Trying Again

I slip into the oblivion of suicidal thoughts

But somehow I'm still here.

Sometimes I forget I'm stronger then I think I am

And doing better than I ever thought I would.

It feels like a blurry nightmare of the tower

Thinking about taking my life doesn't feel real,

But I lived through the darkest part.

The harrowing tales of me being a hero

Saving myself from the scary depths of my mind.

I've tried so many times getting better

Each time I fall I think it's gonna be my last

From a body that may be weak temporarily

But my soul is the clarity of a thousand pages

Finally focusing on the headlines for

Another new breakthrough in this scary world.

At a young age I wanted to be a hero

But I don't need to be a hero for people

That is an added bonus when I have extra love,

Extra energy to spread to the world.

I can only focus on myself and build up from there.

I don't need heroics to define who I am,

Being here and saving myself from the darkness

Already makes me strong

I don't need validation for that.

I'll keep trying

With tears streaming down my face,

My fists full of dealing with mental illness.

I'll keep trying

Because there has to be more than this.

Hope has to lead somewhere.

Beautiful or ugly I still want to see.