Chapter 13: I Was Fine Before You

Five Years Ago

About three months or so had past since Senka and Hisoka's encounter at Mel's club and was she furious. By she, meaning Senka, well Mel too but more Senka. Feeling humiliation and victimized, she wanted absolutely nothing more than to kill that psycho. Senka, however, never seemed to find him unless he wanted to be found. Through Mel and a few other sources, the girl found out little detail and information on her assailant.

For starters, his name was Hisoka, no one seemed to know his last name. Not that it was a odd thing, she definitely kept hers on the down low. Age was unknown as well, actually much had been made unavailable to her. The only thing she found out was that he was incredibly strong, favored others whom pecked his interest and waited until they were worth killing. That part didn't settle too well with Senka. Digging more into it, she discovered Hisoka had a thing for partically anything walking on two legs that could be potential targets.

According to Mel, he'd come to the club every now and then just for information on those same potential targets and such. From adding all that to what happened, Senka safely concluded she could stay far away from him as possible. It was enough to know he had stolen something precious already, she wished to not allow him take anything more. It wasn't his to take.

A month into her research on Hisoka, she stopped cold. Other matters taken over her attention and she was glad for it.

Resting in somewhat peaceful silence, Senka sat cross-legged on a perfectly made bed with a bulky lap top stationed inches in front of her. Through all the hell she'd been, the girl had managed to discover her true talents lied in the realm of information gathering and intelligence. Using countless hidden contacts and connections to obtain literally information on anything or one.

Her companion, with jet black hair and round greys, quietly read in the room with Senka and felt this confident satisfaction. Right he was to capture this female to witness her morph into a beautiful butterfly in his grasp rather than someone else. He'll soon find out, the web meant to be controlled, isn't completely his anymore.

For the hundredth time, a sigh came from her lips. Violet eyes day dreamed at the computer screen, her cheek rested on the palm of her hand. Senka could have sworn she read the same line five times before diving back into a daze. It's one of those days were that night with Hisoka replayed like a solemn flashback. Wondering just how easily someone could make her feel so frail.

Kuroro, whom was occupying the comfy arm chair not too far from the girl, watched how detached she seemed to be. "What's bothering you?" he asked.

"Nothing." her response anything but convincing to the other.

A faint smile played on his lips. "So something is wrong." Kuroro ignored the answer she had just given him, knowing the girl better than that.

Within the year of Senka's joining the Phantom Troupe as an unofficial member, the two had spent a significant amount of time together. Whether it was between her bounty hunting or his thieving conquests, somehow they found each other. There were a couple instances where she aided them or vice versa.

Kuroro had been very content with the outcome of having such a young and talented girl by his side. It made things much more interesting since his charms seemed to not work on Senka, in other words, this required more cunning tactics. Which, provoked something unexpected. Feelings.

Grey eyes noticed how the girls' expression dimmed with unspoken distress, she attempted to distance herself by not explaining the troubling memories. Not that she was ever going to tell him about it, ever.

"It's... It's really nothing Kuroro." she lied in a sweetly delicate voice, legs untangled themselves to have knees brought up against her chest, arms hugged the bent limps.

Gracefully, he placed the book in his hand on the table at his feet. This was Senka's way of asking for attention and the only time she ever wanted attention is when something troubling ate at her. The gang leader was curious to what caused her beautiful features to turn sour in its expression. It had been only a short while since they were last together, she'd gotten a lead on a target and left to head home. That was three months ago.

He contemplated which way he should approach Senka and the reactions would he get. "Is it because I haven't been giving you much attention lately?" he asked cunningly.

Violet eyes burned in anger at the man. "Don't be an ass Kuroro, why would I be upset over something like that?" she cursed, letting her emotions get the better. Not that Senka regretted swearing at the dangerous being before her since it didn't affect him in the slightest. It irritated her, how she could easily be provoked yet Kuroro wouldn't so much as blink.

"Your 'rebellious teen girl' act says differently." he said, even though she technically was one still, only for another what six or seven months? Give or take? Either way, she wasn't appreciating his snappy remark about something that should be noted as trivial.

Senka's eye twitched at the flawless unnerved expression on his face, she blinked at him with a scowl. "Says the one who called me over to keep them company." mumbled the girl in an unimpressed voice.

Kuroro chuckled. "Which I am happy you did, Senka."

Her breath paused, the way her name purred from his lips caused a weird sensation to travel through her body. Teeth bit down on her bottom lip, she turned away from his stare and back onto the screen, unable to conceal blushing cheeks. Senka knew how dangerous this was, to have such feelings. It was only after that incident did she realize reckless desire for the gang leader. She wasn't stupid, his intentions weren't kind, words only spoke what she wanted to hear, actions selfish to gain whatever he wanted from her. It was all to trap her, keep in his web, preventing her from flying out of his reach. So then why? Why can't she just reject him?

