[F] CH 12.1- Baby Steps (PA)

"Wow!! Look at that man go! He can really swim, huh?".

"He's so fast, just like a professional!".

Movements were swift yet powerful, Nagisa cleared the pool in seconds. However he just didn't have the same level of endurance. He clambered out after doing a couple laps around the pool. Misako watched him, impressed. "Guess your name's "Nagisa" for a reason. Pretty good,".

She dangled her legs lazily over the warm blue water. "I used to be on the swim team throughout high school and college. I guess you could say that I was a professional," Nagisa panted as he sat down on the floor. The woman laughed and looked at her best friend. They were the same age so it was easy to poke fun at each other. "You're not as young as you used to be though. Don't push yourself too much."

The man sighed but he watched the children in the smaller pool splash around. "Your niece is getting the hang of it though,". Misako looked on and nodded in approval. "It's because you taught her so well, Shinji. Huh, even my nephew is catching on,". Nagisa just watched them swim in the pool. He knew that they still weren't used to the movements but they'd get the hang of it over time.

"I wouldn't have minded a niece or nephew myself but none of my siblings are married yet. I was the only one who was married and now the only one who is divorced,". Misako looked at him pitifully. "Speaking of, why didn't you bring your boyfriend here? This swim centre's really close to your house,". Nagisa instinctively looked in the direction of home and sighed, scratching his head. "He's really bad with people and with open bodies of water. It's impossible to bring him anywhere."

Misako playfully punched his arm and squinted at him. "You sheltering him like this won't do him any good either. He won't be able to go anywhere independently once he turns 20,". Nagisa nodded and held his arm, throbbing a bit from where Misako hit him. "One day, this possessive 'I'm going to lock you away from everyone else because my ass is the only one you need to kiss' kind of behaviour of yours is going to scare him and hey presto! You would have created such an unhealthy power dynamic in your relationship,".

Narrowing her eyes, she lectured Nagisa. "You wouldn't want him to be unhappy now would you, Shinji?". Nagisa shook his head, looking down shamefully. "I understand, Ueda. But what do I do if he doesn't want to go out?". The woman helped the children out of the pool while speaking to him. "That's his own problem. However, it's important that you make an effort to drag him out of the house. He's your boyfriend, not some kind of frilly maid who does all your donkey work and stays home to lick your boots. Take him on dates and teach him how to enjoy his life,".

As if her nagging lit a fire in his heart, Nagisa immediately plucked his phone off the table and rang his partner up. "Yuto, is there anything you'd want to eat for dinner? I'll get takeaway for us on the way home,". The boy's soft reply could only be heard by Nagisa alone. "Could we have katsudon tonight?". Nagisa chuckled to himself and wrapped a towel around his wet body while he continued the conversation.

"Would you like Japanese curry on the side?".

"Yes please. With furikake,".

It was always good to know that Yuto had his likes and dislikes all in order. He was very just and in a way, that made it easier for Nagisa to please him. "Roger that~ You don't have to cook tonight. Focus on your assignments,". "Okay, Nagi. Thank you. I love you,". Nagisa wanted to say more but Yuto had already hung up on him. Nagisa bit his lip, a bit annoyed that he wasn't given enough time to say 'I love you' back.

His friend, who was drying the children off, caught his look of annoyance. "You know, you can always go home now. You're already done teaching them. I know that you and that kid can't be separated for too long,". Nagisa nodded and dried himself. "I guess I'll be off then, Ueda. Your niece and nephew are going to swim like fish before you know it,". The woman nodded and waved goodbye to him. "See you at school, Shinji,".

.

.

.

'He's really too good for me' .

After parking his car in the designated white box in the parking lot, he entered the restaurant and was greeted with a familiar face. "Shinji-san, I'd never have expected to see you here,". He turned around and almost saw red. "Takaba-kun, what are you doing here?". He tried to converse himself in a calm manner but noticed the bruises that he gave him a while back. They were still there.

Scars from being cut with sharp glass shards were still there too. "Isn't it obvious? I work here now, as a server. It's hard to get another government job when the authorities know you're entangled with sexual assault of a minor,". Nagisa arched an eyebrow and squinted at him. "He's really insecure because of you. I don't know whether or not to let it go or to punch you,". Takaba looked at his annoyed expression and sighed. "Well, punch me. But not in this establishment, it'll be a rain check for a future day. Anyway, may I take your order?".

