YOU WILL BE MINE AGAIN!

After spending a few hours that I did not move from my bed all day reflecting, so much so that Hiroki came to imagine that I was sick. All I could think about was everything that was happening and the last thing I wanted was to disappear. Everything comes out so fast, it was like being in a dream, a nightmare that I want to wake up from.

-Naomi... I brought you food- interrupts the voice that was the only way to give me strength.

-Thanks Hiroki- I give a half smile- but I'm not hungry.

-Still, you have to eat or you'll get sicker," she insists so kindly. I nodded offering the food. He sits next to me to give me teriyaki like a little girl. - What did you talk to Satoshi about? - she asks suddenly, which startled me out of place. With difficulty I swallow the food without answering her anything about it.

-How do you know...

-Soshi your little friend confessed everything to me and my aunt... agreed to let him stay for a couple of days to keep you safe...? - he says a little irritated, I give a stress grimace. He looks at me again and asks me a second time wanting to get the truth out of me.

-Mm... He... Apparently it was all a misunderstanding," I stammer.

- How can he make a misunderstanding after seeing how he killed your father and practically kicked you out!

-Soshi also assures him that Satoshi is not really the bad guy of the story..." I try to defend him a little bit, but I couldn't assure anything either - believe me I don't understand anything of what is happening either...

-Naomi, have you already forgiven him so quickly? - he looks at me seriously as if he was interrogating me, I try to deny it, but it's partly true... I think I already forgave him deep down even with everything that has happened.

-No, of course not... Hiroki is not easy, but I can't hold a grudge in my soul either, besides we can't be sure if he's really bad- "but we can't be sure if he's good either".

-Do you still like him? - That brings me more out of tone, but I wasn't sure, on the one hand, now I know that Satoshi is not the villain, I can't stop thinking about everything we have lived, our history, and, even so, I don't stop thinking that sometimes my heart usually beats, but I feel it's not the same? I can't be sure of anything, because I'm as lost as Hiroki.

-I... I don't know... - "how bad is it to be honest"? I hurt others for being lost, for trying to escape.

-Do you want to marry him? - I can't be sure about that either, it was really what I wanted the most, but now I don't know anymore... Hiroki causes me something stranger and that I can't understand.

-... Hiroki... I don't know... I feel... lost... And even more when you are also in the same... -I look at him sadly -I ask you the same questions... If you want me to be clear with you, be clear with me... Do you like Kyoto? - he is so quiet, he doesn't give me any answer, apparently he is just as disoriented as I am, in his look sometimes I can see that I am not that woman, but there are times when I want to think that it's just my own exaggeration. Suddenly someone interrupts us entering without warning, it was Satoshi, just the person that Hiroki wants to break his face ...

-What are you doing here?! - exclaims Hiroki standing up, I try to calm him down explaining him, he understands me, but he is still very upset about what happened a couple of days ago... I begged him to let me listen to him and Hiroki agrees without losing sight of him

-Naomi...- ignores Hiroki's presence pretending he doesn't exist, I can feel his anger -I have something to tell you, I'll leave early tomorrow, I'll leave Soshi hidden here, but I would like us to sleep for tonight -I open my eyes to his unsuspecting request.

-I...

-No! -Hiroki intervenes- she is my fiancée and I say no! - she looks at him defiantly.

-I think she has to make her own decision, she is not your dog for you to be giving her orders, if you are not married yet- he threatened.

- She is mine, therefore, I have the right to say no - that comment insinuating "she is mine" as if I were her property or her trophy, got on my nerves.

-She has never been yours! Just because the king said you were her fiancé doesn't mean she wants to be with you," Satoshi demanded, wanting to take me with him.

-In case you forget... she is going to marry me, because she is my fiancée, she belongs to me! - when I said those words, I felt... that I was being treated as an object, as a simple trophy, it infuriates me that Hiroki has no respect for what I decide and doesn't trust me.

- what are you insinuating... - I look at him perplexed and very annoyed - You have no right.... You haven't even decided to say that I'm your property - I frown - or are you just feeding your pride? how can you say something like that, when you lie to me loving another woman? he remains silent, I look at him furious knowing that what I'm saying is true... if he hasn't decided yet, how can he say that I'm his property? Hiroki withdraws with a very annoyed grunt. I watch him leave indignantly, it's horrible to think that I look like a prize that they want to get the hard way, and not only for Hiroki and Satoshi's side, but for the person who wants to finish me off I'm also like a trophy. I had no choice but to sleep with Satoshi... I still had my doubts, I keep my distance all the time.

I let my hair down after keeping it caught all day and caress my hair very melancholic; Satoshi's hands landed on my belly and intertwined my waist into Satoshi's body "what are you doing!" my cheeks burn from nerves, I pull away from him immediately, he looks at me confused and offended. I swallow my saliva nervously.

- Do I make you nervous or do you just don't want me to hug you? - he asks between mocking and sarcastic.

-I... I'm still Hiroki's fiancée... -I try not to look at his face, he remains silent nodding a couple of times and lies down.... I give a heavy sigh, the bad atmosphere is formed; I lie down next to him on my back, but there was still pressure in the atmosphere for many minutes, I'm not sure if it's been hours already.

-I can't believe that even after how he treated you like a lap dog, you say that you are his fiancée.... - he said so annoyed, it was the first time he got mad at me, but I guess I partly deserve it, in theory he's absolutely right after he hasn't even decided which woman he really loves.

- He's not bad... He just... He doesn't know how to express himself... - I defend him very calmly trying to justify his very reckless behavior.

- And you still defend him!... I thought our connection was never going to fade away Naomi... Didn't that kiss mean anything to you? - I feel like he's burning with jealousy and anger, I can feel the heaviness in his words.

- Satoshi... You of all people know that things have changed, it's really not my problem.... I really don't know how to look at you anymore - I told him sadly without adding another comment. He suddenly sits down very abruptly almost on top of me holding my fists - what are you doing Satoshi - I whisper very scared.

- Do you think it doesn't hurt? - I see him upset, I never saw him like this- I know more than anyone that things have changed, but I was expecting at least your forgiveness, how much is asking for that?!

-Shh, shut up, they'll hear you! - I ask her to calm down so that no one would come in and there would be a misunderstanding.

- You're not supposed to be in love with anyone else, why now Naomi?!

- because you asked for it! - I confronted him worse in whispers- because it's not always easy, because that's how everything changes- he holds my fists harder.

- Then... You'll be mine again! - he comes a few centimeters closer to my lips wanting to hurt me, but I turn my face away without giving him a chance.

- No! - I exclaim a little louder - stop.... Don't do this... It's not right... Please stop... - he notices that what he is doing is not right, he knows more than anyone that you can't force someone to be with you, he looks at me pleased and disappointed in himself, he turns away from me trembling with very watery eyes.

- ... This means... I can't have you anymore... - his gaze crystallizes, grabbing his head in despair - I really did everything wrong... - he winces... I look at him very sad...

If things were to change, would I fall in love with Satoshi? or Hiroki? decisions are hard and whichever one you choose will hurt anyone, is this the price for love? heartbreak is part of fighting for something that is hard to have and even harder when you don't know what you want. In fact, it's harder if you don't know if he loves you....