chapter thirty four - trapped

Chapter thirty four

Trapped

"You have to eat or you'll be diagnosed with an eating disorder that you don't have"

no one had mentioned eating disorders to me before so I landed on Katie Morton's mental health site in the hope that it would help me.

No disrespect to her or her site but it didn't help me and she never answered any of my questions.

On her site, I met two guys that I wish I had never met, causing me to tumble down my downwards spiral.

Their first two letters o their names are SW and SH. We started playing an innocent game at first, but then it turned sexual.

It started out with a car game where you basically come up with a power and fight the others with that made-up power. Seems like a pathetic game, but I loved it at the time, little did I know that they had already got me trapped.

We played that game for days, even when it became sexual.

SH developed feelings for me and asked if I did too. Similar to SZ, I said I did. This is because they plant feelings in my head.

Soon though SW turned the game sexual. I didn't mind at the time but it's what got me trapped even more.

They even lured me onto google mail chat and skype. SW wanted to see me but claimed that he didn't have a webcam of his own.

Even when I went to America with my mum and sister; I was still messaging them at the airport and in the hotel.

I thought SW loved me at the time because he was talking sexually, but he didn't love me.

Pretty soon though, they involved this girl called B and it was actually her mum that brought me back to my senses.

I became friends with B, we even video called, she was actually genuine. It was strange though because normally you talk to a friend about normal things, nor private; we spoke about the personal bits first.

We sort of made a joke about it because we were privately messaging each other, deciding what to say to SW, and then messaging him.

The next day though I got a message from her mum saying something like this. - "hi, this is B's overprotective mother. Don't reply to this email because she will be deleting her email address and changing her phone number. We love her so much, she's only sixteen"

B had been lying to us about her age, but her mum really brought me back to my sense, she had told me that her mum was overprotective.

SW wouldn't believe me that she was only sixteen and didn't believe that he'd never hear from her again.

I tried to stop talking to them and leave them but they had already got m trapped.

They kept telling me that if I really cared about them, then I wouldn't leave and that if I left, they'd kill themself.

Once I got a message claiming to be from SH's worried family saying that he had tried to kill himself.

Another day SH told me that he would kill himself and gave me a countdown from ten until he would kill himself.

10 - text message

9 - text message

and so on.

When it reached 0 I cried so hard that I had my first panic attack, It honestly felt like I was going o die because I couldn't breathe. I even got hold of a pair of hair straighteners and self-harmed with it, I had a bandage on for like two weeks

they really had me trapped, what would I do?

Late on SW told me that he was just using me and that they had planned it from the start.

This made me angry, I couldn't stop crying.

SW then pushed me into reporting him to the admins of the site; this got him banned but he then turned it on me and said that I had liked what he was sending me and that I let him.

how can someone turn it on me..! Remember this was all on a mental health website.

I annoyed SH and so he stopped talking to me, I was convinced he was SZ; SW was banned from seeing me and so it all stopped.

Well... That was until SW re-emerged. He made a fake account on Katie Morton's site called O and trapped me all over again.

He wanted me to get him un-banned from the site. In the end, I ended up speaking to an admin and whatever she told me, I told him and whatever she told him, he told me. The admin clocked onto this and accused me and SW making the whole thing up as some fucked up lie.

Let me tell you that this WAS NOT true! It ACTUALLY happened. I tried to tell the admin this, but she didn't believe me and didn't see how you can be trapped online. Well, you CAN!