Every son’s first hero

It was more than seven minutes of driving on the road, dad kept silent, and I wasn't patient, "do you wanna know why I wanted to leave?" he didn't show any signs of interest, just kept driving and took a while before answering me, "I think I know."

"And…what do you think it is?"

"The only thing that always makes problems…The truth," he smiled.

I was surprised by how he looked super-wise, "yes indeed, it is the truth… and I feel that I need it,"

He nodded affirmatively, "you don't just need it…You deserve it."

He stopped the car under a shadow of a tree and turned off the engine, he took a deep breath and began talking, "I don't know where to start, because, I don't know what is the beginning, or the end to this story…I mean your story, you seemed happy and nothing was bothering you, I mean… you were delighted since you have graduated with a good mark, and we were happy for you of course…The thing I don't understand is…" as my father was speaking with a broken voice, he hold back his tears and continued, " the thing I don't understand…and also your mother couldn't absorb, is where we have mistaken…? I want to know…"

I wanted to tell him that he wasn't the reason, but my memory kept betraying me, and I couldn't say anything since I didn't know what the young me had felt.

-Yes, I know what the reason for my suicide which was the love, but I'm one hundred percent sure that there are more things the backstage that made me think of killing myself-

My father completed his words, "So, one day, I was at work until I got a call from the hospital telling me that your son is hurt and his situation is unstable, after one day in the hospital, the police told us that it was a suicide..."

I interrupted him, "How did they know it was a suicide?"

"A letter," he answered.

"A letter?" in wonder.

"Yes, a suicide letter…well I don't think I should call it a letter,"

"Why is that?" I asked him.

"It was too short; maybe a note is more precise." My dad answered.

"Can I see it?"

He pulled a cheat of paper from his jacket and gave it to me; it was the same paper the same ink and the same handwriting on Sara's letter.

The letter said, "Mom, dad," with a broken heart, drawn at the end.

"WTF is that?" I wondered.

"Watch your mouth…and yes indeed, WTF…" he said in a reasonable accent.

"That is a shitty letter…" I smiled.

"Yeah…I don't know the weirdo who wrote that." my dad looked out of the window and smiled also.

"I can only think of one person…"

"Who?" he asked.

"I think that one of your son's actions… I mean…He definitely inherited your cleverness." I burst out laughing at my dad.

He hit me in the arm and laughed a lot.

After the funny moment passed, he shushed a little bit, and told me, "Look son…I don't wanna stand in your destiny, you suffered a lot to get to this point in your career and I'm sure that when God kept your education inside of that tiny brain…" he pointed to my head and smiled, "…is part of a plan he made especially for you… I'm like terrified, I'm scared to death and I'm afraid of losing you…again…" I couldn't hold the tears in my eyes.

My dad didn't stop speaking and in a sad accent, "…You are the best thing that happened in my life, so believe me when I say that you are the other half of my soul and by losing you, I will lose not just my mind but myself also…

Look, son, if you are the half of my soul, then, know that you are your mother's whole soul…okay, imagine that by losing you, I lose you and your mother, so I lose my two halves at once, and I'm gonna be just a dead body, like a glass without water in it or a sky without a sun …what will be left of me is nothing…"

-He made himself clear and I didn't know the words to describe myself hearing my father's deepest feelings and absorbing all the damage I can cause just by vanishing.-

I just tried my best to give him my word and my promise to let him trust me again, and let him give me his fate in my hands, "I don't know what I have to say to make you satisfied, but, know something dad! I'll never be going to hurt you or my mother, you must dig that inside the walls of your head."

He smiled, "Thank you,"

"So… college…?" with all the excitement, I smiled and said.

"Mmm… not so fast, you still have a stubborn woman to convince her…" he turned on the engine, said his words, and smiled also.

-Yes…he was talking about my mom, his words made me think all the way home, how I should tell her that she should let her amnesiac son leave the nest-

As we entered the house, I whispered to my dad, "You must help me…"

He winked, and normally entered, removing his jacket and his shoes, my mom came from her bedroom to see me, "hey kasseri, was the tour good…?" she asked without any expressions of worry or anger.

"Tour…?" I whispered in confusion, Without warning, I saw my father giving me that look and winked again, dad said while fixing his jacket and trying not to look at mom, "yeah, he liked the city a lot," I understood that my mom didn't have an idea I went to the therapist, maybe my father told her that I went on a tour in town.

"Oh! Of course, the tour... Yes, it was great… as my father has told you, the city was perfect."

I felt like the way I threw my words out of my mouth wasn't convincing and made my mom suspicious.

"Okay, good then, go change your clothes, and let's eat, I made your best meal," she said with excitement.

"Okay…" I was going to my room but I couldn't just pass what she said, "…mom!" I called her.

"Yes, honey,"

"What is my best meal…?" I felt weird while asking the question.

My mother answered, "Oh, it's the frog's legs…"

It was so disgusting and I didn't know what to say, "Oh…okay…"

-Between all of what God created for us to eat, I decided to love… Frogs !"-

She burst laughing, "Look at your face…Oh I got you so good," she made me confused and her smile made me happy at the same time.

"I was joking…and you believed it… Haha…" she said what she said with a lot of laughter, and made me laugh.

"So, what is my best meal…I hope it's not some Fried crickets"

She laughed, "oh God..! Don't worry it's not that…However, I'm not going to tell you what is it until you taste it yourself."

"I'm so okay with that idea…" while smiling I spoke with my mom.

"…There is a slight problem, I'm afraid you'll tell me that you're full when I finish cooking it."

"Are you kidding? I'm starving." I said with excitement.

"But your dad told me that you have eaten in a… restaurant" before she finished her speech, the smile on her face vanished like she discovered something.

"Harrow!!" after she yelled at my dad in a loud voice, she walked toward the bedroom causing an earthquake with all the rage inside of her…