While waiting for his order to be completed, Takaba told Nagisa that his parents had scolded him harshly for losing his job and were disappointed when he told them why he was let go. "Did you give my letter to your precious cutie?". Nagisa scratched his head. "I left it on my desk. He's already been through enough,". Takaba hesitantly agreed and heard the bell ring. "Guess your food's ready. I'll get that for you,". He handed Nagisa the cloth bag containing his food and grinned.

"I'll see you around!". Nagisa shrugged it off but politely waved goodbye. On the way home, he picked up some strawberry daifuku from the old vendor at the marketplace near his house. "Ah, you seem to like these a lot, young man,". Nagisa smiled at the old lady as she carefully chose the largest ones for him. "Well, my partner also likes them just as much. We'll eat them well~". The old lady handed him the daifuku with a smile as Nagisa gave her the money. "I always love hearing about people enjoying my food. Have a safe journey home."

At last, dinner arrived home safely. "Tadaima, Yuto~~ I have your food, it's nice and hot,". The boy was asleep on the futon, an open book by his side.

'He's been working too hard lately. Maybe I should listen to Ueda and have a bit of fun with him'.

Kneeling by his side, he shook Yuto's shoulder tenderly to wake him up. Rubbing sleep from his eyes, Yuto put his arms around his partner while he sat up. "Hnn~ Okaeri..Nagi. I'm sorry that I fell asleep,". Nagisa put the food on the coffee table and took off his coat. He observed Yuto, feeling bad for him.

'The poor thing's been staying up too late to study. I don't even know how he manages to cook for me without a wink of sleep. He looks so tired'.

Planting a kiss on his forehead, he pulled Yuto onto his lap. "No, no. You needed to rest anyway. Go on, wash your face and have a quick shower. I'll get dinner ready after I've changed my clothes,". The boy looked at him sleepily, slumping against his chest. "Thank you, Nagi,".

'Dating someone like Nagi has its perks...He's loving and he looks after me well....I'm happy..'.

After showering, Yuto sat down for dinner with Nagisa. He was still quite groggy and leaned against his partner's shoulder while he ate. Nagisa pulled Yuto closer to him, caressing him on his head gently. "You're too tired to eat? You should really take a break. You can't keep neglecting your health like this. I'll get worried if you fall sick again,". The boy chewed on his food slowly, blinking rapidly to stay awake.

"I'm sorry, Nagi...I just want to do well in school,".

Stress permeated his exhausted dulcet voice. Nagisa ruffled his hair tenderly. "You're already doing well enough. You've got plenty of good grades to show for. Cut yourself some slack. You're torturing yourself like this,". Nagisa propped the boy on his lap and petted his head. "Come on, I'll feed you if I have to. I know you haven't eaten anything all day,".

Reluctant, Yuto allowed Nagisa to feed him his dinner. His head was just hazy, nothing but fatigue clouding his noggin. "My cute Yuto, you should let me pamper you sometimes. I'd do anything for you,". The boy just felt so tired, he was ready to drop dead but he knew how badly Nagisa worried about him and shot him a small smile. "I don't want to be pampered by anyone besides you,". Nagisa had never really taken care of anyone like this. Sure, he had his younger siblings, except Hitomi would always be the one to baby them while Nagisa had just never felt that way.

Perhaps he was changing though. It did feel nice to look after Yuto. He wiped Yuto's mouth and kissed him on his head lovingly. "You can go ahead and sleep first if you'd like. I'll clean up,". The younger male nodded and went to his room to change into his pyjamas, waiting for Nagisa so that they could go to bed together.

'Really, I wonder if all this studying is worth it. When I'm so tired that I can't even think straight. I wish I could have fun with Nagi but he hasn't brought me out since I went missing at the carnival. Maybe he just doesn't trust me anymore'.

Slipping on his pyjamas, Yuto melted into the bed after he was done. He scooted to the side to make room for Nagisa. The boy snuggled under the covers, engulfed in the scent of his partner. The door opened and Nagisa walked inside. "Hm? I told you to sleep first. You didn't have to wait for me,". He caught Yuto's sleepy gaze in his direction. The younger male quietly patted the spot on the bed next to him and Nagisa laughed at how cute he was being. "Okay, fine. I'll head to bed early today for you,".

Before getting changed, he still wanted to prod one more question. "Yuto? Can I take you out tomorrow?". He got a sleepy "mmm" as a response and smiled. "I promise that you'll have fun!". Yuto groaned and refuted. "The last time you said that, you got to live out your fantasies, you pervert,".

