from the pilot seat.
"That all depends on what these Jedi tell us. So, where do you want to go?" asks Flash.
Flash Gordon. Dale Arden. In colour too. Hopefully the rest don't turn up. Because if Ming's daughter turns up I'm giving this stoic space knight gig up. Don't care if she's as evil as she is beautiful. Everyone has a limit and Ms Lawson in a fetching space outfit is mine.
But who am I kidding? No chance of that if Flash is around. Maybe I just see about some popcorn for the inevitable Aura vs Dale squabble. That and keep a keen lookout for large angry iguanas.
"Leviatha. That's where we start our search." I say.
"Sure thing mister!" says Dale as she turns her attention back to the ship's controls.
"So, who's the dame?" asks Flash looking at Hera.
"Oh sorry, excuse me. Hera, this is Flash, Flash Gordon. The woman flying the ship is Dale Arden." I say.
"Well, pleased to meet you ma'am." says Flash sticking out his hand. As they shake hands Flash notices Hera's lightsabre. "You're a Jedi as well, I say."
"Why yes. I am. Coruscant, how do you know these people?" Hera says.
"I expect that gal Amidala told him. Or it could be he's heard of us. This place is big and all, but word still gets round." says Flash.
Oh yes. Have I heard of you.
"So, where can I get one of them laser swords. I was dab hand at fencing at Yale." says Flash.
Say what? Okay, okay it's just a word. Probably just a coincidence. Only so many sounds you can make as words and all.
"Yale? I'm not familiar with that system." says Hera.
"Oh Yale is no system ma'am. It's a university. Just out of New York, on Earth. You haven't heard of Earth? Seems like no one here has." says Flash.
Oh I've heard of it all right. Some recognition must have shown on my face.
"You know where Earth is? Hey Dale. This Jedi knows how to get us home!" says Flash.
Dale is quickly at Flash's side.
"You can get us home? Please mister, your place is swell and all, but I just want to go home. Please?" says Dale.
Both Dale and Flash look at me with hope in their eyes. Tell us how. Which way to home?
"Well Coruscant? Where is the system? This 'Earth'?" says Hera.
I shake my head.
"I know of no way home. Earth is in another galaxy. One far, far away from here." I say sadly.
I watch their faces fall.
"No. It was silly to hope. I, the course is set. Just pull the lever." says Dale sniffing. "Excuse me." she says before walking down the corridor. I hear a door open, then shut.
Flash looks to where Dale has gone,then back at me.
"You sure about that mister? Damn. Just, damn." he says and heads off after Dale.
That leaves me in the corridor with Hera.
"You must be a hoot at parties Coruscant. Well, let's check that girl's calculations and then jump." she says and walks into the cockpit. She checks the jump, nods and pulls the lever. Outside, the view changes from a starfield, to streaked lines then the whorls of hyperspace. She then regards me with her typical 'What have I stepped in?' look.
"Another galaxy far, far away? Really? Is it a long time ago too? Were you about to tell them that as well?" she says.
"No, although it is true." I say.
"And you know this, how?" Hera asks suspiciously?
"As you are all too fond of pointing out Hera, I am a Jedi. From the moment Amidala told me their names it has been as if I have seen their lives played out on a holo. I wish I could help them, but I can't. All I can do is keep them from fruitlessly searching when they can do good here. Is that okay, Corellia?" I say, nearly shouting at the end.
"Okay." says Hera. She rises out of the seat and walks out. As she reaches the doorway, she turns. "That was true, from a certain point of view as the saying goes. I'll accept it, for now." she adds before departing.
I am left watching the hyperspace in all its glory.
-----
"Hey mister, wake up.", it's Dale, gently shaking me. "We're about to arrive."
Everyone else is present and looking fresh. I must of dozed off. As I awake Flash and Dale take to the controls.
"Yes, so we need to know where to land." says Flash. "Also, a game plan."
"Don't worry, I can show you where I picked up his apprentice. Let me show you." says Hera, taking the co-pilot seat and then entering the coordinates.
"And the plan?" says Flash.
"We go down. Look for a lead and follow it. See if we can persuade them to stop kidnapping and enslaving people." I say.
"Just think they'll listen Coruscant?" asks Hera.
"No. I'm just hoping to get a lead on the larger picture." I say.
"What do you mean?" asks Dale.
"Yeah mister. They're slavers. They do it for the money, and because they like having power over others." says Flash.
That could just be it. Except, I know I am right. It's how this universe works. Good and evil are not abstract notions. They're real. Plus, I have guidance from the Force. There is a sense, of rightness to this.
"No, trust me on this. There is a deeper reality to all this. We find that, and I don't know, confront it, destroy it, then there really won't be a driving reason for slavery any more." I say.
There is a snort from Hera.
"Really, Coruscant? If it were that easy it would of been done already." she says.
"That's right ma'am." says Flash. He then turns to me. "You should listen to her. The world, um Galaxy, doesn't work like that." continues Flash.
Flash. Saviour of the Universe said that? Now I really am in crazy town.
"If you believe that, why are you helping?" I ask.
"It's still the right thing to do." says Flash as he shrugs casually.
