Train Never Stops

My breath comes out cold and relentless

In the train that never stops.

I'm stuck like my panic attack became the wheels,

The faster it goes the harder it gets to believe

I'm running on an earthquake corrupting my lungs.

I have a powerful engine of a mind

But where I'm chugging towards, I'll never know.

The more the train speeds through

These invisible tracks the more I'm afraid

Of the unknown, of unhappiness.

I squeeze everything into the passenger trucks,

The things I've learned in school, the memories,

Doesn't matter when I get off the train.

But the train never stops,

How can I step off when I'm stuck?

Stuck in the Antarctic that grips my bones

Like I'm paralyzed in the violent snows,

Except I'm the glaziers so fragile

I'm scared might break If one foot walks over me.

But my engine of a mind is overthinking,

Running hotter than everyone else

Just to keep running alive.

It's these hot coals warming my chamber,

The sparks like electric from other trains

Rousing me to scream overjoyed

Like the conductor on this train pulling the whistle.

So if I have the wisdom and the warm chambers,

Then why do the dark cabinets holding trauma

In the back of the passenger truck

Make this engine of a mind want to stop?

The dark cabinets open as it unleashes an overcast

A shadow of a man driving the train off the tracks.

The reason the train had so many bumps,

So many treacherous hills in the beginning.

The train passed Antartica, I'm not there anymore,

But I still feel the paralyzing cold.

He is Antarctica,

I felt paralyzed when he stepped on me,

He made me shatter into a million ice particles.

I run from his grips in this train,

If I jump off the train that is casting a light,

A light so bright through the doors I burst open.

What would the unknown feel like?

So I jump and land crashing into the trees.