"I swear it's different this time. I'm going to take you somewhere that'll be fun for the both of us,".

Annoyed with his waffling, Yuto patted the spot next to him even more impatiently. "Yes, I'm coming. Let me button these up first,". Nagisa shook his head, grinning.

'He's so sleepy..but he's undeniably adorable even when he's tired'.

Tumbling into bed, Nagisa proceeded to wrap his arms around Yuto's body. He felt his partner's tense body relax. "Nnnn~ Oyasumi, Nagi,". The man caught the soft whisper with a smile. "Sleep well, my Yuto,".

'He's so fucking cute!'.

_____________________________

The next day after they had eaten lunch, Nagisa brought Yuto to the swim centre. Yuto stared at the amount of parents bringing their children in and out and gulped.

'No good! I can't do this...'.

Hunched over the front seat, he trembled like a tremor. "N-Nagi...why are there so many people here...."He whined and the man rubbed his head gently. "Nobody here's going to hurt you. Especially when I'm on guard. You're here to have fun,". Yuto nodded and leaned into Nagisa's chest, still shaking.

"There, there. I'm here to help you feel less anxious around other people again. I want you to feel better,". Nagisa swept his hair back and got out of the car, opening the door on Yuto's side. "Come on, I'll take you to a quieter place in this centre. You're meant to relax with me," He smiled and held out a hand to his partner. Yuto pulled off the ring on his finger and slipped it into his wallet before he took Nagisa's hand. "Oh yeah, I have to remember to take mine off too,".

Down the staircase was a hidden much quieter venue. There were a lot less people in the private pool area downstairs as you were required to pay a small fee instead of it being open to the public. He smiled at Yuto, feeling his hand that was all tensed up loosen.

'He's calmed down. I don't blame him. Public pools can be pretty overwhelming if it's a weekend'.

Slipping off his hoodie, Yuto revealed the shirt he wore underneath. After going out with Nagisa, he almost never wore a shirt at home, only when he went out. He just slipped on a hoodie and called it a day. But since he no longer had anything to hide around Nagisa, he didn't wear long sleeved shirts that often anymore. Nagisa didn't want him to hide his bruises anyway, he wanted Yuto to have more confidence in himself. So far, he seemed very comfortable around Nagisa; sometimes he would roll his sleeves up around him. But around other people, he was still extremely insecure.

He followed Nagisa to the shower area to rinse his body before they could enter the pool. "You're going to swim with your shirt on?". Yuto nodded shyly and tightened his rattail. "I don't want other people to see my bruises,". Nagisa stripped off his own shirt and looked at his partner. "Why not? Are you still feeling insecure about yourself? Shall I teach you again?". Yuto shook his head and gripped the towel on his lap, nervous. "It's not that....I..I don't want people to think that you're an abusive partner,".

Nagisa shook his head, pecking him on the cheek. "If you have fun with me today, they won't think of me like that. Take off your shirt,". Yuto blushed and lifted his arms obediently while Nagisa pulled off his shirt. "Good boy, your bruises are beginning to fade anyway. I'll make sure to love you thoroughly at home,". Nagisa ruffled his hair and sat him down. "After your many dangerous accounts with water, I'm going to make sure you learn how to float at the very least,".

Carefully, Nagisa held Yuto's hand and guided him into the pool. "Relax your body. Don't tense up. Just let yourself go. You should be able to float,". Yuto whimpered and clung onto Nagisa's back, afraid. "If you're this scared, I don't think we should get you used to the water first,". The man fished his partner out of the water and laid him down on a sun chair. "Relax. Calm down. The water won't gobble you up, that's my job,". Yuto giggled when he said that and tried to ease his breathing.

"That's good, deep breaths. Inhale and then exhale. Good, good. It'll help you calm down,". Nagisa realised how pale Yuto's complexion really was. He wasn't surprised but he truly didn't think Yuto was so fair skinned. 'I guess he doesn't get a lot of sunlight. I mean, he did hide his skin with layers of long-sleeved clothing for years. I don't know what I was expecting'.

People around them noticed that Nagisa was being very gentle and lovey dovey with the younger male he was with. They did notice that Yuto had bruises all over his body but since he was so comfortable around the older man, they made no qualms to alert the authorities. Although, one man had another idea. He walked up to Yuto and squatted on the floor next to him. "Are you okay? Are you safe?". Yuto was too surprised to respond but Nagisa talked for him. "Those are old bruises. He's alright. He's under my care now,".