"And Amidala pays well. Entering atmosphere now." adds Dale.
The view transitions from black to the bluish hues of an atmosphere. Almost immediately after a light starts flashing and there is a pyrotechnic display as blaster fire from the planet surface bursts all around us.
"Looks like they don't want us there. Hold on. I will try to land us nearby. Don't worry, this ship has a few modifications to handle this." says Flash as he and Dale begin buckling in. Hera and I do likewise.
"What's going on?" asks Hera.
"Don't panic, but I have a good idea about how these two to make hot landings." I whisper back as the ship lurches.
I remember almost every serial I have seen. Yes, Flash lands the rocket ship.
From a certain point of view.
There is an explosion and a sense of free fall as we plummet towards the surface.
-----
I wake up in a bed. Wait, wasn't I just crashing in a ship?
There is a stirring beside me.
"Oh, you're up. Well, in a sense." says the Dark Side.
I take in my surroundings. Large bed. Decor best described using the words 'plush' and 'frilly'. Sharon dressed in some thirties western directors idea of a harem outfit.
"What is this place?" I say.
"Don't look at me. This is your subconscious. I just thought you could use a friendly face, so to speak." the Dark Side says while running a finger along my side. "You, and all your friends are out cold. In a few minutes a band of slavers are going to open the door and take you all prisoner. Dragged off to an uncertain fate. Now, you can take me up on my offer and I will let you wake up in time to prevent all that. Or you can stay here and we can, think of something else to do with our time together. Win win as you put it."
How come Luke never had to deal with this? Why can't I benefit from the 'family fare' nature of the 'official' works?
Official works. Right. Think. Use the Force. Ignore the succubus nibbling on your ear. Damn. No passion, serenity.
'Luminous beings are we. Not this crude matter.'
So sayeth Master Yoda. How does that help? Oh. Right.
I rise and walk through a wall. Suddenly, I am back in the cockpit of the rocket ship. I can see us all still strapped in, a little banged up, but otherwise fine. Okay, now. How to wake me up. Body over there. Consciousness having an out of body experience here. Combine the two, how?
I become aware of a banging on the outer hatch. Great. No pressure. How the hell do I wake myself up? Or anyone really, but I feel I need to work out how to get back in my body at some point. Will that damn banging stop? It's hard enough as it is. Wait. I am effectively a ghost. I walk through the door to the outside and concentrate.
"Boo." I say.
The pirates outside trying to force entry do not take well to apparitions. There are a few attempts to blast me and then they run to the accompanying 'Woo.' noises. I walk through the door again.
There. That makes things less time critical. It takes another five minutes to work out how to get back into my body and wake up. Then I find a medkit and several stims later everyone else is up too. Thanks Shayla.
"We're down. They know we're here and soon they'll be back." I summarise.
"Still think we should try talking?" asks Hera.
"Nah. Think we can safely skip to aggressive negotiations." I say.
And they say AOTC has no redeeming features.
-----
They had sent six of them to deal with us. Only six? That's almost, no. They did not know there were Jedi aboard. Otherwise they would of sent a small army. Not an insult, merely the fog of war. Flash and Dale are quite the team. Very nice fire and move routine they have going. The Force reveals just how strongly they are connected as they cover each other to flank and catch the disorganised pirates off guard. Hera, for her part cuts two down while I'm mucking about observing everyone's handiwork. I remember myself and move a vine to trip and then truss up a Rodian doing a runner. I soon have him before me.
"You will tell me who you work for." I say, attempting the hand-wave thing.
The Rodian is made of sterner stuff.
"I'll tell you nothing Jedi. I'm not scared of you. I know you won't harm a prisoner." he says.
"Good point." I say. "Hera!" I call out. "She's a Green Jedi. Different rules I'm told. And it's her jurisdiction. Tradition demands I bow to her wisdom."
Actually, I have no bloody idea. Fear, uncertainty and doubt are all wonderful things.
"Yes, Coruscant?" says Hera as she trots over, lightsabre still on.
"Prisoner won't talk. Wondered if you had any ideas." I say.
"You will tell me what I want to know." says Hera, for once directing her ire to someone else.
"I will tell you what you want to know." says the Rodian.
"Excellent. First. Who is in charge of this operation?" says Hera as she begins.
-----
Twenty minutes later we have a list of names and contacts as well as a few systems they frequent. We leave the Rodian locked up in the ship and head for the compound. While they haven't repaired the hole I made they have posted a guard. It's a big headed alien. Alert too.
"Allow me." says Flash as he bends down and selects a largish rock. He then quickly stands and pitches it baseball style at the alien. There is a thunk and the being collapses.
We sneak in and make our way to the comm station. Inside we can hear a conversation. We creep closer and peek inside.
A pirate is trembling before the hologram of a beautiful woman in classic 'ruler of all I survey' dress.
"I don't care for your excuses. I know that ship. Flash Gordon. You will capture him and his simpering companion and hold them. I am dispatching Warlock and Ajax to bring them to me. Make sure you have them, for your sake." says Princess Aura's image before winking out.
I turn to Flash.
"Friend of yours?" I say.