Nonexistent Good

My memories are cards shuffled badly

With too many jokers mixed in between.

The jokers laugh at me when I don't remember

The diamonds I'm supposed to remember,

The bright shine of the happiness I once had.

My mind used to be ruled by kings and queens

Perched at the top of the glass castle,

Peering over the Englishmen walking by in peace.

The men were so small it felt like the castle

Could touch the clouds in a fortified,

Unstoppable way with dragons flying over them.

But one day the dragons didn't exist,

The castle shrunk to a house set on fire,

The King became too egotistical and tyrant-like

That the Queen ended up alone.

Ruling nobody but herself.

It became much darker

As the clouds turned dark grey,

Ready to rain the tears that roll off my face at night.

So she put her royal robes in a trunk,

Letting a layer of dust collect on the top

That she never touched again.

It is reality she found herself in,

Underneath the title of a King and a Queen

Put on a pedestal when they are normal people.

The cards King and Queen vanished from my mind

When it used to be the most important card,

It became the most hurtful.

Losing the happiness in my mind I don't remember.

Here came the jokers jumping on all fours,

A violent windstorm came amidst the fog

It blew away the things I loved,

Wiping away my self-esteem

Welcoming my anxiety and depression

Carrying the weight of the world behind them.