Yuto could tell that the man was concerned for him but he didn't want anyone in the world to think badly of Nagisa. He abruptly got up and hugged Nagisa tightly. "I'm okay. Really. He takes good care of me,". The man nodded and got up. "That's a relief. Okay then, have fun you two,". Nagisa waved goodbye to the man and pet Yuto's head. "There, there now. Someone was worried about you. Try not to look so tormented when you're in the water with me,".

With all his strength, he pulled Nagisa onto the sun chair and hugged him. "Nagi, I love you. Thank you for everything,". Nagisa felt his heart thump hard as Yuto wrapped his skinny arms around his muscular arm. One of the few things about Yuto that made him different from other people that Nagisa had ever dated was how straightforward he was with his feelings. Perhaps they stuttered an "I love you" from time to time but Nagisa preferred someone who was very firm with their feelings and their words.

Someone who could drive him back to reality. That person should be able to tell him straight to his face about how or where he fucked up. Someone...someone like Yuto. Who was bold enough to scold him whenever he deserved it. Back then, when Nagisa was questioning his feelings towards Yuto, he realised that the boy was so his type not just personality wise but physically too. He liked Yuto's naturally slim figure and his small heart-shaped face.

The older man just pet his partner on the head and took his hand. "I love you too. Come on, the pool's warming up now, you should feel more comfortable in the water,". Yuto nodded obediently and followed him into the water. Nagisa could tell that he was actually relaxed now; he floated in the water just fine. "You're doing well. Getting used to this should suffice you until next time,". Yuto bobbed up and down the water calmly.

'Nagi's good at a lot of things. He's good at swimming, teaching, speaking different languages, socialising, getting along with children, etc. He's good at so many things that I'm awful at'.

Scared that he'd get lost in thought and drown again, Yuto clung onto the sides of the pool. He watched Nagisa dash to the other side of the pool and back. He had to admit, being able to swim across the pool so gracefully in a record amount of time was impressive. He swam back to Yuto and pet him on the back. "I'll teach you how to swim when you're more familiar with water. You can float about for now,".

Clambering out of the pool, Yuto shook his head frantically. "No thank you, Nagi. I've had enough,". Nagisa laughed and got out as well, wrapping one warm thick towel around Yuto's shoulders while drying him off with another. "You did well today; going out into a public space. I'm proud of you,". The boy blushed and looked away. "Something so small shouldn't get such a large praise,".

Cheeky, Nagisa shook his head and covered their heads with the towel he was using to dry Yuto's hair. He pecked the boy on the lips and quickly pulled away. "That's where you're wrong. Sometimes, even the smallest things deserve praise,". Yuto smiled his usual small smile under the towel and pecked Nagisa on the lips back. "I see. Alright Nagi,". He seemed happy after being praised.

After they hung out at the pool, Nagisa wanted to bring Yuto out for dinner. Despite his social awkwardness, he still wanted his partner to experience eating out. Not a takeaway but to actually eat out. To enjoy the ambience of the restaurant. "Yuto, I can take you somewhere nice and quiet for dinner. It's about time I take you out on a date,". The boy's eyes sparkled. Sure, he'd been out at night with Nagisa before but those were dates that stretched into the night instead of being about the night.

This was something to be excited about. He remembered how lovely Shibuya looked at night and smiled to himself.

'Nagi wants me to experience new things with him'.

Pulling out the ring from his wallet, Yuto slid it around his ring finger again. "I don't mind, Nagi. Let's go,".

When they returned home from dinner, Nagisa still felt proud of Yuto. He managed to go out in public and to float in an open body of water. "Yuto~?"He cooed and hugged the boy from the back. Yuto looked up from his reference book. "I'm really, really proud of you. You did so well,". The boy leaned into Nagisa's chest, nuzzling into his warmth.

"You don't have to say it again Nagi. I get it,". The man pinched his cheeks and his heart melted. "You really don't understand how much courage you had while doing those things. My naive cute Yuto~". The boy allowed himself to get fawned over by his partner with a small smile on his face. He was finally used to receiving affection from Nagisa.

The next day, Yuto returned home from class a little earlier than his partner did. There was a letter in Nagisa's post box. He plucked it out and was surprised that it was addressed to him. He opened it and read it after entering the living room.

'Why?'.

His heart skipped a beat. The next thing he knew, he was holding back tears, crumpled on the living room floor.

'Please leave me alone'.

_φ(･ω･ Author's Note

Whose letter do you think he received? Voting is appreciated! Thank you for reading this chapter of A Heart To Heal! ♡