YOU CONFUSE ME...

- What are you... Are you trying to say? - I want to be sure of what I think, I want to be sure of what you have told me, I want to be sure of what is in your heart.

- I already told you once... I repeat the same question. Do you still think I'm doing it to keep my promise?

- You... you have a lot of loyalty to my father - I answer him very uneasily, he fixes me with his gaze that doesn't let me blink.

-I have loyalty to you? - he answers me without adding more, he looks at my lips without dissimulation, I don't know what to answer him, I remain in total silence, without words, only confusion... My heart beats very hard - I will make you feel as uncomfortable as possible every time you feel alone - he smiles, gets up without saying any other comment leaving me with more doubts. He somehow overwhelms me, he stays in my mind without knowing why and only makes me feel a pit in my stomach like I'm worried about losing him, but I don't know when I started to feel all this.

I can't understand his sudden behavior, it's strange, and now... every day that passes... every hour I get more confused, I don't know what to think, he overwhelms me, he leaves me uneasy, I don't understand what's going on in his head.

The next day I try to practice my aim with the bow, hitting the arrow, remembering everything Hiroki said, it hurts my concentration.... I don't feel so much in the mood, moreover I'm just very muddled, I can't stop thinking... about the porch and the rain

"Naomi! Focus!" I internally shout to myself trying to look at the fixed point and not lose sight of it, I could only remember Satoshi's sword piercing the king, to my father that now because of him I have been left alone, but just remembering Satoshi, out of anger an arrow shoots until it sticks in the tree successfully. "Very good!"

- good shot. - Naoki said to his praise coming up behind me, he smiles tenderly at me - but you still lack practice.... Come I show you how it's done- he prostrates behind me using my hands as puppets to aim, like what Hiroki did the other day, but he just stood still and didn't show me anything. - Well now look at the target and imagine that you hit the fixed point to nail it- he points with his hands while controlling mine, I close my eyes frowning. I shoot looking at that point successfully, leaving the arrow in the target again. I smile happily and hug him as a way of thanking him for helping me. He hugs me very kindly.

-Thank you! - I tell him with a huge smile

- Mm... Am I interrupting something? - Hiroki surprises us with an annoyed expression of having seen us hugging. I smile telling him that I made it, he looks at me a little angry, I ask him what's wrong -you can't just go and hug any man, many are dangerous? - he warned scolding me, staring at me disappointed, I lower my head embarrassed not understanding that deal.

- What's the problem? Naoki is a good friend - I said claiming a little nervous putting my hands back like a little girl. I'm not used to being scolded like that, besides I don't understand why Hiroki gets really weird when I'm not doing anything wrong. Hiroki suddenly grabs my wrist in an exalted manner.

- Yes and Satoshi is your cousin and he betrayed you - He pulls me by the arm wanting to take me with him - Are you coming with me? -he said recasting, my breathing starts to accelerate in this awkward situation.

- No. - Naoki said showing his place and avoiding the step - aren't you tired of treating the princess as if she was your lapdog? You should treat her with respect! - Naoki glares at him, but Hiroki frowns more and more angrily.

- What do you care what I do with her? She's my fiancée anyway - Hiroki defends himself.

- I care a lot because it's her welfare that's also in my favor.

-what Naoki said... Why didn't you answer him? - I look at him, staring at him with my pupils very randomly.

- What are you talking about, what did you want me to answer him? - He raises an eyebrow pretending he doesn't know what I'm talking about.

- At least... You should have explained to him that you do it by will, You said that you...

- You think I do it out of will?! - he interrupts me with that annoying noise in my eardrums - I told you, I do it to keep my promise - he explains. I feel so much helplessness and sadness.... "was it all a lie? did they see my face again?" I feel a very intense tingling all over my body so strange, a disappointment that consumes me, in thinking that they played with me again....

- but... You... You said... That means- I mumbled so ashamed of myself "what a stupid game, I decided to believe in him.... But he only did it to make me feel protected.... It's not will... He still loves Kyoto" I clench my fist from so much anger, disappointment and sadness, I frown and stare at him with my pupils burning with rage. I send a burst of my hand bouncing to his face so hard turning his face that the roar is heard all over the room, giving him a red on his right cheek "I hit him" I saw my hands somewhat surprised, the palm is very red. I look at my palm in surprise not knowing what I just did....

- What's wrong with you, are you crazy?! - he exclaims to me very angry.

- Yes, I am crazy! - I shouted at him very furious because of the pain I feel. I didn't realize until then that I was already falling in love with Hiroki. Tears trickled down my cheeks like water - you're an idiot..... - I give sobs of fury. I leave the room running to the exit to outside the mansion, Hiroki didn't say a single word, he just stands there quietly, not moving, he doesn't even stop me or apologize.

I drop behind the mansion crying, I lean against a wall; I put my knees on my chest and drop my head on these with my arms around so I don't feel anyone and be alone. "why do I feel so bad? Naomi you fool, you fell again. Now you realize what.... You like Hiroki" I said to myself in tears, giving the reason why I felt so bad.

I think that now my heart... has become trampled again, I who thought about protecting him... when he doesn't even have the intentions to protect me, and now I don't know what to do with this feeling, that now even though I cry and "hate" him he doesn't get off me, that now... I am realizing... that I have been getting closer, when from the beginning I should have stayed away, I shouldn't have gotten involved, I shouldn't have gotten closer to these flames and instead... I did it.... I ended up getting so close, that instead of burning just a little, I ended up being melted into ashes, I ended up now hating myself for trusting again, for allowing this deal again "I think... I like pain... because now... I'm liking you... how I hate this" is the only thing I can think now, is the only thing I can submerge myself between hate and love, and now I feel a sea sinking my body in that taste for Hiroki.