Because there's no where to run, but to him.

Pitiful thoughts were interrupted when a hand closed the lap top, she blinked, turning to see the man now dangerously close. "Kuroro?"

A soft gasp paused in her throat, eyes widened as she met with grey ones. The not so strange sensation of his gentle lips pressed against hers sent a swarm of butterflies to invade her stomach. Senka allowed his movements to fall back onto the bed with Kuroro's body hovering without breaking their exchange. Although she wasn't denying him, conflict raised in the girl, wondering if this was a good idea.

Senka didn't have much attention to ponder the thoughts more, her mind was pulled back onto the being slipping a cold hand under black fabric. Kuroro felt the girls' body tense from his touch, causing him to break their lips apart, only an insignificant amount of space between them.

"Would you like me to stop?" he asked sweetly, voice sounding ever so caring. She was fooled into believing the words were genuine, falling into the web.

Teeth bit down on her bottom lip, expression turned shy with tinted cheeks, eyes averted from his. "No... I want you to keep going." permitted Senka, not that she could have rejection him.

A faintly playful smile curled his own lips. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle." Which wasn't a lie, he had been gentle for the most part.

Senka's fingers teased his belt buckle in a seductive manner. "That's not what I'm worried about." she mumbled in a quiet voice, violet ways shifted between his face and fingers that unbuttoned her blouse.

Kuroro investigated her expression, wondering where that confident girl went and replaced with this coy one. Maybe she was nervous? He knew her to be a virgin, was that is? He sensed a shift in Senka, one that he couldn't exactly pin point. Guess he'll find out soon enough, whatever she's hiding.

"Then what is it?" he asked daringly while his hand ventured on her torso naturally, as if knowing what to do. The soft pressure against her bra distracted Senka for a moment, chest tightened from building excitement.

Her sneaky fingers began to undo his buckle. "That's for me to know." Senka teased in an alluring voice. "And for you to find out." smirked the girl devilishly, a swift motion pulled the belt from around Kuroro's hips and sent it flying somewhere in the room.

An expression of pure entertainment by her bold aggression lit his features. "I'd like to see how long you'll be able to keep it a secret from me." He wondered aloud as she worked on unbuttoning his shirt.

Senka snickered at the statement. "Challenge accepted, Mr. Boss man." she taunted, gripping onto either side of the white fabric to pull him down. Her lips stopping any sort of comeback he might of said as arms wrapped around his neck. Giving the man no other option but to surrender.

Kuroro allowed her little tactic, parting his lips to deepened their exchange. She trembled when feeling his hand slip under her waistband to tug off the black pants. The girl raised hips and unintentionally rubbed against his, feeling something stiff. Nervousness began to settle into Senka, having brief second thoughts. Which Kuroro quickly made her forget.

Time seemed to literally fly, for within seconds. "Kuroro... Kuroro." she panted and moaning from his hips rocking into hers. The feeling of his hands gripping strongly on her hips as he moved gave the girl a sensation she didn't understand.

He observed how each movement made her tremble, how a slight change in direction he would thrust gave him a different reaction. It was almost like a game to see all the different responses she would give. Not just verbal, bodily as well. Senka's age began to show, giving into the pleasure without a fight. Fingers curled onto bed sheets, back arched in a lustful attempt to deepen his reach.

She wanted him to overwrite into her, to erase the memory of what that other male did. However, it wasn't the case. No matter what Kuroro would do, she'd unconsciously picture the fuchsia haired male.

Even though this person touched her with such care, completely different from the violent one, something was missing. He gave her butterflies, made skin hot and body tremble. Still, when she closed her eyes, Kuroro's image is replaced with another.

It scared her. How could she even think about a villain like that now? Well, not that Kuroro is an angel but not the point. She waited and wanted, even if the realization only appeared three months ago when that evil magician took her v-card away, that Senka desired Kuroro. In her childish way, selfishness and greed ruled. Believing this newfound reality was still obtainable, she'll soon have another harsh awakening.

"You surprise me, Senka." Kuroro openly commented on the fact this was obvious not her first time indirectly. She knew what the man was implying, the butterflies were gone and now left her in reality. They're no angels, that is for sure.

Senka shrugged nonchalantly, trying to maintain her carefree act. "You weren't too bad either." half lied the girl. She sat on the edge of the bed while he rested with the same book in hand.

A fearsome battle between the urge to ball into tears or something much worse. Something the girl never imaged to feel, let alone want. She didn't plan on this, to have such emotions for a man after all she went through. Anxiety caused a sickly feeling to curl her stomach into somersaults. Out, she needed to get out, now.

