Chapter 47: The Speak of Unspeakable Feelings

As soon as the dinner ended, Slavica stayed with the others and Celene to talk more about the changes around as well as about what the duchess/princess was feeling around her Aspire clan. But as for Gwen, she went to her silence and began sensing the whereabouts of Wilma since they have something to discuss.

"Wilma, are you free now? Can we talk?" Gwen quickly asked as soon as she sensed where Wilma could be.

'Come to my office. You'll know where it is.'

"Okay." She said then she turned her attention back to her friends.

"Guys, I've gotta go. I'll be with Wilma." She informed them as she get up from her seat.

"Do you know where her office will be? None of us knew her office around here." Celene asked since it's true that nobody knew her office was located - even the other founders couldn't tell where it was.

"She told me that I'll know where it is." Gwen shrugged her shoulders as she also didn't know where to start on looking for it but she have to believe that she could find it.

"I see. Good luck with finding it." Celene wished her luck which she totally needed.

"Thanks. See you guys later." Gwen thanked her before she kissed Slavica's forehead and waved to her friends then leave them alone at the cafeteria.

Gwen went out of the cafeteria and took a deep breath a couple of times before she finally felt something strange coming from her right. She turned her heels and went that way without doubt. She just headed that way even though there was nothing else to turn to.

"That's odd. It's a dead end." Gwen muttered to herself as soon as she reach the end of the hall.

But the strange thing was, the energy that she was feeling was pointing her to pass the wall. She sighed and touched the wall. She even closed her eyes to feel even more of what lies behind the wall until it began to move. Her hand that was touching the wall suddenly passed and going through it, she began to feel coldness but later it turned to normal temperature.

"Wow…" Gwen only reacted as soon as she opened her eyes and seeing on how majestic the sight was.

Every nature was completely around and they were not fighting against each other. They were balanced and the animals or other unnamed creatures were living in harmony as they still do their part in nature.

"How peaceful right?" Wilma suddenly said as soon as she showed herself walking toward Gwen's side.

"Yeah, nothing like where we're living." Gwen agreed as they started walking around the peaceful and soothing nature that was surrounding them.

"True, this is the realm that I created to tame creatures. I am teaching them how to live around nature and with other creatures." Wilma agreed and introduced the realm to Gwen. Gwen was amazed that Wilma could create a place for the other creatures to dwell at ease and not cause amok. Totally not like where they were living at the present.

"Do the other founders know this place?" she wondered if the other DIP founders knew the existence of Wilma's created realm.

"Yes, from time to time the other founders paid them a visit which is totally kind of them to do that." She answered Gwen.

"So this is what amazon-shaman can do." Gwen guessed and Wilma nudged her side before looking in one direction. It was an elk staring back at Gwen.

"Yes, aside from hunting, healing, and having a foresight." Wilma was smiling when she confirmed what Gwen had just guessed.

"Okay, but why it was staring at me?" she asked since the huge elk was mighty and powerful while staring at Gwen.

"Only you can tell. Go on and touch it." Wilma said and even usher Gwen to pet the creature.

Gwen gulped but she calm herself down before she approached it carefully. But Gwen felt on stopping getting close to it until the huge elk went closer to her and in return it didn't just bow its head but kneeled. For some reason, Gwen understood that she could pet its head and when she does, something suddenly passed through her entire body. She gasped in surprise but she smiles.

"What just happened there, Wilma?" Gwen asked while petting the huge elk.

"It just acknowledges you as its mistress." Wilma approached them and the huge elk get up from kneeling and bowed at her presence.

"Mistress? Meaning, I'll be able to summon him in case I call for his help?" Gwen wondered and Wilma nodded.

"Yes, but only if you gave a name to it. Go and be the king of your herd." Wilma added but it commanded the huge elk. It bowed one more time before leaving and runs around the field with its herd.

Gwen was totally fascinated by how soothing and peaceful she was feeling around Wilma's realm. She even took in the fresh air around that made Wilma chuckle.

"Do have something else to ask me, Gwen?" Wilma asked to change the subject.

"Oh about that, can you tell me more about it? There were times it confuses me and recently I just sucked energy life force and then turned them into these orbs." Gwen recalled what's the real reason for wanting to speak with her. Then she opened her palm just to show Wilma the colorful orbs that she gathered earlier.

"You are still young but you can do already what I can…" Wilma was surprised but not much. She just smiled at how growth Gwen was already achieved in a short period of time.

"Meaning?" Gwen curiously asked.

"Seems like you're going to inherit my ability one day." Wilma just chuckled and Gwen sort of understood what she was saying.

"Then can you help me be prepared for it?" Gwen asked.

"Sure but you need to be fully aware first of changes that were happening to you." Wilma agreed as she started walking around again to the realm that she created.

"Changes…" Gwen muttered as she thought deeply which made Wilma chuckle again. She decided to grab Gwen's wrist and take her to a certain part of her realm with just one snap of her finger.

Wilma take her to a certain part where a misty pond was located and when she let Gwen touch the water on the pond, it began to glow. It was glowing like a beating heart until it began to show images from Gwen's past.

