There Is A Reason

Grief is the winds that are so cold

It goes right through me.

I can lie and keep pretending I don't feel the cold

But I feel it everyday.

It feels purposeless but it's there

To take me into flight as a bird so exhausted

From flapping so hard in a world I don't deserve.

I feel the cold in my bones in this apartment,

I pray one day it will get better

But nothing is linear.

There's always a struggle as I stare at poetry

Like it will soothe the sadness in my soul.

It's four walls I wake up to each day,

And continue to without anyone to help

My broken pieces to mend.

I keep burying myself to these blankets on my bed,

Like sadness is a home that I run out of

When I start drowning.

But why not?

Why not have these motivations to get better

Not just at 2AM but to grow everyday.

It's hard to swim out of this home I've made in bed,

But I shouldn't have avoided grief.

I will let it soar like the birds I dream of,

Let it grow as I feel through these dark roses I grew

The destination is unknown in this blank map

but there is a reason grief exists.

So here my wings will continue to flap

Harder and faster for the life I want.