Just then, as if her prayer was answered, the ring of her phone allowed for an escape. Senka released a sigh, mentally thankfully to whomever had decided to message her at two in the morning.

"Um, so this was fun but I have to go. Got a job to do and all." the girl awkwardly blurted. Clumsily dressing herself before partically bolting from the room. Not wanting to drown in more shame, she couldn't bear to see Kuroro's condescending expression. Definitely, that would break her all over again.

The man, now left alone in the room, simply continued reading. "She forgot her computer, again." he said aloud, almost like he knew she'll be back.

Doesn't she always?

Outside, she panted for air against cold brick. "Fuck! My fucking damn lap top!" Senka cursed, vexed at herself for being so careless. A heavy sigh attempted to calm the girl down, hand over face. Breath in. Breath out. It was hard to focus on breathing with the tingling sensation in her womanly core.

Senka groaned in irritation, not understanding why she had slept with Kuroro and still feel... unfulfilled. It was in so way him, nope. All the blame is on her. He had been so gentle and nothing like that psycho. Then again, everyone has a cruel side.

In hopes to take her mind from the situation, she fetched her phone to see whom is was that saved her from social suicide. The girl read a message from an unknown number:

You should call sometimes, little angel - Hisoka

A soft gasp escaped her lips, no believing this was her savior.

Violet eyes stared at the screen before her in a state of nostalgia, the burning sensation of tears threatening to fall only worked against her. Trying hard to ignore the crave she seemed to have, heat raised all over. A trembling thump tapped the green call button, stomach turned with a sickly feeling as the dialing ringer invaded her ear. Senka mentally pleaded the person wouldn't answer and just let her drown in self-pity alone.

"What a lovely surprise." purred an unwanted familiar voice.

Bad luck should be her middle name.

The girl tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "You're the one who said to call" weakly retorted Senka, knowing that it was a foolish comeback.

A hum from the other tickled Senka's ear through the phone, vibrations made her shiver in ways she didn't want to admit. "Hm? Did I? I can't seem to remember the reason why, you'll have to remind me." he lied, obvious to Senka.

Her jaw tensed in reluctance, the girl's free arm coiled around her curved torso in self comfort. Expression softened from distress of the sadistic teasing. "I don't make me say it..." Senka unintentionally pleaded in a careful voice, trying to not expose the urge to surrender willingly. Thighs flexed from lower parts being tickled by an aroused itch.

On the other end, Hisoka smirked in wicked amusement. Male instinct telling him how close Senka was to admitting defeat, admitting her desire, her lust. It was definitely a form of entertainment for the magician to help pass the time until she was truly ready for him. Ready to be broken all over again, perhaps that's what would happen tonight.

Hisoka laughed, giving her chills. "Come on~ You're a big girl, it's just five little words." his voice seemed to began more and more alluring towards the end.

She bit her lips, hating the shame he was only encouraging to grow. Fingers gripped the mobile device tighter, thighs trembled. If only he could see the wonted expression of hers. "I... I want to... see you." Senka finally whispered in reluctance.

But he didn't feel satisfied. "Hm? Can you repeat that? I didn't quite hear you very well." The magician lied in a sadistic manner to further embarrass Senka.

Jaw flexed with irritation, unable to ignore her bodily needs. "I want to see you!" she shouted impatiently at the phone, earning an unseen look of immense excitement on Hisoka's features. Not that the girl cared at the moment with tears threatening to fall down her cheeks.

Devilish tongue licked his lips in wonderful anticipation. "Lovely job little Angel~ I'll send you my location. Don't keep me waiting long."

Like that, their conversation ended. Senka stared at the screen in a daze long after it turned blank. What did she just do? No way... There is absolutely no possible way she just agreed to meet with Hisoka. The same lunatic that violated her in the worst way and left her with nothing but shame.

Rationality was completely overruled by her unconscious physical attraction that she denied. Senka didn't want to believe the compatibility they had, both personality and bodily wise. Of course, she was just a child then. Only nineteen and already her life was a tragic mess. But isn't that alright? It's not as if there's anyone to disappoint or hurt other than herself.

Senka is free. No longer trapped by her family ties. She's able to be her own without ridicule. She didn't need to put on this perfect mask all the time. She could allow self indulgence. This chance, to be rid of the old Senka that was such a quiet little goody-goody.

Chest tightened, her body felt high from adrenaline. The girl looked at the address to where she needed to go. Deciding that maybe, just maybe, she didn't have to be a good girl. She could be bad.

Gingerly, a hand inched towards the door. Believing she wanted to run away when really it was much more complicated than that. Fist trembled, Senka gently knocked twice on the wood. Her breath heavy from the anxious rush of anticipation, waiting for the person inside to crack open the door to welcome her.