She was once in the orphanage and isolated from the other kids but growing up it changes. She became easy to approach until her adoptive parents came and took her with them. She became a well-trained fellow at a young age but hitting puberty they let her have a normal life and only be trained whenever needed or asked. Then she grew up a very famous model but due to the loss, she retire and focus on helping the orphanage until the incident happened.

"That's my old life." Gwen felt a pang in her chest but didn't cry. She just felt what she used to feel back then while looking at the images reflected on the pond.

"Your usual life but those practices that you take with your adaptive parents mold you to be strong for whatever comes your way." Wilma added while smiling as she took a seat on the grassy ground that Gwen followed.

"What does it do to my changes?" Gwen wondered while sitting and still staring at the pond.

"Compare who you were once to now, then tell me what you find." Wilma answered as she let herself lay down on the grass while Gwen take a deep sigh and stared more at the images on the pond.

Gwen watched before her eyes what lies from her past even though it was not in full detail but it was still a part of her past. She carefully recall them and when she had enough of reading her past self, she closed her eyes. She began thinking what was the difference between her past self to the recent one. She feel them until some tears began to fall.

"I miss being an innocent kid. But like what the other adults were saying…kids don't worry about anything but adults worry too much about everything." Gwen started by stating to Wilma what she could find deeply in herself.

"Well, it's a life of being a human…a cycle of life…human nature…" she went on she kept feeling herself.

"I'm happy being free but growing up changes things…free but limited on doing things…to the point forgetting what matters in life…not everything revolves around money and fame…" It saddens Gwen when she realized what she had before was not making her really happy. Maybe just at the moment but when she lost her adoptive parents they shattered into pieces.

"Being stuck on the repeated cycle was totally suck and suffocating. I didn't realize that I'm already a negative thinker to myself. I didn't realize that I divided myself to save myself from my own negativities. Nobody knows that and their comments might be positive to them but it could bring any negative person down…it was really hard to breathe and ready to end things but couldn't. Something was preventing me and only tears could set things free even just for a moment. I took it." Gwen cried her heart as she recalled what she had gone through.

"Praying to take that feeling out and make it stop but it was still there…until I had enough and let it go. I couldn't bear it anymore and decided to live in a flow with nothing to feel but couldn't…something was stopping me again and telling me to keep living and have the life I should be having. I survived." Gwen might still have her tears falling from her eyes but there's a smile forming when she mentioned surviving.

"To others, they might say it was too late or your too old to change or move your life but only one mighty heaven can decide on that. When heaven decided for your time to come and change, you will just be going to feel them and nobody else can stop the process of that change especially when I already made the firm decision." She expressed the changes that happened to her in the process that took a lot of years before she reach where she was now.

"Owning the life that was given to me, taking the changes that were happening, and not letting the negativity take over me again…not this time…I'm not gonna let it win me…" She began stating the decision that she made to herself and it made Wilma smile while listening to her.

"Decide to be happy and be positive. Have faith that life still offers chances to change for the better. Keep having hope in the chosen life that willing to take to make life better than it used to be. And accept the patience of unconditional love can do as it grows inside the heart then there she is, someone already found me. I love for the first time and yet, I know it will last forever." Gwen finished what she was feeling deep within her as she opened her crying eyes. Wilma already sat up beside her and helped her wipe those tears away.

Gwen kept crying her out there to Wilma who pulled her into her arms and let those tears to be out. They were mixed emotions of realization and acceptance of who Gwen was before and the changes that were happening to her. It might be slow changes but she keeps her faith and hopes for a better version of herself one day.

"You're never alone in your internal battle. Just keep going and fighting the life and love you deserve because you're worthy of it." Wilma was soothing her back and Gwen was slowly calming down from crying her heart there.

"And these changes will keep happening because you're full of hope and love that you only discover now." She continued that made Gwen sniff one last time before pulling away and looking at her.

"Will it help me understand the powers that might awaken in the middle of the fight?" Gwen asked as hope reflected in her eyes made Wilma smile assuringly.

"It will, just have faith in yourself and what you can do. It will bring you to the life you deserve." Wilma answered her with assurance and Gwen nodded as she snuggled in her understanding arms of hers.

"Also, now that you found her, speak the unspeakable feelings in your heart you her." She added that made Gwen nod but chuckled as she thought of Slavica.

After just a few minutes of holding each other, Gwen finally felt comforted and calmed down which made her pull away from Wilma. She felt that she was being cradled there by her mothers and she smiled at that feeling.

"So, feel better than earlier?" Wilma caught her attention.

"Yeah, thank you." Gwen sincerely thanked Wilma for the comforting words and arms that wrapped around her earlier. She really needed them.

"Whenever you are lost, stop, breathe, and close your eyes then feel from the heart. Remember that, Gwen." Wilma gave her advice that she know Gwen will remember and even use it whenever it was needed.

"I will. So, what can I do now with these?" Gwen smiled but then asked as she showed the colorful orbs once again.

"Rest, tomorrow after your meeting with the other founders, come here. I will teach on how to cultivate them." She ruffled her hair and insisted that she has to rest. She even offered of teaching her how to tame a creature.

"YES! FINALLY SOMETHING TO DO THAN FIGHTING!" Gwen was totally ecstatic about what Wilma told her.