this side of paradise

when they had arrived back at the younger boy's apartment, louis felt himself relax a bit more, and he had noticed more things about the place than before. the first time he came, they were both hardly sober enough to think coherently, not to mention see the small details of the room in the dark. the second time, which was just earlier today, louis only waited at the door briefly before they departed. so he was here for what felt like the first time, despite the odd familiarity of it all.

like his car, harry's apartment was also very him. candles and incense everywhere, a neat, albeit small kitchen, and everything being perfectly organized in the most disorganized way possible. a way that only harry could seamlessly find everything—yet not everything was practical. but that's just who harry was. decorated, but impractical. one of the things that the smaller boy found so enamoring about him.

there was a wall of bookshelves with a large selection of novels, magazines, textbooks, comics, and academic journals that had caught louis' eye.

"i didn't know you read so much," he said pointedly.

"you didn't? i assumed you would have noticed from coming here the first time."

"neither of us were particularly… present. or paying any sort of attention to our surroundings. so, no. i didn't notice."

"what, we were talking about the meaning of life but you weren't even present in the moment, talking to me?" harry smirked, itching to tease the boy to get a cute reaction.

"first of all, curly mchazza pants," louis emphasized, trying not to giggle, "we were not talking about the meaning of life. nothing so pretentious. you don't even remember our conversation." he pouted, feigning hurt.

"we spoke about writing and music and loneliness, thank you very much. basically life summed up, no?" harry retorted.

"okay, fine. you win, styles. but only because i'm choosing to be the bigger man and can accept that you're still a stubborn kid,"

"you're not the bigger anything," harry laughed, carefully watching the ocean boy's reaction. he'd begun to watch his tongue now, ever since the first day, when talking about size or food or anything. today's mess had only reinforced that.

luckily, louis only laughed, turning his attention to the bookshelves. "man, styles. you really have quite the assortment, here," he quipped, adding on quietly, "makes me jealous."

before harry could really think about what he was saying, the words just fell out of his mouth. "you're welcome here anytime, though. and you can borrow whatever you want. even keep your favorites."

louis gave him an astonished look, causing his stomach and heart to flip inside of him. what if he was too hasty, or coming off as too strong. but the ocean boy's eyes ended up melting into a smile, crinkling up at the corners in that way harry loves. "thank you, love," he said warmly. "i-"

as if someone were trying to sabotage their moment, harry's phone had begun to ring obnoxiously. he cursed under his breath, taking it out of his pocket to see that it was niall. the lad was never really considerate, but harry knew there was not way for him to have known, and it was his own fault for not having his phone on silent anyway. reluctantly, he accepted the call.

"hello? i'm kind of in the middle of something," he said, annoyed, to which louis snickered childishly at.

"oh, sorry! i didn't know. i was just wondering if i could drop by tonight and pick up my bag i left at your place last week. but i mean, if you've got something going on, it can wait. it's just, it's got this textbook i need for econ, and i've got this paper due, and i don't really kn-"

"i get it, niall." harry sighed, exasperated, yet he expected nothing less of his best friend, whom he had known since secondary school. "you can come on down whenever. i'll be home all day, anyway. i've got someone over, though."

"oh yeah?" niall lilted, "someone cute? you interested in them? i'd like to meet them now. i'll make a point of announcing my presence just to talk to this mysterious person you brought."

"oh, shut up," harry blushed. "it's- it's not like that. i don't think. i mean, i don't really know. but he's cute. whatever. stop being an idiot. i'll personally murder you in your sleep if you decide to do something stupid."

"oh, it's a he, huh?" the irish boy prodded even further, before calming down. "don't worry. i know, and i also just want to see if he's good for you. protective friend stuff and everything."

harry smiled, irritation flowing out of him from just those words. he and his friends cared for each other relentlessly, and he was grateful for having such people in his life. "i get it, niall. thanks, mate."

"right, i'll text you when i'm coming. see you in a bit!"

louis raised his eyebrows at harry as the latter set down his phone and sighed. "you good there, mate?" he said, bemusedly.

"yeah… niall's just coming later to pick up some stuff he left. he was just being a proper dickhead about it."

"no worries, should i get going, though, or…?"

"no!" harry accidentally exclaimed unconsciously, then getting embarrassed at the height of his voice. "no. it'll be quick and, uh, he said he wants to meet you, anyway."

"so i heard." the ocean boy was still snickering at harry's embarrassment, which harry secretly found to be the most endearing thing he's ever seen, despite the world having seemed to go against him all day.

"whatever, i should be doing work, anyway. i've got a music theory test coming up."

so the boys passed their afternoons as such, louis browsing through harry's personal library and the taller boy grievously flipped through his textbook wishing he could be spending more time conversing directly with louis. though, this was comforting, in a sense, and much better than spending the afternoon studying alone in his apartment. it was something he decided he could get used to.

when harry decided that he'd done enough work for the day, having strummed through chords on his guitar (while louis pretended not to be interested but both boys knew that he was peering up from his book in wonder) as well as reviewed the conceptual stuff from the class, he set down his things and plopped himself comfortable next to louis on the old sofa.

"as i lay dying, huh?" he said gingerly. "that book fucked me up for a couple of nights, i couldn't stop thinking about it. faulkner was truly a master of prose."

"yeah. i read absalom, absalom! and planned on reading more of his works. don't tell me what happens in the end. but so far, i can really only understand darl. he seems like the only sane one out of them all."

harry smirked, knowing full well what happens in the end. darl is the one that unhinges the most. "yeah, i guess so." he continued when louis didn't respond. "so, do you read a lot?"

"yeah. i enjoy reading, it's really comforting and i love how language is used to make even the most mundane seem special. i am an english major, after all."

harry enjoyed listening to louis talk about his interests, and somehow listening to the way he articulates his thoughts reminded him of the way that authors shape their words with a magic touch. as if they were some stretchy substance, like taffy. sweet, thick, and constantly getting stuck between teeth. "so, what's your favorite book?"

"i'm not sure, to be honest. though, the tempest holds a really special place in my heart. snobbish, i know. it's shakespeare, after all. the ending is just so comforting, you know? compared to hamlet, anyway. it's a story of communion in the end, despite all the fucked up things. even though things don't work that way in reality. but that's why we read, i guess. to escape."

harry frowned at this. "you don't think good things happen in real life?"

"no, that's not what i meant." louis paused, "they do. but it doesn't ever stop there. we don't know what happens after the end of books, so when it's a happily ever after, we accept that at face value. but the real world has no happily ever after. we all die, we all suffer, happiness ends. that's just how it is."

"things do get better, you know. even though you're right that everything does come to an end, it's still worth it, don't you think?"

"i- i guess so." louis looked up at harry softly, almost sadly, as if he didn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. it was then when harry decided he would prove to the boy that there is such thing as a 'happily ever after'. and that the he wanted the ocean boy to be his endgame.