The girls' body seemed to froze when a click and turn of the knob warned of that welcome about to happen. Dim light shined from the room to reveal a man with reddish hair appeared wet from a shower. Highly toned body covered by a single white towel proved tempting. A mischievous expression watched how she blushed at the view that was appreciated, admitted or denied. Senka instantly regretted coming here, hating how her chest throbbed in thinking this demon of a man was slightly attractive with his hair down. Damn hormones.

"Oh? Senka, you actually came? And here I thought you'd run away or try to." Hisoka greeted with allurement he wasn't ashamed to show.

She hummed in a groan indifferently, mentally blaming Mel for giving away her real name. "Don't make me regret coming here... Hisoka." grumbled Senka while walking past the partically naked man. Already hating her whimsical decision.

"I guarantee you'll be highly satisfied." said the magician in a seductive tone as he closed the door, locking it as well. Impressed that she was able to find out his identity, not that it was hard.

Senka, mentally frazzled by his bodily structure, wondering just how fickle she is to think of not minding his crudeness that an appearance like that. Superficial really. Hey, she's young right?

Hisoka didn't give her much time upon entering the room, roughly pushing her onto crisp white sheets. A gasp escaped her lips, not from the impact, that was nothing. As he hovered on top Senka, his hand took hold both of hers, pinning them above her head.

"What the hell Hisoka? Let Go!" she demanded. The girl wiggled and struggled against him, showing her detestment of his crude actions. He didn't care for it and simply ignored her.

A devilish smirk curled his lips, free hand descended lower down her body for something much more wicked. To his entertainment, she froze when he slipped passed her waistband. Thighs trembled when feeling fingers touching the most womanly part of her body, jaw tensed, she buried shame into her arm. Not wanting to see the look of twisted satisfaction on Hisoka's face.

He could feel all the lewd motions from Senka's female asset. Dangerously heated throbs and wetness enticed him to further ulterior motives. The magician noticed how embarrassed she seemed to be acting and it caused him to wonder.

Retrieving his finger, yellow eyes narrowed on a sticky white substance he was all too familiar with. A hum of curious amusement rumbled from him, Senka made the mistake of peaking to see what he was so interested. Violet eyes widened at the evidence on his digits, she mentally cursed herself for being innocently careless.

"Oh my, such a naughty little vixen, coming here after being with another man, Was he not that good?" outrageously teased Hisoka, enjoying her expression.

Hurt and embarrassment flash in her face as she turned away. "It's not like that... It's..." She was silenced by his mouth. Voice muffled by the invasion of Hisoka's tongue as he claimed dominance.

Not having it, she fought back in rebellious struggle. Her limps shuffled and fidgeted under his rough hold. The magician enjoyed how Senka didn't willingly give in easily, making him work harder. When the girl began to tremble he knew she was ready.

Hisoka broke their heated exchange, delighted to see her expression turn lustful. Lips turned their attention to her neck, giving a seductive lick on a coloured ear. "I know precisely what is it~ I'll gladly take responsibility." He alluring whispered before teeth bit down on flesh.

Senka let out a small moan, both his actions and words being the things to push her over the edge. Finding it hard to fight the man anymore.

To the magician's surprise, legs wrapped around his hips just how he likes it. A smirked curled the other under him, teasing with a slight rub. "If you're going to keep talking, be useful." she playfully taunted in a suggestive manner, hinting indirectly for oral pleasure.

Hisoka laughed devilishly at her shift, finding no reason to keep her hands bounded and released them. "Testing me are we, Senka? How daring." said the man in excitement while straighten his back. Both hands now moved to grip firmly on her hips to roughly pull the girl against hardness. He smirked mischievously. "But that bravery won't last after I've senselessly ravished you."

Senka's breath paused in her throat from his words, body heat raised incredibly high. The throbbing between her thighs began to become painfully unbearable. He has her, right where he wants. Trembling lips parted,

She felt so torn, unable to pick a side. Well, not really a side per say. Yet. Kuroro's presence around gave her the wanted company. She could live a dangerous yet content life with him. However, the fact she wasn't a spider with a number or tattoo meant caution. Kuroro could make Senka into a target without remorse since his primary drive is to the troupe. To keep the spider alive, no matter what. That was a philosophy Senka wasn't ready to fully commit to, not that she didn't believe in him. The girl is just fickle in her selfish ways and this newfound independence fulfills her in a need no male can ever satisfy.

The girl doesn't want to be eaten, not by this monster, or any other monsters for that matter. Strength, that's what she needs and power. She wants to defend herself from these creatures that want nothing but to consume everything she has and leave her with nothing. She doesn't want that, no. She refuses.

Then, the answer is simple. She'll just become a monster herself.

"Work your magic."