Beyond Words

Ethan's POV

Emily, so that's her name, pretty. I mean her name's pretty, but her attitude isn't. Why am I thinking about her while washing dishes in the middle of the night? Not that it's weird, but girls don't get to live rent free in my head that often, not even one bit. I actually didn't think we'd be living under the same roof, there are thousands of people in our university and who would've thought we would get paired up by the administration, is this a conspiracy made by the universe? Maybe, who knows? The odds might be against it.

Instead of continuously ranting, I should get these dishes done, so I can catch some z's and prepare my braincells for tomorrow. I turned the tap off, opening the drawer to grab a kitchen towel, drying all of the plates and leaving it in the dish rack. I then went around the dormitory, making sure all of the door and windows are locked tightly, and as soon as I made my way up the stairs, someone was aggressively knocking on the door. It's already 12:00 a.m in the morning, who would be knocking at someone's door around this time unless if it's Kody, that kid panics at random times. I'm not going to be surprised if he's at my doorstep, bringing his plushie and blanket, giving me a pleading look.

I inhaled deeply, massaging my temples and went back down the stairs to check who it was and this time, my intuition did not fail me. I peeked through the peephole and saw him, shuddering. I turned the sidelights on, opening the door.

"Kody, it's 12:30 a.m in the morning," I said, pointing at my watch. "What are you doing outside?"

"I heard rustling noises in my room.." he replied, shaking. "I tried ignoring it, but it won't stop.."

"Try drowning it out with music," I adviced, "and it's windy outside, so that's why you heard it."

"Are you sure it's not a boogeyman?" he asked, turning his head side to side. "or any monster?"

I patted him, "It's not, I promise. Now go back in your room before you get caught."

He nodded, "Okay, good night."

He hugged me and I watched him walk down the hall, returning to his room. I turned the sidelights off and made my way back up the stairs. Upon entering the room, all of it's lights were turned off and Emily was nowhere to be found. I scavenged around the place, noticing a door, leading to the balcony, was open. I ambled over to it and saw her there, enjoying the ocean's presence. The glint of light shoned on her face, revealing how beautiful she was. It gave me shivers down my spine and made me realize that sunshines and rainbows reveal themselves even at night. She suddenly turned around and her eyes widened as soon as she saw me, staring at her.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded.

"Oh, I-..I was going to take some fresh air," I replied, "but then I was having second thoughts since I saw you here."

"I see, would you care to join me?" She asked, pointing at me. "I mean, if you want to."

I nodded, "Sure, why not? It wouldn't hurt, right?"

She laughed and beckoned to me, "Come, join me."

I approached her, standing right next to her as I lean on the balustrade. It suddenly got windy and she spread her arms wide open as if she was about to fly, the wind ran through her hair, making it flowy.

"Isn't it nice to experience this everyday?" She inquired, putting her hands down. "It can take all of your pain and problems away for a moment."

I smiled, "It'd be better if it could take it away forever."

She sneered, "Forever? Are you that tired?"

"Mhm, glad you noticed." I sighed, looking over at the ocean. "Freedom. It's all I want, just like the ocean."

"A lot of people fear the ocean," she replied, "do you want people to fear you?"

"No, of course not."

"I just want to be fearless,"

Her eyes were suddenly filled with sorrow and she looked away for a moment.

"But I'm not. I'm just someone who puts up a fight just to prove myself to everyone that I can do it alone."

"You don't have to," she replied, "you're gonna find someone where you get to see the best version of yourself in them."

"Those kind of people still exist?"

"Yes, but rare." she replied, disappointment in her tone. "People these days just leave you all alone."

"How come? Were you left behind?"

She nodded, "Yes, but I didn't leave amidst it."

"Why are you still staying? Isn't that a valid reason to leave them too?"

"I love him so much," she mumbled, "and leaving him takes a part of me that kept me alive."

"Did you try leaving him?"

"I did. It took a lot of tries," she lamented, "but as I was doing it, I realized that no matter how slow you go, they'll never run after you."

"He promised he wouldn't leave me." she added, "where is he now? gone."

"People will always leave.." she continued, "even if they promised a thousand times that they won't."

"You shouldn't blame yourself for all of those, he didn't do anything to keep you."

"It's not your loss, it's his."

"The painful part about his leave was that.." she sighed, "he never said anything, he just did."

Emily, the girl who'll put up a fight for anyone, but deep inside she also needs someone who'll fight for her until the end of time, someone she can lean on when she gets tired from all the fights she's been through. Many of us are like her, we all just want someone whom we can find comfort, safety, and reassurance in this world filled of uncertainty, pain and lies. We all deserve an Emily, but Emily deserves a lot more, she deserves the entire universe.

"I've always been scared of losing people.." she blubbered, "afraid of losing the people I love."

"Sometimes, I even wonder.." she added, "if there is anyone out there scared of losing me."

"I am scared beyond words."

"Emily, losing you would be a grave tragedy, a kind of tragedy I wouldn't forgive myself."