19) Wednesday: Emma

The moment Emma opened her eyes ans saw the day of the week flashing on her alarm clock, she was filled with utter horror and fear.

"Time to get up, Emma!" Mom called from the hallway.

Her voice sounded cheerful and lilted, but to Emma, it was the song of a Siren singing to her as if she were a sailor.

"Emma? Are you up?"

"Yeah, Mom!"

Emma hoped that Mom could not hear the obvious tremble in her voice. She worried that Mom would know her thoughts, know her feelings.

Emma felt the anxiety rising, but she managed to swallow it before it became out of control.

"Kat? Are you up?" Mom called at the next bedroom door, before continuing down the hallway to rap at every other door and cry through the lock if the child within was awake. Clearly, she had not noticed.

Emma could not eat her breakfast that morning nor could she eat her lunch at school. Feeling concerned, Bailey asked her if she was okay.

"Just really anxious. Don't worry about me though."

"I am going to be right there with you, Emma, she has got to listen!"

"I really hope so." responded Emma, half heartedly.

Her whole mind was overpowered by the fear that Mom would either send her off to the crazy house or simply not believe her. Telling Mom could change so many things, and Emma hated change more than she hated anything else.

To Emma, it seemed as if it was the longest school day of her life. Maths seemed monotonous, biology boring, and she could barely concentrate in chemistry. Everything seemed drawn out and horrible. She just wanted everything to go faster, so that she could end all this anxiety. She just wanted Wednesday to be over so that she could know her fate. Whether it be good or bad, Emma just wanted it all to be over.

All that she could think of was the moment after school when she and Bailey would be bringing Mom the awful news that her daughter was a nutter and needed help. She was absolutely petrified about what Mom's reaction would be, although she found some comfort in the fact that Bailey would be right there with her.

Bailey would support her. Bailey would convince Mom. Bailey would be her hero.

Mrs Arense had said that it was a good idea that Bailey was going to help Emma tell her mother, she had also given Emma her cellphone number.

"Now you have both Bailey and my number." she had said, "so if you are ever a danger to yourself again, please phone one of us."

Emma had thanked her, and hurried out of the classroom. Mrs Arense had said that she really should have reported her, but since she saw that Emma was taking steps to insure her safety, she would not. However, she said, that Emma had to be honest with her if her life was in danger.

She promised that she would not report Emma, as long as Emma seemed determined to help herself as well.

Emma had pointed out, that there was no way to stop someone from committing suicide, because if they wanted to, they would find a way to do it.

Mrs Arense had just smiled and said that she knew that Emma would not be like one of those people. Emma was not so sure if Mrs Arense was right about that, but she was determined to make Mrs Arense proud.

"You are going to lose your daughter if you don't do something." Bailey said, her voice was stern, but to Emma, she seemed powerful and authoritative.

The party sat in the lounge, Mom on one couch, Emma and Bailey on the other. Mom was balancing Lee on her knee, but Emma did not mind that she was there, she was too little to understand what was going on.

Mom looked concerned at Bailey's statement, but Emma had to admit that it was a powerful conversation starter, not to mention true.

"Emma feels very depressed lately, and it is affecting her daily life. I also suffer from depression, and I can tell you that taking the medication has really helped me."

Mom was silent for a moment.

"Emma, is this true? Do you have depression?"

"Yes Mom, I do. Please listen to Bailey, she knows what she is talking about."

"I would recommend taking Emma to a psychologist to get her the help that she needs, because if you do not do something, you may not have your daughter anymore. Emma has been through a lot and sometimes she feels suicidal."

Emma and Bailey had discussed this, Bailey was going to say that Emma felt suicidal, but she was not going to say that she had attempted to kill herself. She was also not going to let Mom know that she cut.

Mom looked at Emma. Her face had gone snow white, and her mouth was slightly open. She still said nothing though, and Emma wondered if this was because of shock or anger. Was she angry that her eldest daughter was falling into her father's footsteps? Was she shocked that she had missed that her eldest daughter was suffering?

"I am really sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but I have helped Emma as much as possible and I don't think that I can help her anymore. She needs a psychologist. She needs professional help."

"Mom? Do you understand?" Emma asked, looking at her mother.

Mom looked sick, as sick as a dog. Her skin was pale and clammy, but she did not answer Emma's question.

"Mom?"

Without warning, Mom suddenly burst into floods of tears. Emma and Bailey were at a loss of what to do, having not anticipated sobbing whatsoever.

Lee looked at Mom in surprise, and Nat came running down from her bedroom to see what was the matter with Mom. The four children in the room were unsure of how to tread, worried that they would make the woman howl even more.

"I have failed as a mother!" The distraught woman sobbed, blowing her nose loudly on a used tissue that she had pulled out of her pocket.

"Not at all Mrs Cawood! Not at all! Your daughter is sill alive, but she is counting on you to do right by her and get her the help that she needs."

Bailey was a really remarkable convincer, Emma thought to herself, had she been alone in this situation, she would most likely have run a mile and tried to get away from her mother's sobs, but Bailey was handling it wonderfully.

"You don't understand, you are just children! I was unable to stop her father, I lost him because of my own mismanagement and his refusal to be helped... what makes you think that I can help my daughter!"

"Mrs Cawood, Emma wants to be helped, that is the difference. All you need to do is get her the help that she needs. I know that we do not understand your situation, yet, I still empathise with you, but you have your child to take care of, so please do so."

Mom stopped bawling immediately at this, and looked over at Bailey.

"Thank you. Thank you for telling me so that I did not have to go through what I went through with my husband, with my daughter."

At that point, Nat rushed over to Mom embracing her in a warm, loving hug, concern written all over her little face. Lee slipped of Mom's knee, and turned to embrace Mom as well

Emma and Bailey looked at each other, and then slipped off to the other room, leaving Mom to wallow in her thoughts and come up with the courage to help her daughter. All that should have been said, was said, now it was Mom's turn to do her part.