Holy Me

"And this is where my advice must end." Anansi said. "Remember, don't be stupid."

"I'll try not to." I said.

He shook his head. "Lies."

"Truthspeaker." I said, turning to find him gone. "I literally cannot lie to you."

I turned back toward the Holy River, and fell to my knees, clutching my left side in pain.

"Yeah." Manajuwejet said, emerging from the sand. "Damn appendix."

"What in the seven hells is happening to me, Manajuwejet?"

He took in a deep breath. "Okay. What do you know about how Gods are born?"

"Am I about to get a divine midwifery class?" I asked.

"Pretty much. Yeah. Only, the thing is you're about to give birth to you. Sometime in the next forty eight thousand or so years."

I blinked tears from my eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm going to be in pain like this for seven thousand times how long I've already been alive?"

"More or less. Yeah. I'd work on that pain tolerance, might come in handy."